Marriage Proposal question

[drbonner]

Don't start your marriage out with an escape clause. On the day you propose, what happens when your marriage ends shouldn't be part of the discussion. If that's the terms of using your mom's wedding set, then don't use it. That's my opinion. Take it for what it's worth.

This, and this only

[jlinville]

Don't start your marriage out with an escape clause. On the day you propose, what happens when your marriage ends shouldn't be part of the discussion. If that's the terms of using your mom's wedding set, then don't use it. That's my opinion. Take it for what it's worth.

^^^This! Well said!

[cantexduck]

Take the stone out and have it placed in a ring for your dad. Melt the metal and use it in part to make two new settings. One for you to use and one for your brother to use. That way all three can have some part of it. They are able to convert yellow to white gold or even just plate over yellow with white. Seems like a good solution to me.

[Smokeater]

I'm thinkin' when you propose, just tell her you wanted Mom to be there so "I'm proposing with her ring". Afterwards, just tell her you want her to have one of her own and go shopping. If she was to bring up using Moms ring, then talk it out. As in, prenup just doesn't feel right, etc. All out in the open and agreed upon. Good luck and congrats!

[Big Todd]

As the rest have said. Get a different ring maybe try a custom one that can be made to look like your moms but don't start a marriage out with a proposal of if things don't work out.

[Stoof]

My wife wears my grandmothers ring and she was grateful to receive it. We never had a conversation about what might happen. But after 8 years of bliss she has mentioned recently that she would like a ring that is her own. I am going to wait until our 10 year and get her a new one.
Congrats and good luck to you!

[TxAg]

I really appreciate all the input here and it definitely has my wheels turning. Let me add here on the actual scenario.

We've been talking about marriage for a while now, and I've had it planned to ask her to marry me at the end of the year anyhow. HOWEVER, God has blessed us with a child a little sooner than we had planned. We've got doctor visits coming up soon and in order for my insurance to cover her, we have to be married. Long story short, I havn't got my year end bonus yet, so my funds are a little short to go buy a ring in the next week or 2. Using my mothers ring was something that my dad brought up to help me out. I've also planned on getting her another ring in the spring/summer when we plan to do a small ceremony. For now, it will be a JP thing, to get it all legalized. I know she's not the kind of woman that would ever keep the ring were something to ever happen. She's too soft hearted and has too much respect for people, regardless of the situation. I've seen it time and time again, and have even asked her, "why are you not mad at that person?!".

Anyway, just thought I'd throw in some more details. I don't want to have to ask her to sign anything because I trust her, I trust our relationship, and both of us would fight to the death before a divorce was ever an option.

get her a cheap band for now. (or a temporary one with fake diamond). buy her a ring she likes later when you have the funds. keep your mom's ring as a family keepsake

[Sleepy]

I'm thinkin' when you propose, just tell her you wanted Mom to be there so "I'm proposing with her ring". Afterwards, just tell her you want her to have one of her own and go shopping. If she was to bring up using Moms ring, then talk it out. As in, prenup just doesn't feel right, etc. All out in the open and agreed upon. Good luck and congrats!

After all the thinking and back and forth that's been going through my head, I like this suggestion. I think this will be the way to go.

[Mike D]

After all the thinking and back and forth that's been going through my head, I like this suggestion. I think this will be the way to go.

That has the potential to work out well or turn out badly. Women tend to get emotionally attached to their wedding ring.

I still think the best thing is to get her one made like it and just keep your Mom's ring out of it. Your Dad is still obviously emotionally attached to it and if you wife to be gets really attached to it, then it can go nowhere but bad.

IMO it's just not worth the risk that is there. It could turn out where someone really gets for lack of a better word "butthurt" and that is a no win situation for you.

[JKaggie07]

My advice would be to find a different ring. I know that this person is important to you and so is your mother's memory, but I don't think it is a good idea to go into a marriage with any prenuptial stipulations. I think it sends the wrong message to your spouse. Nonetheless, follow your gut. Your own judgement is usually the best judgement.

[Addicted2bh]

I hope this proposal thread goes better than the last one!

Knew there was going to be one

[Kdog]

The actual ring itself is way over rated in my opinion. Buy her a nice and simple band now and then get her a nicer diamond later. Remember, she is not marrying you for the ring and if she is, well... run like your hair is on fire! Best of luck in your marriage!

Agree 100%.

[AntlerCollector]

I hope this proposal thread goes better than the last one!

How old are you OP?

[AntlerCollector]

Knew there was going to be one

You been trolling this thing just waiting. Lol

[nursejenn]

You been trolling this thing just waiting. Lol

But did we ever find out if there was a proposal on the last thread?