Marriage Proposal question

[tvc184]

If you want the ring to stay "in the family".... make sure it stays "in the family" and I don't mean future family.

[MySRT8U]

I see it as no different than a pre nup. Should I ever get married I would expect to sign one as well as my future wife. Better safe than sorry. Seems everyone here thinks it's a fantasy world where divorce doesn't happen. Well let me tell you something, it can happen to anyone. Don't get caught with your pants down if it happens to you.

[KevBow]

I've heard as long as the ring isn't a gift or given to woman on Christmas or valentines day that in court you can get it back

[JustinJ]

Maybe I'm in the minority, but I WILL sign a pre-nup, and as an extension if I didn't want her to keep the ring it wold be outlined in that contract. Marriage, in its legal from, is just a contract and I want the terms of that contract to be laid out. If the legal (see: property in the case of divorce) stuff didn't mater than nobody would be married by the gov't and marriage would remain within the church.

[18ncs]

Don't start your marriage out with an escape clause. On the day you propose, what happens when your marriage ends shouldn't be part of the discussion. If that's the terms of using your mom's wedding set, then don't use it. That's my opinion. Take it for what it's worth.

Ditto

[Catarina]

I wont get married with out a prenup...... I broke up with a long time girlfriend for several reasons, but one reason is because I brought up the prenup question and got the same answer as some have said above "why are you already looking for a way out"

As for the wedding ring, I think its a great idea and a wonderful way to contribute to your mothers legacy. From your post I don't think your wife would have a problem with it and I'm sure she would understand your families concerns.

If I was in your situation I would do the exact same thing, in regards to your mothers ring and asking your future wife to sign the agreement

[tbeak]

I'm with some of the others saying to get her a ring thats hers. As nice a gesture as you think it is (and it is), i can 99.999% guarantee that your mothers ring is probably not the same type ring your wife would want. i'm sure she would accept it, probably very happy, but thats not the point im getting at. someone else said it too, its not "hers".

As for the prenup, i dont think its starting a marriage with an "out" clause. Divorce does happen, its very real. i hope that i never have to experience it, and we did not sign a pre-nup. for some people it is a good thing. if your coming into a marriage with a lot of stuff then yea i can see doing it. if you were like me and didnt have a whole lot, doesnt much matter. Tis all about you to and making it work, if you want that it will work. the pirced of paper is only there in-case all else fails and you get to keep your stuff. Just my 0.02

[dc1211]

If you know she is the one and you are willing to work it out and no matter what, giving her your moms ring shouldn't be an issue but I would suggest the escape clause

[Tilladaddy]

Don't start your marriage out with an escape clause. On the day you propose, what happens when your marriage ends shouldn't be part of the discussion. If that's the terms of using your mom's wedding set, then don't use it. That's my opinion. Take it for what it's worth.

This is best advise right here. Don't set your relationship up for failure.

[TXHUNT3R]

Tough one.

I too have a mother that has passed away too soon so I can put myself in your shoes a bit.

I'm sure your future wife will see it as an honor so that is a good thing.

If you do decide to write up a clause, certainly wait a few days after the excitement has settled to bring up your dad and brothers concern. If she has a problem with that, you both decide together to pick her out another ring an shoot at that point she gets to get exactly what she wants.

Maybe wait to her from some of the ladies on the GS.

GL brother and sorry for the loss of your mother.

[TXhoghunter94]

I would use a different ring it you are worried that something may happen. I'm sure she would not feel good about it if you told her you were already planning a back up plan.

[Mike D]

No way I would ask my future wife to sign something like that.

If it means that much to your family it should stay with your Dad.

Have her a ring made that looks like your Mom's ring.

[drwilliams]

When I asked my better half to marry me and gave her $8000 dollars in a ring I told her if something ever happens to us I'm getting that ring back and it's goin to the pawn shop. That was the same night I asked her to marry me. You know the girl better then anyone of us on here does you do what you think is best. I would do the same thing your dad and brother have asked of you to do

[SOLID EAGLE]

All in, is ALL IN, even the ring you give her. I'd get her a different ring.

[TxsBuda]

Tell your dad and brother what you really need from them is their blessing and to continue praying that your marriage is what God wants and to give you the fatherly and brotherly support you need for the rest of your life. If she's a good woman and things just somehow don't work out then she'll give it back. It's called trust.