LEO/Fire/EMS (funny things you've learned that you didn't think you would)

[APDBrad]

I learned that people have no clue how to get home a different way when you have a road block because of an accident.
People can hide in places you would never imagine.
These aren't my pants. (After drugs or paraphernalia are found)
I was going to get my Reg/inspection sticker fixed, pay tickets, pay surcharge, etc, etc today.
I'm here to see my friend, (don't know their name)
(Not funny but) There are some truly evil people in this world.

[Terrychester]

Many moons ago,

6 police cars, 3 micu's, 4 fire trucks, several cars in accident.

Another accident happens as an inebriated driver, runs into tail-end charley fire truck,

When asked why he didn't stop, he answered what flashing red lights..........

He was transported to city jail after a trip to the emergency room. All emergency vehicles returned to service, fire truck received minor injuries......

[basskicker24]

This post is funny. And soooo true. Especially the polyester pants part and today's weather

[brysdad]

In the last six months of working mental health I've learned hospitals and ER doctors don't do squat until 1530. At that point a person will be medically cleared and ready for transport. Also, if an Emergency Detention is in place, hospitals will wait 45 hours to do anything. They will then ask you what an OPC is.

[Living4October]

If you ever hear a statement,story, etc start off with...... "See, what happened wuz...." or "Imma tell you what happened, but listen" or "Lemme tell you bout what happened while I wasn't doing nothing"

Everyone that gets arrested for dope in their pants someone just remembers that the pants they have on are actually not theirs but they didn't steal them either.

Men who beat the crap out of their wives and girlfriends expect you to believe, "she beat me up" when they don't have a scratch on them and the woman looks like an mma fighter just let her have it.

Drunks love to recite the law, except they don't do it speaking english. It's some type of gibberish that containes, nouns, verbs, adverbs, and adjectives but just in the wrong order.

This world will be screwed in about 15 years because the children of today will be not the leaders of tomorrow, but the idiots of tomorrow. They're so incompetent, they have no respect for adults, and they think that they will all be sucessful by not attending school and using drugs.

[texcop153]

Back when I was in patrol, my favorite call was the Mom that called in because her kid would not get up and go to school. Really Lady?

[Terrychester]

I have worked in EMS in 25 years, this is bringing back memories.

Thanks for the laughs and chuckles....

[Texantax]

The Murphy's Law of entering a runaway/missing juvenile: as soon as you hit Transmit, that juvenile will immediately be located.

As a dispatcher, I'm pretty sure officers are just there to test my patience.

There is a direct correlation between an officer walking into dispatch and saying "Wow it sure is quiet!" and how much the rest of his day will suck. (Just kidding, but it will cause us to yell at him)

People will call 911 for:
-a spider OUTSIDE the bathroom window if they can't reach their exterminator
-neighbors watering when they aren't supposed to be during water restrictions
-more dumb reasons than you could ever imagine!

Yeah, and right after these people call, dispatch STILL sends us on this bs. SMH...

[BigRed323]

-An ambulance is viewed as a taxi by a large majority of the population

-Medicare/Medicaid card is thought to be a ticket to the hospital

-Obese people find it funny as you struggle to squeeze them through the door of their trailers

-Painful knees tend to get much worse at 3 in the morning (even though it's hurt for 2 weeks)

[Jkkj]

Some people think that a ring worm is a good enough reason to be transported to a hospital. They also think hot flashes at 3 am and again at 5 am is a medical emergency. Nursing home nurses will always put blame on someone else for calling 911 for non emergent transfers. And that there are a lot more really stupid people out there than I thought.

[flywise]

-An ambulance is viewed as a taxi by a large majority of the population

-Medicare/Medicaid card is thought to be a ticket to the hospital

-Obese people find it funny as you struggle to squeeze them through the door of their trailers

-Painful knees tend to get much worse at 3 in the morning (even though it's hurt for 2 weeks)

AMEN
AMEN
AMEN
" my knee hurts mr. fireman"
How long has it been hurting?
"Since I fell off my bike a month ago"
So why are you calling 911 at 3am a month later?
" well, I just can't stand it anymore"
Does it hurt more now than it did at say 6pm?
" not really"

Thanks a lot !

[flywise]

Back when I was in patrol, my favorite call was the Mom that called in because her kid would not get up and go to school. Really Lady?

Honest to Goodness...... Dispatch toned us out last year to a medical.

Call advised that her and her husband could not get their 12 y/o son to take his medicine.
We show up, I ask the kid why he didn't want to take medicine. He replied it made him feel funny ( NEW TO ADD MEDS)
I said I wouldn't take that crap either... But, he probably should take them this one time and ask his parents to get another Dr. Appointment so they could all discuss the effects he was experiencing.
He said ok Sir.
5 min call.....@ 11pm

[Terrychester]

On a shooting call, you arrive on scene, you tell your new partner to get the drug box and telemetry, that's when you learn that your book smart partner has no common sense and is looking in the outside compartments on the box, for the telemetry box.........

Yeah he pretty much aced the certification exam, but doesn't remember that certain items are kept inside the box and not outside.

IF I couldn't have book smart and common sense smart together give me a partner with common sense.......

[Chew]

I granted a divorce one night to a crackhead couple that kept fighting. On the third call out to their house I pulled out my penal code from the trunk and "by the powers vested in me by the Texas Commission on Law Enforcement Standards and Education and the governor of the state of Texas, I now pronounce you divorced". The man came up and shook and my hand and the lady looked at me and cried. Never got a call back there.

[icecoldtexan]

I have learned that cops will not be there when you need them. You have to take care of yourself. Cops will arrive later to write report.