What if divorce was NOT an option?

[BigD]

That's the thing. People change throughout their lives. It would be really great and romantic and all if you met one person in high school, fell in love, had a litter, and lived happily ever after through the ups and downs. But the facts are, in today's world, that just doesn't happen anymore. And who's to say it has to?

I'm not nearly the same person I was in high school. THen I turned into a totally different chick in college. Live and learn and get your arse kicked through your twenties and your priorities change again. It's just not practical to expect one person to grow and change with you through all that.


Now I caveat this with the whole kid thing again. If you have a burning desire to pass on your genes, it behooves you to pick a good mate because raising that kid is THE single most important thing you'll do in your life and your choice of mate affects that kiddo more than anything. Life is hard enough to get through without having a dumbarse for a primary guiding force in your life.

well said

[GarGuy]

RedNeck Archer, What would happen if you came home today and found out your lady had been sleeping with one of your friends for ..say...two years. Oh.. she doesnt plan on changing that. What then?

[flashof1979]

How many of you divorcees actually sat down with your ex before you ever got married and asked the big question? What are your views and opinions on divorce? That is a huge question to know and learn about a person. Only one of many premarital questions or situations to discuss.

[Silent Assassin]

LA, there used to be reason to be married, if not for breeding reason.

Of course, who encourages it? To save few hundred of dollars by being married while single ppl gets the hiked price whether be insurance, tax purpose, mortgage, blah, blah...those were reason why some people got married. It doesn't seem much practical nowadays. Some people are now divorcing but still live in the same household, to avoid the very reason why people got married in first place. It's almost an exact of polar opposite. It's now cheaper and benefit to be single again. Just my train of thought on the topic.

[Keg]

If it weren't for my daughter I would have to say with out doubt the absolute best thing to ever happen to me.

Same here!

Practiice breeding is best.

Yep!

[Shane]

That's the thing. People change throughout their lives. It would be really great and romantic and all if you met one person in high school, fell in love, had a litter, and lived happily ever after through the ups and downs. But the facts are, in today's world, that just doesn't happen anymore. And who's to say it has to?

I'm not nearly the same person I was in high school. THen I turned into a totally different chick in college. Live and learn and get your arse kicked through your twenties and your priorities change again. It's just not practical to expect one person to grow and change with you through all that.


Now I caveat this with the whole kid thing again. If you have a burning desire to pass on your genes, it behooves you to pick a good mate because raising that kid is THE single most important thing you'll do in your life and your choice of mate affects that kiddo more than anything. Life is hard enough to get through without having a dumbarse for a primary guiding force in your life.

Wow. You really think it doesn't happen anymore?

Actually, it does happen. I could go on all day listing the names of people I know who have been happily married for years and years, through thick and thin, and they're not the same people they were when they met either.

[Shane]

This is making me laugh. The gays WANT marriage, and now all the heteros want to do away with marriage. What a deal.

[Lady Archer]

I shouldn't have said it doesn't happen anymore. It does. I should have said that it's the exception rather than the norm anymore. But you're right. It does still happen.

[EastTXHunter]

That's the thing. People change throughout their lives. It would be really great and romantic and all if you met one person in high school, fell in love, had a litter, and lived happily ever after through the ups and downs. But the facts are, in today's world, that just doesn't happen anymore. And who's to say it has to?

I'm not nearly the same person I was in high school. THen I turned into a totally different chick in college. Live and learn and get your arse kicked through your twenties and your priorities change again. It's just not practical to expect one person to grow and change with you through all that.


Now I caveat this with the whole kid thing again. If you have a burning desire to pass on your genes, it behooves you to pick a good mate because raising that kid is THE single most important thing you'll do in your life and your choice of mate affects that kiddo more than anything. Life is hard enough to get through without having a dumbarse for a primary guiding force in your life.

See - women change like the wind. Men change bourbon or beer. Sometimes boxer brand. Usually channels on TV really fast but as a whole we never change. Women tend to be frustrated by this fact and we don't get how you gals can change so easily. Just gotta find someone who speaks your language I guess...don't look for someone who completes you cause as soon as you feel completed, they will change. Accept said change and compliment it...life will be much smoother!

[EastTXHunter]

How many of you divorcees actually sat down with your ex before you ever got married and asked the big question? What are your views and opinions on divorce? That is a huge question to know and learn about a person. Only one of many premarital questions or situations to discuss.

I did. We agreed it would be a last resort.

[Keg]

The parents of a good friend were an inspiration to me....I know that it can work....With God....But both have to have the same mindset...
After 1 divorce..I am/was kinda gunshy..(don't wanna get into all of it)....I feel like I hit a homerun this time....But I still tell our kids I don't believe in divorce(til death do U part)....

[deerplanter]

NOW, to touch on what you said.

I agree... Neither my wife nor I will tolerate infidelity. Not that I will kill anyone (now that im older). BUT, that is a one strike deal.

I feel in that situation you broke the bond/agreement, not I. you can explain it to GOD when you get to the gates...

So I guess the "Till Death Do us Part" has clauses? I dated my exe for a year had lived together another year, we were married for 18 years and have to girls. My point is you never know what your tomorrows will bring. my Grandparents were married 50 years when they seperated, they have both passed now but never got back together.

[Lady Archer]

...but just because one doesn't find their soul mate in study hall or at the Tri Delt mixer, doesn't mean they're missing out on life or love or that they're going straight to hell.

I was married once. It was really great. I learned a lot. He cheated. I moved on. Since then I've had the privilege of dating some really amazing men. I look at it as more of a positive than a failure. Some folks live their entire life with their one "soul mate." Others get to fall in love a few more times and experience lots of different flavors of love. It doesn't make on right and another wrong. Just different. And I'd have married my first husband again even if I knew how it would end. Life is your experiences!

[Keg]

I shouldn't have said it doesn't happen anymore. It does. I should have said that it's the exception rather than the norm anymore. But you're right. It does still happen.

It does....Not nearly as often tho....

[Shane]

I shouldn't have said it doesn't happen anymore. It does. I should have said that it's the exception rather than the norm anymore. But you're right. It does still happen.

Staying married the first time isn't the exception. Divorce is very common, no doubt about that. But divorce isn't the norm. It may be the norm in some circles or in some socio-economic levels, but not across the board. It sucks that it is as common as it is, and it is more common than it was a couple generations ago. But still not the norm.

It does seem like the norm sometimes when you hear about yet another friend or family member that is going through a divorce. But when you stop and look around at all the other marriages around you that are still going strong, you get better perspective. We just don't hear much about those marriages, unless they live long enough to have a 50th anniversary or something.