What if divorce was NOT an option?

[ZackM]

Hmm...something to consider here.
Do you see marriage as a man made institution or religious?

Short answer - I see marriage as a man-made institution brought up for power and property thousands of years ago.

I see holy matrimony as a promise before God that 2 consenting adults make. (key word "consenting", think middle ages and dowries and arranged marriages...)

And lastly, I see lasting relationships made between adults who have no faith, yet still find a love for each other in their own way.

So, if you can accept that marriage and holy matrimony and lasting relationships are all separate ideologies, then you can certainly accept the fact that marriage is a farce and a way to control people in a society.


For me, I have a very strong live and let live philosophy. My wife and I married at the age of 20 after a very short long distance relationship. We had briefly dated in high school years before. We eloped in Las Vegas 6 days before I left for Iraq and at our second anniversary, I had only been in the US for 4 months. Throughout the hardships we faced of age, money, time separated, etc; we just hit 10 years and things have never been better.

We were both raised in church. (Catholic and Lutheran); yet we have only been to church as a married couple probably 10-20 times total so far. For me personally, I made a commitment to my wife to be the absolute best partner that I can be. I take that vow very seriously, but I do not give much credit to our faith in us sticking it out together. Maybe God deserves more credit that I give, probably so, but that's a different conversation.

Point being; we are definitely not the mold that is being professed as the model for a lasting marriage. But we have a much stronger relationship than most couples we know that go to church regularly and took the pre-marriage classes and such. I do not subscribe to any theory that has finite rules in it like the words "all", "everyone", etc...

Everyone's path and story are different, and though I don't go to church, I do have faith. And a very strong belief in John 8:7 and Matthew 7:1.

Just my $.02.. DEFINITELY not pointing fingers at anyone, so please don't take offense.

[flashof1979]

Fixed it for you

Yep

[Redneck Archer]

I am not a fan of divorce...

I believe some people are meant to NOT be together. they should have figured that out before getting married.

not that my wife and I are perfect and dont fight ever. we do, BUT for the most part we have good open communication (which is key). there is not one person out there guy or girl who you can be around that much and not get into disagreements or arguements. PERIOD...

MOST divorces in my opinion now adays have nothing to do with the fact that people are abused/mistreated. it is a selfish thing... "the grass is greener" or tired of sleeping with the same person (selfishness). you put a ring on her and told her or him "in sickness and in health, till death do us part" in front of GOD and Everybody (man or woman up!)

I think divorce should be MUCH stricter...

I dont believe in sole mates. there is not one person out there specifically designed for you.

I struggle conversating with those who say oh this is my 3rd or 4th or 5th husband or wife... really!?!?!

my wife and I lived together for 4 almost 5 years before getting married... we have had our ups and downs. both before and after marriage. still together and still strong as ever 12 years and a kid later.

[JHT]

my wife and I lived together for 4 almost 5 years before getting married....

I thought this was frowned upon by most if not all churches?

[flashof1979]

So, if one partner commits adultery what is the proper action to take in your mind? Forgive and forget? A lot of divorces are the result of such broken vows. Life is way too short to be miserable.

Great question! I do believe that we can forgive and should. We are commanded to forgive in that very such way. I watched as a kid my parents struggle after one of my parents committed adultery against the other. It took time and a lot of it to begin the healing process not only as a marriage, but as a family. They stuck it out, worked it out, and grow stronger each day. That was over 25 years ago and now they have been married for 38 years. We should not be as worried about this life being too short. It is the eternal life we are after.
I have seen the good and bad of a marriage. I am thankful that my parents made it work, and instilled in me the biblical concept of marriage.

[Lady Archer]

I think the womens Liberation movement did a lot towards there being more divorces. Before that they just made things work..after it they now just get out if they don't like it.

Or in simpler terms...we don't HAVE to put up with yer chit no mo!

In my grandparents' and parents' generations, the women most DEFINITELY got the short end of the stick. On both sides of my family the husbands ran around on their wives, beat the carp outta them, had illegitimate kids, and treated the wives like slaves/staff. So the women finally wised up and had enough. THey raised their daughters to have a choice. Get an education, don't get pregnant, and make sure you can support yourself. THAT way, you can be with a man who treats you well instead of being with just any many to survive.

[Redneck Archer]

I thought this was frowned upon by most if not all churches?

where did I say anything about church? we didnt get married in a church. we got married at my wifes grandpa's ranch. I never said anything about a church. I am a christian and close to GOD... we talk daily... I worship in my own ways.

I dont go to church. this is a good example as to why. MOST of the time it doesnt support my beliefs. church's are man made. and the marriage "rule's" made by man (which differ) are not my concern. I dont care what anyone else thinks or their opinion. I am not living my life to please another man. I am living my life to please myself, and do my best to please GOD, and be a man of my word...

If I am going to tell someone I am going to be with them till i die. you can bet your very last dollar I am going to make sure I can live with that person and sleep next to that person etc...

you gonna go buy a brand new 60k truck and sign the papers before driving it? how about a used truck?! didnt think so...

my wife and I agreed upon all that going into our arrangements. which again are no church's or anyone elses business...

we got married out at a "ranch" surrounded buy GOD's beauty and creation (outside in the feild where I hunt/hunted)/NOT in a man made place...

[Cam-Mac]

What if marraige were illegal?

[EastTXHunter]

Can't lie, I'd be typing this from a cell in Huntsville for homicide had I not been able to divorce that lying, cheating, manipulating, manhood robbing, unspeakable named *****!

[Redneck Archer]

Can't lie, I'd be typing this from a cell in Huntsville for homicide had I not been able to divorce that lying, cheating, manipulating, manhood robbing, unspeakable named *****!

NOW, to touch on what you said.

I agree... Neither my wife nor I will tolerate infidelity. Not that I will kill anyone (now that im older). BUT, that is a one strike deal.

I feel in that situation you broke the bond/agreement, not I. you can explain it to GOD when you get to the gates...

[Redneck Archer]

What if marraige were illegal?

then I would have been all set!!! I was perfectly fine with our arrangements (living together for years)... BUT, she got to the point that she wanted a wedding...

well, in life you pick your battles (I gave in after a little while). BUT, again. we got married at the ranch/farm

[ZackM]

where did I say anything about church? we didnt get married in a church. we got married at my wifes grandpa's ranch. I never said anything about a church. I am a christian and close to GOD... we talk daily... I worship in my own ways.

I dont go to church. this is a good example as to why. MOST of the time it doesnt support my beliefs. church's are man made. and the marriage "rule's" made by man (which differ) are not my concern. I dont care what anyone else thinks or their opinion. I am not living my life to please another man. I am living my life to please myself, and do my best to please GOD, and be a man of my word...

If I am going to tell someone I am going to be with them till i die. you can bet your very last dollar I am going to make sure I can live with that person and sleep next to that person etc...

you gonna go buy a brand new 60k truck and sign the papers before driving it? how about a used truck?! didnt think so...

my wife and I agreed upon all that going into our arrangements. which again are no church's or anyone elses business...

we got married out at a "ranch" surrounded buy GOD's beauty and creation (outside in the feild where I hunt/hunted)/NOT in a man made place...

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner.

[Darton]

Or in simpler terms...we don't HAVE to put up with yer chit no mo!

In my grandparents' and parents' generations, the women most DEFINITELY got the short end of the stick. On both sides of my family the husbands ran around on their wives, beat the carp outta them, had illegitimate kids, and treated the wives like slaves/staff. So the women finally wised up and had enough. THey raised their daughters to have a choice. Get an education, don't get pregnant, and make sure you can support yourself. THAT way, you can be with a man who treats you well instead of being with just any many to survive.

Couldn't have said it better myself So, when are we going out

[EastTXHunter]

NOW, to touch on what you said.

I agree... Neither my wife nor I will tolerate infidelity. Not that I will kill anyone (now that im older). BUT, that is a one strike deal.

I feel in that situation you broke the bond/agreement, not I. you can explain it to GOD when you get to the gates...

The first guy I caught in my bed was just ejected. #2 was escorted at the end of a Mossberg 935. Not sure I could've taken a 3rd time... She also wrecked 3 vehicles in our 4 years together. 2 after marriage. She would go visit "friends" for weekends who, when I called hadn't seen her. It was toxic but I turned the other cheek and fought for my marriage til she just decided she wanted to move on. I can only hope she never contracted that Clapasyphaherpalitis I wished on her back then...

[flashof1979]

Here's an idea:

How about government not regulating an agreement between consenting adults at all?

I always find it amusing how quickly we accept government intervention into our lives in some areas, but fight to the death to keep government out of other things...

As for the OP - I think that you are over-simplifying the problem. I see what you are getting at, people will tend to take the path of least resistance. And unfortunately divorce is oftentimes that path. However, there are too many different circumstances for a blanket solution like that.

You are right, but I am glad you see my point of the entire post.