What if divorce was NOT an option?

[Pablo Honey]

It's not healthy to raise children in a home where love isn't true. (IMHO)

[Darton]

One of the most common things we hear today is this or something like this
" I was committed, but my spouse was not". Seems too easy of an answer to me to be so common? Committed is "till death do you part". Seems like those that say "committed" sometimes mean "unless your not".

Quick question, have you ever been divorced?

[Playa]

Here's an idea:

How about government not regulating an agreement between consenting adults at all?

I'm good with this in principle but not practice. There has to be some level of government involvement where binding agreements exist between 2 or more people.

I always find it amusing how quickly we accept government intervention into our lives in some areas, but fight to the death to keep government out of other things...

As for the OP - I think that you are over-simplifying the problem. I see what you are getting at, people will tend to take the path of least resistance. And unfortunately divorce is oftentimes that path. However, there are too many different circumstances for a blanket solution like that.

I think that if folks understood how difficult divorce was both in the process and after the fact, they would reconsider it. But in a bad situation, it always looks like the easy answer and solution to their problems. When in fact, its just trading one set of problems for another.

I began the divorce process last summer. I had no idea how terribly brutal it was. In retrospect, most of the divorced people I knew who told me how great life was after divorce, were looking at their lives through rose colored glasses. They were as miserable if not more so after divorce than before. They just wanted others to jump in the divorce pool with them, so they weren't there alone. Pride did not allow them to admit their mistake. Ironically, Id say in most situations, it was pride that caused their marriages to fail.

My thoughts FWIW

[TX_Phil]

Here's an idea:

How about government not regulating an agreement between consenting adults at all?

I always find it amusing how quickly we accept government intervention into our lives in some areas, but fight to the death to keep government out of other things...

As for the OP - I think that you are over-simplifying the problem. I see what you are getting at, people will tend to take the path of least resistance. And unfortunately divorce is oftentimes that path. However, there are too many different circumstances for a blanket solution like that.

Hmm...something to consider here.
Do you see marriage as a man made institution or religious?

In my case it is religious. To me it is a man and woman standing before God declaring their love and devotion to each other and asking for Gods blessings. I know a lot (probably most) folks don't see it this way and that's fine, we can each have our on views and still get along.

If there was no man made institution called marriage then the whole same sex marriage discussion goes away as well I guess.

Of course the other side of this coin is what would happen if the traditional approach to marriage went away? Honestly I think we already know the answer. We have multiple generations in our society today that have no idea who their father was. I don't think we need go further down that path!

[BrandonA]

If it weren't for my daughter I would have to say with out doubt the absolute best thing to ever happen to me.

[MassMan]

One of the most common things we hear today is this or something like this
" I was committed, but my spouse was not". Seems too easy of an answer to me to be so common? Committed is "till death do you part". Seems like those that say "committed" sometimes mean "unless your not".

Would you rather they off their spouse to fulfill the till death do us part?

[SmTx]

Hmm...something to consider here.
Do you see marriage as a man made institution or religious?

In my case it is religious. To me it is a man and woman standing before God declaring their love and devotion to each other and asking for Gods blessings. I know a lot (probably most) folks don't see it this way and that's fine, we can each have our on views and still get along.

If there was no man made institution called marriage then the whole same sex marriage discussion goes away as well I guess.

Of course the other side of this coin is what would happen if the traditional approach to marriage went away? Honestly I think we already know the answer. We have multiple generations in our society today that have no idea who their father was. I don't think we need go further down that path!

Holy Matrimony v Marriage.

[Bily Lovec]

It's not healthy to raise children in a home where love isn't true. (IMHO)

yup.
you never stay together "for the kids" its worse on them than divorce.

[LemmeOut]

Wasn't it in the vow that says till death do us apart?

Yeah but those silly things weren't updated with the laws that apparently made divorce easier to achieve.

[flashof1979]

Quick question, have you ever been divorced?

Darton I understand your question.
Yes some people say it is easy to say this not being divorced before. I disagree 100%!!! It is not easy saying this. A healthy marriage is not always easy. It is the hard work put into the marriage to build the proper foundation that makes it "look" easy from the outside view.

[flashof1979]

Yeah but those silly things weren't updated with the laws that apparently made divorce easier to achieve.

LemmeOut you have an ironic name for someone in a marriage conversation.

[TX_Phil]

My wife and I will celebrate 50 married years[ to each other]this year. as stated above we went thru a long period of counceling prior to our commitment to each other.. and agreed {it was for the long haul] before we said I do ,and I will....there were a few times that I wished we had an escape clause in those vows ,but we worked thru them and have been happy...

Congrats on making 50 years.

Without a doubt more than once I've found myself wishing for that escape clause as well. If you asked my wife I'm sure she would say the same. Probably even more so. As long as we remember to put the other before ourselves we stand a good chance of working through anything.

[Playa]

LemmeOut you have an ICONIC name for someone in a DIVORCE conversation.

Fixed it for you

[Darton]

Darton I understand your question.
Yes some people say it is easy to say this not being divorced before. I disagree 100%!!! It is not easy saying this. A healthy marriage is not always easy. It is the hard work put into the marriage to build the proper foundation that makes it "look" easy from the outside view.

So, if one partner commits adultery what is the proper action to take in your mind? Forgive and forget? A lot of divorces are the result of such broken vows. Life is way too short to be miserable.

[TX_Phil]

Holy Matrimony v Marriage.

Dang... Wish I'd have remembered that when I was typing my reply!!