I need some good jokes about engineers...

[Lafitte23]

What's the difference between a Civil Engineer and a Mechanical engineer?

A Mechanical Engineer designs planes, missiles and bombs.
A Civil Engineer designs targets.

That's good stuff.

[HELLRAZOR]

^^^^

[Capuchin Monkey]

i work with a couple of engineers that are jokes.

[Part-Timer]

i work with a couple of engineers that are jokes.

x2

[Wack-n-Stack]

Maybe you could make fun of the fact that they will always have to pay more taxes than you!
Sorry, I'm an engineer. Liking the jokes though.

[John Galt]

Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their butts are interchangeable."
Fifth surgeon said, "I like Engineers...they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."

[Punkin]

Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their butts are interchangeable."
Fifth surgeon said, "I like Engineers...they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."

^^^ lmao

[Sippy]

just get em with an old fashion knock knock joke...

knock, knock.
whose there?
cash.
cash who?
cashew? i thought you were a walnut!!

lmao haha get a kick out of it everytime.

i loled

[The "Juan" 12]

^^ knock knock jokes are always fun! lol

[Texastaxi]

The assignment given to a group of engineers was to measure the height of a flagpole. They gathered the ladders and tape measures and headed to the flagpole to carry out their task. They weren't having much luck though, since they kept dropping the tape measures and falling off the ladders.
Observing what they were attempting to do, a designer approached them and offered to help. He pulled the flagpole out of the ground, laid it down flat, measured it from one end to the other, gave the measurements to one of the engineers and walked away.
After the designer had gone, one of the engineers turned to the others and said, "Well isn't that just like a designer. We're looking for the height of the flagpole and he gives us the length."

[The "Juan" 12]

^^ lmao tht was funny

[Jaybo31]

The assignment given to a group of engineers was to measure the height of a flagpole. They gathered the ladders and tape measures and headed to the flagpole to carry out their task. They weren't having much luck though, since they kept dropping the tape measures and falling off the ladders.
Observing what they were attempting to do, a designer approached them and offered to help. He pulled the flagpole out of the ground, laid it down flat, measured it from one end to the other, gave the measurements to one of the engineers and walked away.
After the designer had gone, one of the engineers turned to the others and said, "Well isn't that just like a designer. We're looking for the height of the flagpole and he gives us the length."

BWAHAHAHAHA! Being that I'm a designer thats funny stuff and true

[Oz_Ag]

Well... there's the obvious Aggie Engineer Bonfire jokes... ... ... but I don't recommend it. Not too funny.

I got nothin.

Why even bring it up? Not cool!

[Oz_Ag]

The assignment given to a group of engineers was to measure the height of a flagpole. They gathered the ladders and tape measures and headed to the flagpole to carry out their task. They weren't having much luck though, since they kept dropping the tape measures and falling off the ladders.
Observing what they were attempting to do, a designer approached them and offered to help. He pulled the flagpole out of the ground, laid it down flat, measured it from one end to the other, gave the measurements to one of the engineers and walked away.
After the designer had gone, one of the engineers turned to the others and said, "Well isn't that just like a designer. We're looking for the height of the flagpole and he gives us the length."

Best one yet!

[ruger.45]

•A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! "The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause]

"Hi, George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment.

The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"