Serious question about hunting, kids, and marriage.

[Huntingfool]

Now THIS is a great discussion because it has to do with family - wife and kiddos. So it should stay respectful because all of us fathers and grandfathers just want our kids and grandkids to be happy and turn out happy.

Everyone has a different relationship within their own family with their kids and spouse. End of the day ALL that matters is the amount of time you spend with your family - if it is at a baseball field or deer lease it really does not matter. The important part is simply to spend time with your family and get the kids into activities and not TV, IPAD, Gaming, etc.

I am now a grandfather of 7 grandkids who live where we live. We try to encompass it all - some hunting, some fishing, some sports, and some just hang out together time.

[Trevor73402]

I have to be honest, I’m a little jealous of some of y’all.

[careybirdwell]

Priorities, and if you don't love spending time with your wife & kids as much as you do hunting, then you have the wrong wife, and didn't need to have kids. My priority was setting my daughter up for a great life & future, so anytime it came to helping her versus me hunting or fishing, I always chose my daughter, you only have them a home for a very short time. We helped her with schooling, once she started to make a name for herself in softball, we spent every waking minute at games, practice, lessons. All that ended up with a free 4 year college education, and shes now 26, making over $150K per year, debt free, and has a brilliant future ahead for her, Now that she on her own, I hunted every to every other weekend year round, and generally fishing 3 or 4 times a month. It's not about being PW, it's about handling your responsibilities

[Allpublic]

Great thread OP! Simply put you have 2 types of hunters: (1.) those that love it and (2.) those that like it. Regardless of wife & kids type 1 or 2 determine how much time is spent outdoors.

I agree with this. I don't think it has anything to do with how much you love your family. When your passionate about something you'll find time to do it. I think the wife and kids thing is usually an excuse. My wife and i raised two kids 18 and 20 now, and adopted a 4 yr old, 2 years ago. We both work full time, and yes we did sports and probably will again. I love spending time with my family and we do everything we can as a family, I don't miss any important days. And I still hunt way more than most. It's easier because I live within an hour or so of three different counties where I can hunt public land. But that is not by accident, because I love to hunt.

[Mike D]

Balance, and priorities...I tell my son that the world doesn’t stop for baseball, just like it doesn’t stop for deer season, or school for that matter. We try to do everything fun we can cram into our free time. But in the end, life waits for no hobby, and it’s up to his mother and I what he does and when.

Peer pressure?lol Are we still in middle school?


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Exactly. There’s time to do both.


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[miket]

My ex wife couldnt bear to be away from me so my hunting and fishing fell by the wayside especially once we had kids. I felt it was a sacrifice I had to make for family. Then she decided she didnt mind being away from me and preferred being with someone else. So I had 2 small kids. At that point I had neither time or energy for anything other than survival. Remarried and wife is the opposite, she doesnt mind me being gone, and has been gone herself for several stretches of time in our marriage......that brought a step daughter and another son. Tough to find time with 4 kids, especially when some like hunting/fishing and others dont.

2 oldest kids are 18 and 19 now so that leaves me with a stepdaughter that is completely uninterested and son only slightly interested. So if I go I either drag them unwillingly along or leave them home. Bad situation either way. Cant win.

To sum it up, choice of wife has a huge impact. I chose poorly, repeatedly.

Kids enjoyment of it isnt up to us and affects our ability to go.

My advice is to not remarry and get a vasectomy.

[panhandlehunter]

I also hope and pray that my little girl wants to play softball/sports(not soccer). I played baseball from 5-20 years old and there was nothing I would have rather done. I passed up on fishing, hunting and girls to throw a **** ball. Lol. But if she doesn’t we’ll just go fishing. Lol

[Double-Drop]

I also have several friends that say that can’t go hunting or out of town because of their wife or kids. I guess I just assume the real reason is that their wife won’t let them or will cause a fight. I just don’t get why anyone would want to be married to someone like that. I couldn’t do it. But that’s just me.
I have been married for more than 10 years to a very understanding wife who also prefers being Outdoors over staying at home. She also grew up hunting and has a dad that hunted a ton. We currently have two kids 4 and 6 and although I do spend more time at home than did before they were born but I still manage to be at the ranch working or hunting more than 30 weekends per year. Sometimes my wife and kids go, sometimes they don’t. However, I made sure my wife was well aware how much time I spend outdoors long before we got married because I knew our marriage wouldn’t work if she didn’t understand.

[skinsfan]

I found and married a woman that has grown to love the outdoors almost as much as I do. Out only complaint during deer season is not having a place to hunt more often. We are desperately trying to find land to lease that we can hunt year round that fits what we are looking for. That seems to be harder than anything.


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Kids will more than likely change this.

[Mike D]

In reading some of these posts I’m amazed at how women managed to raise kids “back in the day”. The men were working or farming or whatever all day every day they could and the women and kids did just fine. The greatest generation was part of that.

Women were created to bear, nurture and raise kids. Amazing how we’ve lost sight of that. The reality is fellas, they would be just fine and raise those kids whether we are around or not. I’m not saying as Dads and Grandads that we don’t need to be around because single parenthood is I believe a big part of societal problems today. But you can’t put your life completely on hold when you have a wife and kids. You still have to have your own time and interests as well.

There’s a great podcast about just that subject as well as others.

Orderofman.com


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[skinsfan]

Works is a big part of this as well, I travel 25% of the year so I feel like it is not fair to my wife and kids to come home and turn around and leave again. I have two children, a 6 month old and a four year old, loading them up and driving 3 hours to hunt is a lot of work. On top of thos excuses we have soccer/t-ball and church on the weekends. I’m exhausted just thinking about next weeks schedule lol. I think the guy who said there is a difference in folks that like and live to hunt is very true! I like to hunt, I love to spend Saturday night watching movies and eating takeout with my wife and little ones!

[Dale Moser]

I was speaking in generalities. Not living through them in the least, just trying to instill a love of the outdoors in them that will last a lifetime.


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You were painting with a broad brush...about something you don’t know anything about...a bunch of folks trying to instill a love of a great game, and teach their kids valuable lessons about being part of a team, overcoming obstacles, and working hard to be successful. Lessons that will last then a lifetime, and apply to all aspects of their lives.

All about balance. Playing ball doesn’t mean you can’t kill deer, catch fish, float the river, etc.


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[Shane]

I absolutely LOVE hunting. I don't just like it. It's a way of life for me.

But there is no question that I love my wife and family a million times more. I'd give up hunting for the rest of my life, if that's what I needed to do to benefit my wife and family.

[bphillips]

I have been on both sides.

For a few years having wife and kids kept me from going hunting quite often. During that time I was working away from home 300+ days a year while my wife stayed home with kids 1.5yr apart. Instead of hunting all my days off during season I went to maybe 1/4 of that time or less. If I would have stayed hunting the same it wouldn't have been a "lifestyle" it would have been a **** move. She deserved time off same as me.

Now I am home everyday from work and hunt as I please and hear very little about it. That includes traveling on pretty big trips.

[skinsfan]

In reading some of these posts I’m amazed at how women managed to raise kids “back in the day”. The men were working or farming or whatever all day every day they could and the women and kids did just fine. The greatest generation was part of that.

Women were created to bear, nurture and raise kids. Amazing how we’ve lost sight of that. The reality is fellas, they would be just fine and raise those kids whether we are around or not. I’m not saying as Dads and Grandads that we don’t need to be around because single parenthood is I believe a big part of societal problems today. But you can’t put your life completely on hold when you have a wife and kids. You still have to have your own time and interests as well.

There’s a great podcast about just that subject as well as others.

Orderofman.com


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Maybe they didn’t work 40+ a week. I could never work the hours I do and care for both of my children and I will NOT ask my wife to.