Small tips for life..I'll go first

[RustyRanchero]

If you ever get a flat tire, take a picture of it. You can always use it down the road as an emergency excuse.

[salth2o]

Never trust a fart after a night of beer and spicy food.

[quarterback]

Always check the roll before taking care of your morning business.

[Philip-TX]

don't p into the wind

[j944]

Don't eat yellow snow.

For marriage: Begin with the end in mind and choose your battles.

[MisterB]

Life is like a BM. If you don't wipe butts you have to put with crap all day.

[Puddle Duck]

Don't pee uphill and never ever fry bacon naked

[Abcdj]

You didn't sign your birth certificate

Your not going to sign your death certificate

Don't sign much in between

[sharkhunter]

1) After 40 buy dark colored undershorts.

2) Never talk or ask about past lovers with your partner.

3) Live within your means.

4) Never track a deer until you have waited a solid hour or more.

[miket]

If you ever get a flat tire, take a picture of it. You can always use it down the road as an emergency excuse.

Don't ever lie, it will catch up with you!

[sailor]

Don't think, your the smartest guy in the room...
Even if your alone......

[boy wonder]

If you're the smartest guy you know, find new friends

[Felix40]

...

[orlybow]

Slow down faster

[Hogmauler]

Remember, if your gonna be ignorant you better be tough.