Clean jokes please?

[Tubby]

Where do you find a dog with no legs?













Right where you left him!

[progater]

How can you tell if a Tennessee redneck is married?
There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.


What do they call reruns of Hee Haw in Tennessee? A documentary.
What do they call them in Kentucky? Life styles of the rich and famous.


Did you hear that the Governor's mansion in Nashville burned down?
Yep, pertinear took out the whole trailer park.


A Tennessee State Trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?"
The driver says, " 'bout what"?


Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive"
The operator asked "Can you spell that for me?"
There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak St. and you pick her up there?"

[yazoomike]

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?" The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?! Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD?!" The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time!" "GOD is missing, and they think WE did it

[D C]

Megans favorite joke of all time..


What did the fish say when it hit the wall?

Dam.

[Twztid]

This was on 2 1/2 men:

You know girls with big breasts work at hooters right?
Where do girls with only one leg?


Ihop...... still makes
Me laugh

[Tex21]

My neice told me this one and remember she is die hard A&M fan.

How many Aggies does it take to screwin a lightbulb?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
They dont know because thats an upper level course.

[canny]

Clean joke of the day....There are no deer in East Texas!

[canny]

And another....

Not long after God created Adam that Adam began to get lonely.

So one day he asked god to make him some company.

God said I shall make you another person and we shall call her woman. Then he asked Adam what do you want her to be like.

Adam replied, "I want her to be caring, comforting, a good cook, and never nag or complain about the things I do". How much will that cost me?

God replied that will cost you an arm and a leg

Adam replied, "Well what can I get for a rib"

And the rest is history.......

[ksebesta23]

After 30 years of marriage a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her, then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K". She asks, "What does that mean"? He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous & Hot". She smiled and said, "Oh, that's sweet, but what about 'I, J, K' "? He said, "I'm Just Kidding' ". His eye is still swollen, but it will get better ...

[Txmusfan]

I once read that smoking was bad for you, so I stopped smoking....
I once read that drinking was bad for you, so, I stopped drinking....
I once read that sex was bad for you, so, I stopped reading.

[garfish]

Boudreau and Clarence live on opposite sides of the bayou, and hated
each other. One day the state came out and built a bridge across the
bayou, and Boudreau's wife said, hey, since you hate Clarence so bad,
why don't your jus get yousef over dat bridge and whup him?

Boudreau said, I tink I do dat, and he start across the bridge, then
about halfway across Boudreau turned around and came back. His wife
said why you come back I thought you was gonna whup ol Clarence?

Boudreau says, I think he too big for me to whup. The sign on dat bridge
say CLEARANCE TEN FEET, man, I didn't tink dat cajun dat big.

[jferg33]

What did the snail say when he took a ride on the turltes back?




WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

[Speedgoat]

So this guy walks in to a bar and sees a @*&% sitting in the corner. He says hey @*&% why are you sitting here all by yourself wearing that rediculous hat? @*&% says, "because I dont have a **&%$#@ to put my @#$%^&* in at the present moment". The guy was in shock and could not believe what he had heard and then looks around to see if anyone else was listening and realized that this was a @#$%^&* $%^ Bar and that he was wearing training wheels!! LOL

[Thumper]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=RY8YeLErbEg

[TheoA]

Thanks guys, that was great fun