never good enough for him

[shaft]

tell him if he wont aknowledge your achivements so far,you,ll get a new father!!

[neskora]

Hey man. Hope everything works out for the best with you and your pops. Wouldn't trade the relationship with my dad for anything, but my girlfriend doesn't really have one with hers, and that's something she battles with as well. I encourage you, as I do her, to go to him and tell him how you feel. Now don't be too lubby dubby, or confrontational. Just let him know you love him, and that you feel like you can't succeed in his eyes. Ask for his support. And if he doesn't react with the preferred reaction, take it on the chin, and go to your Father up in heaven. He will always be there for you. Best of luck to you with this, and my prayers are definitely with you.

[Insman]

Man, I've been there and felt that exact way. All them old farts are like that! You got a lot of great advice from your/our friends here on the green screen. Keep on working hard and set goals for yourself and not others. In the long run thing will work their way out. I hope one day you end up with a relationship like me and my old man have. Keep following Gods path amigo...

[cosmiccowboy]

Juan,

Been there done that. Just because you do not hear him say it does not mean it is not said to others. I too struggled with this my entire life. Always working my tail off to make sure my Dad was proud of me and what I did. I am sure there were times I did the "Stupid" things that he would just shake his head and say "What are you thinking?"
But I did find out later, after he passed away that there are many people that heard him say how proud he was of me and what I do/did.

My advice to you is take everything he has taught you and use it each and everyday to better yourself.
Please yourself and you will please your father. This is just my opinion, but one I truely believe as I have lived it. You have to please yourself and make yourself proud and everyone around you will be proud of you as well..

You do sound like a Stand Up Guy, continue that and you will succeed in life. With that success, you will find that everyone will WANT to be around you and each person will be proud of you, even you Dad.

Love him and let him know how you feel. Like it was stated before, sometimes the men of that generation do not speak the words we want to hear, but if you "LISTEN" to what they are saying, it is there.

Hang in there brother. It will all work out.
God Bless..

X2

My dad was the same way. All I got in person was criticism and NEVER a "good job, I'm proud of you". He was also apparently incapable of saying "I love you". At the same time, I would hear from other people how he bragged on my accomplishments (almost to the point of embarrassment).

I started gorilla warfare. I will walk right up to him and give him a big hug and say I LOVE YOU!. At first he would kind of clear his throat and mumble but after about 20 years he's actually gotten to where he can say the words back to me

[Cajun Blake]

my suggestion.....


print out your original post and let your dad read it

if you do this, please let us know how he reacts... i'm betting he has a change of heart

[The "Juan" 12]

first off, i just wanna say thanks to all of you who took the time to read my vent and how i feel. it means alot. ive read each and every post reply on here and in one way or another it has helped me bring my chin and get through my day. i will admit a couple tears came to my eyes reading alot of the replys. i didnt realize how much yall care abt yalls fellow TBHers. glad to see there is still great people her in this world. i texted my sister today and asked, "do you think dad will ever open up to me and tell me hes proud of me?" and her reply was, "he always tells us and other people he is ALWAYS PROUD when speaking abt you! just cuz he may not tell you doesnt mean he isnt, I KNOW FOR A FACT YOU HAVE ME HIM PROUD WITH FOOTBALL." when i read tht text, i felt so much weight lift off my shoulders. just happy to hear tht from my big sis. i guess what im gettin at is that i feel alot better after reading that text from my sister. however i wont stop there, piece by piece i will talk to my dad until i get him to fully understand me, and see what i go through everyday. once again, i just wanna thank all of yall who took the time to reply and make sure i felt better, nothing is better than having a bunch of guys/gals take the time to listen to someone they might not even know. till the next time..

leo

[Joe H]

go rent the movie "8 seconds". Watch it with your Dad. When its over tell him sometimes you feel like Lane and his Dad. Let the conversation flow from there.

[irvingbowhunter]

hey juan...going to try to put a sports spin on this cause i, like you, played football....your dad is your coach for life...we all know how coaches push and push you hard so that the ultimate goal is met...success...it s not about the score, its making sure if you have left everything out on the field...but also realize that thinking back at my coaches method of coaching: weeks after wins, we were pushed harder so that complacement would not set in, but weeks after loss, which were few and far between, he was there to pick us up....you strike me as one who is winning in the game of life...not wishing you a "loss" but one thing is for sure...he s going to be there for you the week after the loss.......you got some real good advice for the bowhunting brotherhood...just trying to put a sport spin on it....good luck bro....keep your head up

[Jakesfish]

ok here goes from a OLD-GUY.... never quit what your doing, he may not be able to say it... BUT...!!! You make sure you do the right thing and keep trying... sounds to me as a father, you would make a dad proud... congrats by the way of what you have accomplished so far in life.....


And if you need a surogate DAD...lol... look me up...

[Stuck]

Your relationship will change as you grow. I know what you feel like your missing something with him that you see your friends have with their fathers and long to feel like you've made him proud, which thankfully your sister has let you know you have. You will look back on this time in your life and thank him for preparing you for life. I had alot of the same feelings and questions at your age and at 37 life would have a hard time kicking me hard enough to keep me down. Enjoy him for who he is and cherish every minute with him. He's the only and best one you have.

[Tommyh]

While hoping to get his acceptance, youre going to need to learn that one day, youre going to have to do what you want, and it may or may not align with his wishes. The ultimate person you need to satisfy, besides the obvious Man in charge of us all, is yourself. As long as you are true to your dreams and aspirations, you'll be much happier and satisfied.

[Johnny]

Wow, powerful thread. I don't even remember the last time my dad said 'I Love You' to me or the last time we hugged. Probably when I was 6 or 7 and I'm almost 35 now. This thread opened my eyes to a lot, that's for sure.

[flufster]

my dad was same way....then i had kids and he did a complete turn around

time will fix a lot of things you are writing about, give it time

[WCB]

I never had a Dad that I knew. He lived 30 miles away and I maybe saw him 5 or 6 times in my life. It "can" be worse...
Just be the best man you can be and the rest will fall into place.

[bboswell]

I'm hoping this thread is much an eye opener for us Fathers as it is help for Juan. There is a fine line between pushing your kids to excel and making them feel inadequate...sure hope I'm doin it right!