One Liners?

[Texas Grown]

If you are agitated and confused, my work here is done.

[Electrican]

I didn't mean to push your buttons. I was just looking for mute.

Proceed with caution with this one..I’ve dodged a few things launched my direction a time or two.

[Texas Grown]

Don't confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.

[Texas Grown]

Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a Super Power.

[Texas Grown]

I LOVE sarcasm. Without it, I'd really have to pretend to like a lot of people.

[Lynn21]

It ain’t who you know, it’s who you snow.

[ItsLeo]

Nothing is foolproof for a sufficiently talented fool.

[Froggy]

She looks so hot even my wife would be proud if I brought her home.

[Chance Love]

Don't confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.

One of my favorites!

[SaltwaterSlick]

Dang Mr. Berry, dem's some good 'uns!! U been holdin' out on us way too long!

[Goldeneagle]

It ain’t who you know, it’s who you snow.

That ain't how it goes.

[solocam_aggie]

That boy aint scared of work....he'll sit right beside it.

[Blane]

My fathers line growing up:

A young man will fight you, an old man will hurt you.

[Whistle brtches]

Police officer: sir have you been drinking tonight? Driver: why is there a fat chick in my back seat?

[elgato]

Nursing home conversation:

What do you think about sex?

Infrequently.
Is that one word or two?