Whelp, my turn....

[andre3k]

Respectfully disagree. It's my opinion that the minute you decide to have kids, you voluntarily forfeit "I deserve to be happy".
Unless the intact marriage is harmful to the kids, figure out how to make it work.
We're a lost society. Divorce is the ultimate proclamation of adults that says "my happiness and well being is more important than my children."
This comes from a divorced dad of two.

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You're painting with a broad brush on that one. While that advice might fit some situations it certainly doesn't apply to all.

OP. Take time to think this through and honestly spend time and weigh out all options before filing.

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[eradicator]

Everyone deserves to be happy. You can't make anyone happy if you're not. Sure, you can "fake it". But I'm of the opinion that putting on a veneer of happiness doesn't suit anyone involved. An intact unhappy marriage will by extension harm kids. Can things be worked out? Sure, IF both parties are into trying. There are far too many variables to say that divorce is a proclamation that the adult's happiness is more important. Far too generalized of a statement. I do realize that sometimes it's the case, but often time it is not. And kids aren't dumb, they know when things aren't right.

There's no easy answer, but responsibility comes to mind. We don't know the whole story. Praying for the kids and everyone involved.

[Graysonhogs]

There's no easy answer, but responsibility comes to mind. We don't know the whole story. Praying for the kids and everyone involved.

Yes, you are responsible to do the right thing. Definitely no one size fits all. Don't wish it on anybody.

[jer_james]

Respectfully disagree. It's my opinion that the minute you decide to have kids, you voluntarily forfeit "I deserve to be happy".
Unless the intact marriage is harmful to the kids, figure out how to make it work.
We're a lost society. Divorce is the ultimate proclamation of adults that says "my happiness and well being is more important than my children."
This comes from a divorced dad of two.

I understand what you're saying, but bickering and unhappiness are not what I would want my kids around at all. If you conduct yourself with respect and maintain a positive outlook then those kids wont suffer one bit.

Two happy parents living good lives and working together for the betterment of the kids should be paramount. That's a great example no matter how you want to choose to look at it.

[bowhunterhelm]

30 years, yikes!

Best of luck to both of yall, sometimes separating is the best thing.

[eradicator]

I understand what you're saying, but bickering and unhappiness are not what I would want my kids around at all. If you conduct yourself with respect and maintain a positive outlook then those kids wont suffer one bit.

Two happy parents living good lives and working together for the betterment of the kids should be paramount. That's a great example no matter how you want to choose to look at it.

Don't disagree, but we aren't there yet........

[Farmdog]

Sad deal

[meltingfeather]

Read the book Children of Divorce before you pop bottles in your bachelor pad.

[Laketex]

I tried for years to do everything I could to save my marriage mainly for the kids. I was one of apparently the remaining few that really believed it meant forever and if you have issues you just work it out. I would have never nuked it, in large part because of the kids. I tried until her actions left no other option. And still got, and am getting shafted. Yours is a little different since your kids are not so young.

Good luck, hopefully it all works out for you and you have great lawyers.

This, x1000. Still got divorced and everything is a dogfight as far as the kid is concerned. We are on opposite ends of the spectrum on everything and nothing is easy. If you seriously think you can ride off into the sunset while sharing custody, you are in for a hard and rude awakening. If you plan to fight for your kids, you'll be in a fight often with the ex. And you get to see her at every activity, every birthday party, every sports game. Even after 18, you still get to see her at the big events, she will never be out of your life. My advice to you is to fight hard for your marriage and dig in. The grass is interesting on the other side, but it's not better and there's bigger mudholes over on that range.

[Graysonhogs]

Read the book Children of Divorce before you pop bottles in your bachelor pad.

Also watch a Snapped marathon


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[Tcooper93]

OP…. You’ve been married since 1992. Reading your post I’m going to assume that you’ve done all you could do to save the marriage like all the Dr. Phils in this post have already suggested you do now. I’m also going to assume the month you speak of has just been the final straw that broke the camels back and the decision to file, not just a month of bad marriage. Sounds like it’s been a pretty toxic relationship if I’m reading into it correctly. If you have and are comfortable with your effort in saving it, I can understand you finally breaking free from the misery and looking forward to a better life. The one thing I have learned from TBH is don’t listen to anybody that’s not walking in your shoes. They can shoot from the hip and Dr. Phil you to death, but until they’ve suffered the daily beat down and walked in your shoes, it’s nothing but an opinion. Life is too short to be flippin’ miserable. If you’ve put in the effort and it’s not working, it’s time to move on. Good luck

Great post and sage advice. This is why I don't post a lot about my life on any forum. You get amateur therapists that second guess everything you are doing and saying. OP, I have been in your shoes. Not saying I did everything right in my marriage (far from it) but hang in there. It gets better.

[Quackerbox]

I laughed, and knew exactly who he was referring to.

Lmao!!!

I'm glad someone caught smart in the edit! Of course I knew who I was referring to. As usual, all in good fun

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[Snowflake Killa]

To piggy back off Dr. Bbq-coontrap.....I know a gal who's husband had been cheating on her for almost 10 years with about 8 different women. She has pictures, video and hotel records. She won't file

She still spent the afternoon with him and thier grandkids the other day.

Most of the people she works with have NO idea what's been going on. You may never know

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Now that **** is funny [emoji16]

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[Smart]

Lmao!!!

I'm glad someone caught smart in the edit! Of course I knew who I was referring to. As usual, all in good fun

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I missed an edit....

[RWB]

Man I wish some of yall "stay married no matter what and make it work" boys had been married to my ex. Might have a different opinion