KMack's Camp Stories & Misc. Ramblings

[kmack]

My first deer!

I've been trying to keep some sort of sequencialness to these stories so that it might have some of sort of yearly flow to it all. Well, F-that!

My brain just doesn't work that way sometimes, so you get the stories as they come into my head!

The year after my first dove hunt (remember that one?), I got an invite to go hunting from Allen Wurzbach, a guy I worked with at Alamo Iron Works. Allen had a piece of property in Rio Medina (think Castroville area) and he had a bunch of does he wanted to get some control over. Of course I said yes!

This was shortly after Joe had got me started shooting black powder in some of the Mountain Man competitions. I was getting better with the Hawken .50 cal he was letting me use, but I was still pretty green. But what the heck, I'd give it a try!

This would be the first time Joe and I sat in a blind together. Heck this would be the first time I'd ever sat in a blind!

We put out some road corn, climbed up into the blind Allen said would have the best luck, and we settled into the long wait....

Sometime around 9:30 that morning, we finally started seeing some action. The heavy fog that morning didn't help. A couple spikes and a small 8 at first, but bucks were off limits for this hunt. Finally, some does started coming into view!

We glassed for a few minutes and I finally decided which one I would take. Joe was sitting on my right side and was giving me directions, then finally, "Take the shot when you're ready..."

WHOMP

The coolest thing I like about old-school black powder (patch & ball) is how it slowly kicks you in the shoulder! Like someone punching you in the shoulder in slow motion. No kick, just a solid push. And the smell of burning black powder has become intoxicating!

First thing Joe asked, Did you hit her?"

"Really? Joe, I saw 12'" of flame come out the barrel, and there's still smoke lingering in the air! I don't know if I hit her or not!"

Joe was always a bit of a smart-arse!

About a minute for the smoke to clear, and there was a dead doe lying in the road exactly where I took the shot. She crumbled.

To say I was excited, would be an understatement! I was shaking! I almost fell out of the blind trying to climb down. But Joe stopped me and said we needed to wait and give her some time to make sure she expired. Seconds seemed like minutes. Minutes seemed like hours. C'mon already!!!!!

During this time, Joe made a comment about the shot. Something about how I blasted shrapnel into his face.

If you've ever shot an old-school black powder rifle with patch & ball, then you'll know a little about what I'm talking about here. Apparently, the primer cap can be prone to separating as it fires. With Joe on my right, the cap had split, sending little pieces of metal into his cheek. He was actually sitting pretty close to me. He laughed it off, and just smiled as I made my way to my first deer on the ground. I was like a twenty-something-year-old kid at Christmas!!!

No big-game trophy by any stretch, but she cleared 70 lbs field-dressed! Open sights at 85 yds! I was so happy I wanted my shoulder mount right then.

Just like previous girlfriends, you never forget your first!

[cm12setx]

Very good stories. Thank you for sharing this with us.

[kmack]

The wall-mount Axis

There is however one hunting date that I will forever remember and the date has been etched into my mind permanently: November 6, 2004.

This is the weekend of the best and most memorable hunt of my life that I was able to share with Joe. He ragged on me pretty good during this hunt, but I know he was sharing the love of it all in his own way.

Cooper-Maxwell Ranch, Leakey TX

So, one of my neighbors, turned good friends has family land in Leakey. Dan had found out that I possess some (but limited) welding skills. He and his friend James, who is now one of my very good friends and current lease member/hunting buddy, both lived a couple houses down from me in the same neighborhood. They wandered up to the house one weekend as I was working on a project car in the garage. A conversation struck up about getting some racks welded onto the ranch golf carts, and a longtime friendship soon followed.

Next thing I know, I've been invited to a weekend-long work/hunting trip on the 1,400 acre family ranch! More such similar weekends soon followed, and then Joe got to tag along on hunts.

This one weekend I was given the green light to take any Axis buck I saw.

That particular evening, I decided I'd sit in the tri-pod stand that was setup on the banks of the Frio River. There was a pasture on the opposite side that the Axis herds were know to run along. The tripod faced almost due West.

Joe had decided to hunt a blind that was a couple hundred yards away from me, so he dropped me off and took the golf cart to his stand.

During this time of my hunting career, I was exclusively hunting with black powder. Joe had already given me the Great Plains .50 cal rifle and that was my only hunting rifle. Made for a good challenge. So with my bag of BP tools, powder, balls, patches, etc., I made my way out to the tri-pod and settled in for the evening hunt.

As the sun was going down against the hill top in front of me, I watched along the grassy bank of the far side of the river. Just as I realized the sun was right in my eyes, I thought I saw what looked like branches moving. Sure enough, it was the antlers of an Axis buck along with 10 Axis does that were coming down the bank.

My Great Plains .50 cal rifle has a 32" barrel on it and can get pretty heavy when not supported well. Shooting off-hand is a talent in of itself! The tri-pod had a rest, but being so close to the shooting position, it wasn't much help. I slowly raised the gun into position, checked my primer, pulled the hammer back, set the set-trigger, and waited....

The second I saw the Axis buck's body, I twitched my finger and the gun exploded! WHOMP Then a big puff of smoke!

Unfortunately, all I saw were antlers running off in the opposite direction they had come from...

A few seconds after my horrible shot, I heard foot-steps coming up quickly behind me. I turned and saw Joe trotting down the trail coming up to the tri-pod. As he reached the stand, out of breath, he asked "Did you hit him?"

"Really, Joe?!?! I saw smoke and him running off! I doubt I connected!"

"Well...." He quickly looked down towards the ground as his voice trailed off.

Then he slowly raised his head and a big grin appeared on his face.

He said, "I called my hunt off early as there wasn't anything moving, so I drove down here and sat in the golf cart a little ways back and was glassing the river bank just as the Axis showed up. You sure took forever to take the shot! Thought I was going to have to shoot for you!"

He continued, "When you finally pulled the trigger, I saw the shot. I saw the impact! You hit him for sure!"

A soon as Joe said those words, my blood pressure shot up and my heart started racing! I had thought for sure that I hadn't connected. This had been the biggest Axis buck I had seen yet on this property. I was devastated thinking I had missed. Now I had hope...

We took the golf cart back up to the main house to get my truck as the carts weren't big enough to make it across the river at that time. Driving back across the river, we found blood and tracked it to a small patch of cedars. We found the buck bedded down next to a tree, and then backed off to let him sit an expire.

Seconds seemed like minutes, Minutes seemed like hours...C'mon already!!!!

But I was finally able to retrieve my wall hanger!!!


We spent that night in a continuous celebratory mood! Everyone was happy, we all had good drinks, we all slept well. The perfect weekend!

And I have the memory hanging above my fireplace...

[kmack]

Lynden's 1st hunts - the making of a huntress!

Since I'm still up and still have some beer in the fridge, I'll keep telling stories!

My daughter, Lynden, has been deer hunting now since '08 when she was 10 yrs old. I had often wondered if she would even get involved at all.

For her 6th birthday, she got her first rifle, a .22 single-shot bolt action. She was all smiles!

The same year when dove season rolled around, Joe thought it'd be good idea to bring her along and she how things went. So, we made plans...

The wives made sure we had a talkin-to before hand! Kerri made sure to point the finger at both us and to tell us that, "This trip is not about you two! If she starts getting bored, you cut it short and head home! Do you both understand me?"

Yes. ma'am!"

My concern was always how much of a girly-girl Lynden truly was. So we put her in some camo and put her in her booster seat in the truck and headed out to a property out by Mission, TX for some dove hunting. 4 o'clock in the afternoon and we get set up. After about an hour, the fun starts.

Every time a gun would go off, Lynden would look at me and ask, "Was that you or Grandpa?"
We'd point to where the bird dropped, and like a budding bird-girl that she was, she find it and bring it back!

She ran for 2 hours that afternoon picking up every bird that was dropped. And she loved every minute of it!

Until....

"Dad, I think this bird is still alive!"

(Oh, cr@p! I think I remember a story similar to this....)

"What do we do now?"

"Well Cutie, here's what we're supposed to do..."

And so I had to have THAT conversation. I thought her hunting world was about to crumble, with tears falling, and waling to ensue.

But, wait...could it be? Maybe?

She just stood there and stared at the dying bird in her hands. Then this slow and quiet question came out...

"Dad, can I ask a question?"

"Sure, Cutie!"

"Can I poke its eye?"



"Uuuuuhhhhhh, I guess?"

She walked off a few feet away from me and proceeded to stick her little finger in the poor birds eye! Multiple times!

A few minutes later, she handed me a dead bird, smiled, and ran off to get the next one.

Huh...maybe it's not so bad....





Deer Camp

A few years later and she has started to accompany me out to the deer lease in Comfort, Tx to sit in the blind and just watch the deer and to get used to sitting there doing not much of anything. We had already spent some time in the blinds and had come to the realization that Comfort deer really don't care if you make a lot of noise. Heck, Lynden had been yelling at some of them and they barely even cared!

Anyway, Joe and Lynden and myself show up one Saturday morning (after the morning hunt) just to hang out and spend some time in the blind. As we pulled up, we notice there's a deer already hanging at the cleaning station. Skinned, but not yet quartered.

I tell Lynden that we will be talking with the guys and standing close to the dead deer, so if she feels uncomfortable she can run off and play near the cabin, just don't go too far.

Joe and I start the familiar asking of deer camp questions, and before long I realize that Lynden is not stuck to my side. I looked around for a minute, then I nudged Joe in the side and pointed....

As we had been talking, Lynden had made her way to the deer and was slowly examining it. She had her hands on the meat, and was trying to look up inside the chest cavity. She already had blood on her hands!

I looked and Joe and said, "We ain't got nuthin to worry about!!!"

[kmack]

...The Huntress (cont.)

Fast forward to December 2008, and it's Lynden's first official (going to pull the trigger herself) deer hunt weekend!
10 yrs old and she's already on her 2nd rifle, now a Rossi .223/20ga convertible single-shot rifle. And she's dead-on with it too!

We've had her at the range and at the lease shooting and the girl is holding groups like you won't believe!



Her first hunt was Friday evening on 12/6/08. I had a video camera with me (or course) since this was a monumental occasion!
She pulled the trigger on a doe and the deer flipped over and dropped right there. Then flipped and flopped. Then stayed still for quite awhile.

About the time we were getting out of the blind, the doe jumped up and ran off!
We never found blood or the deer, and after watching the video multiple times, could not tell why this doe was not still on the ground!
The shot dang near flipped the doe completely over! 85 yds with a .223 and it looked clean as can be.

To say the least, Lynden was disappointed. I was scared. Scared that this was another time that would stain her thoughts on hunting.
But we struggled thru it, and went out the next morning for the next hunt - 12/7/08.

Now mind you, Lynden had some camo already from previous dove seasons, but this was December in the Hill Country and the temps had dropped.
We didn't have any cold-weather camo for her at all. All we had were some weird-blue sweat pants she liked, a pink puffy jacket, and a multi-colored beanie.
We found a camo fleece jacket that she could wear over her other stuff and prayed like heck that all that would keep her warm!
She stuck out like a miniature pastel-colored clown! (God, I love that kid!)

We sat in the same Creek Blind as we had the evening before and prayed we see some deer.
Eventually, they showed up, and Lynden was offered a shot once more...

I'll let you watch the video of her 2nd hunt of her first deer hunting trip...

And that is how you raise a hunting buddy!!!



Sorry, the pics are so large, but I love this kid so the bigger the better!!!

[Trapper76]

One of the best threads I’ve read in a long time,,, thanks for sharing!!!

[Pstraw]

You hooked me with your dove hunt story. Man, these stories are great and bring your memories to life. Hope you have more to share.

[kmack]

In the stand with The Huntress...

Lynden,
If you're reading these sometime "down the road," I know I've mentioned it before but the times that we've shared in the stands together I will always cherish! Love ya Cutie!

(Where are all these water drops on my keyboard coming from?)

Over the last 13 yrs (as of this writing) of hunts with my daughter, the time with her in a hunting blind has been the absolute greatest times of my life! These have always been "our time." Kerri and I are both really close with Lynden. But not always in the same way. Lynden and I have hunting, and we've never missed a year together.

We've shared countless hours sitting together and talking. We talk about everything and anything. Sometimes serious, but mostly not. Lots of jokes, funny stories, farts, boys, life in general, stories of Boris the Spider (inside joke), whatever. Nothing was ever off the table to discuss. It was always an open, non-judgmental conversation. I have always enjoyed it immensely.

Once such conversation about boys and her lack of dates in HS was extremely entertaining (at least for me). It started off somewhat serious and we talked about the peer-pressure she sort of faced from her friends who had been dating. We talked about how waiting was not a bad thing and that she could go thru this process on her own time and not to try and live up to other's expectations.

I've always said, "Everyone has opinions, but don't let their opinions of you define who you are. You be you."

We eventually started to turn this conversation into a little light-hearted poking fun at each other, so I figured it was time to tell her my thinking on why she hadn't "attracted" any suiters!

For some perspective here, we live in the city limits of San Antonio and Lynden went to a fairly large HS in the NISD area. It is easily considered a city school. But she has a pretty serious country girl attitude nowadays. She would regularly wear camo to school, she was always showing off pictures of hunting successes, guns were always a topic for discussion, and her top gift request for Christmas one year was a set of gutting/skinning knives!

My reasoning for her lack of success with the boys? "I think you intimidate all the boys in your school!"

She looked at me funny and then I explained it to her. They were all city boys and were probably very afraid that if they made her mad, she'd shoot them, gut them, and then hang them on the rack and quarter them!

I got a sarcastic little "Dad..." reply after that!

But I used that time to refresh her memory on what I had said previously about THE CONVERSATION I would have with any guy she started to date regularly.

I had decided long ago on what I would say:
"You're going out with my daughter and that's great. But I want you to know two things:

1) This 3" 12ga Groups shot shell has your name on it. You can see that right here. It will sit here above the fireplace and it will stay right there as long as you are nice and respectful to my daughter. If you f#@k up and hurt her in any way, it's coming after you!

2) It won't be me that will be leading the charge. That's what her two grandfathers and my friends will be doing as a favor to me. You won't see them coming."

Scare tactic? Maybe.
Harboring a little truth in those words? More than you know!

Joe used to always say, that he'd be perfectly happy spending the rest of his life with 3 squares a day, a bed, and free medical care to make sure that "true justice" was served in Lynden's name. My Dad just said he would have help from "friends" also! (I never asked what that really meant, but I had a solid idea!) Both knew of many out-of-the-way places!

"Dad...."

[kmack]

It's MY deer, Joe!

This story has been posted here in the green screen before, but it has to be included here. I will elaborate a little more on it in this version, but the story is still the same.

This story always brings a smile to my face, even when I told it to family immediately after Joe's passing. When he was alive, it was also a favorite of his and mine both.

I've been hunting on the same place in Comfort since January of 2005. Joe hunted with me every year out here until he couldn't walk in 2015 and then he left us in 2016. In 2010, I had decided to run our feeders all year and it was the first year we had cameras up. I was also starting my bow hunting endeavor that same season.

My stand had quite a few bucks coming in steady, and with the camera we got to watch the antlers grow throughout the year. I had what I thought was a great tree stand spot and had sat in it many times throughout the summer.

Over the course of the year one buck stood out. I watched this guy all the way thru velvet and had decided this was the only buck I would hunt that year! Joe got to regularly see the camera pics and we talked about this buck often.

October rolled around and I spent a couple weekends looking for my buck. Unfortunately, he disappeared off the camera a week before the bow opener. I never saw him again.

This is one of the last pics I have of my buck...



November finally came and along with it the gun opener so now Joe was coming out. I still haven't seen the buck in over 4 weeks on the camera. On a Saturday morning I'm in the tree stand waiting...nothing all morning. Joe was in his blind on other side of the property. Later in the morning he sent a text saying, "Buck down. Need help."

So, I start packing everything up and climb down out of the tree. I meet him at the blind and then we head over to the feeder to look for blood.

I was always generally happy when Joe took a deer as he always stated that his true thrill was watching me take a deer and then watching Lynden take a deer. Most years, he would just sit and watch the animals and relay back what he saw so that we could have a shot at them. Kind of like how I've gotten in later years.

So we're at the feeder, it's easy to see the blood trail and I only have to follow it no more than 30 yds...

"What the .... Joe?!? You shot my F-n deer!!!"

I looked at him in disbelief. He just grinned! I stood there shaking my head at him. Admittingly, I let a few cuss words out in his general direction and he just laughed more!

We got back to the cabin and started getting pictures.



Later that day around the campfire, I confessed to him that had it been anyone else on the lease, we would have gone to fighting! But I was legitimately happy for him as it was a solid buck for the Hill Country.

After Joe's passing, Lois asked all the kids what they wanted from the house.

"I want my d@mn deer back!"

Lois laughed. I was serious!

I was happy for the man, but I was still a little hurt that I never got to take the shot.

What better way to take out my frustrations with that entire saga? Make a mount honoring my best friend!

[Buck_jane]

Great thread. Keep the stories coming.

[kmack]

This one time, at band camp...

[kmack]

The Avatar hunt

Ok, so I know y'all are dying to hear the story I mentioned in my first post...

As always, I'll set the stage here with a little background info..

Since I had always started out deer hunting with black powder, I wanted to keep adding an element of challenge to the hunt.
Sort of a way to allow the deer to keep some sort of an edge, and to also make the hunts more meaningful to me.

A longtime friend of mine had given me an old Bear White Tail Hunter II bow and a few aluminum arrows to start playing with.
Then Joe gave me his old bow which was another Bear WT Hunter II but with "custom camo" paint and about 2 dozen aluminum arrows that needed refletching.
I messed around with these two bows for a couple years just getting backyard practice in, but the bows were ultimately too big to really use in a tree setup that I was looking at.

At one point though, I started to think I was a real bad-@$$!
(Although that shot destroyed two of some of my best arrows at the time!)



I eventually found a deal on smaller bow that was more "modern" and that's when I started stepping up my game plan. My bow is now considered old, but it wasn't that old at the time.
I shoot a Hoyt Sierratec with a very light 48# draw weight. I had a hard time drawing anything at 60 lbs or more.
Laugh and say what you want about it, but I'm able to draw that bow so slow that even with a turkey eye-balling me, I never spooked them with my movement.

2010 was going to be the year for me. I just knew it!

My stand setup was in a tree 20 yds from the feeder at my current gun blind setup. This little spot of trees is the only area on the 200 acre Comfort Lease that has Post Oaks for some reason.
But there was some pretty good cover from my spot and I felt it would do good. This is the view from my seat in the tree...



I've always had a barrel feeder hanging in a tree and you can just see it behind some of the branches.
As the leaves would turn and fall, the view would open up a bit better.

The Hunt...

So the day after Joe shot MY deer , I was headed into the tree for another bow hunt and to hopefully stick a deer of my own.
It was slow going and I admit, I fell asleep a few times. Thankfully, my tie-back strap held me in place!

It was a very slow morning.

A little after 9 am, right about when I was going to give up after having been in the tree since 4:30, two small doe wandered in.
I watched as they both milled about and chewed up my corn. It was so cool to be that close and them not know it!

I waited a little longer for one of them to get into a good open spot and with their head down so they wouldn't see me.

Staged at full draw...
Line up my peep...
Slow my breathing, "...stay calm, Ken..."

I flick the release, the arrow flies, and I hear...

PING

"Wait, what?"

Ugh! My heart fell as I knew I had grazed the metal post that my game camera was mounted on.

The deer ran off and the forest was soon quiet once again.

That post and the camera had been there for over a year by this point and we didn't move it because it was cemented in place.
And there was plenty of room for shots as I had practiced from the tree tons of times during the summer.

I was upset, but only at myself. I waited about 30 minutes before I finally climbed down out of the tree.
I was mad, sad, disappointed, and heart-broke all at the same time.
All I wanted to do at that point was find my arrow in the grass and go soak my ego in a bottle of whiskey.

I ended up circling around my feeder for another 30 minutes looking in the dirt & grass for the arrow. I just couldn't find it.
More disappointment as I started to realize that not only had I lost the shot, I'd now lost the arrow, too!

I kept looking back up to the tree trying to gauge the direction of the arrow and then looking at the ground for an impact or trail of flight.
I'd line up the post with the tree, then turn around and look at the ground. Nothing. Not a thing.

It was when I eventually stood between the post and the tree that I looked up and saw this...






Yep! That's an NAP Thunderhead broadhead buried 1/4" into a 1-1/2" dia. steel fence post!

I took off running for my truck...

Getting back up to the hunting cabin, the first question is always: "Did ya shoot something?"

I replied, "You guys gotta come see this!"

I needed to get my digital camera anyway for pics. Otherwise, no one would believe it!

My new nickname became Post Killer! (Although, that has since subsided....some!)

Believe it or not, it actually did take some effort to pull that out of the post.
The tip of the broadhead was not damaged, but the leading edges of the blades had a few nicks. The shaft was a gonner!
How I ended up hitting that post square enough to make that arrow stick, is beyond me.
A little bit to either side and it would have just ricocheted off the post.
True talent right there!

I didn't hunt the rest of that weekend, I just couldn't stop laughing at myself!

[kmack]

That First Date!

I moved to San Antonio in May '92 for an Engineering Internship with Southwest Research Institute (SwRI). 2 days after I moved here, it rained about 6" overnight and flooded the apartment parking lot I was staying at with my roommate, Jeff. Along with both his car and my truck. Great start to a new life adventure...

I was supposed to eventually move to Austin and finish my Engineering degree at UT, but after 3 "lost" transfer applications, I finally gave up and applied to UTSA. (Looking back, one of the best decisions I've ever made.)

Over the course of that summer, Jeff and I worked our butts off but still found a little time to go out. I just didn't meet many people, let alone girls. Jeff's sister, Sam, would come hang out and her friend, Kerri would come too. I thought it interesting that Kerri & Jeff dated and they still hung out (sort of), but it was mostly because of Sam.

The Fall Semester finally started and Jeff and I were in an apartment closer to the University. I was seeing a girl from the dorms and Kerri had some choice words to say about that, for some reason. She basically couldn't believe I would go out with that girl. I told Kerri there didn't seem to be that many single girls around.

"Well, if you're looking for someone to go out with, I'll go out with you!"

Ok...

It was Labor Day weekend and it was supposed to be our first Official Date! We were going with Sam & Nick down to the stables at Brackenridge Park and ride the horses. Sam, Kerri and I were waiting for Nick at the apartment. Hours went by and we hadn't heard anything from him. The morning turned to afternoon, the afternoon started into evening.

Nick finally burst thru the door about 4:30 and was ready to go! But the date at that point was shot. Apparently Nick, being the type he was, didn't have any money. So he spent his afternoon selling plasma for some cash! Real winner... [Nick was also the guy that drove around all winter long and almost got pneumonia because the windows were stuck open on his trashed-out BMW and he couldn't afford to get them fixed. But I digress...]

Plans changed and we decided to just hang out at the apartment, grab some food to go, have some drinks and play some games.

I don't remember what we had for dinner, but it was probably fast food to go.
I do remember a bottle (or two) of Boones Strawberry Hill...
I have a vague recollection of Kerri riding on my back down the hill to the little store for cigarettes. We called the place The Stop & Rob. You can probably guess why.
I think I had a playing card still stuck to my forehead from the game of @$$hole we were playing.
I don't remember going back to the apartment.

But what I do remember comes back as breaks in my memory...
I remember the floor and toilet of my apartment bathroom.
I remember Kerri talking softly to me and rubbing my back as I puked.
I do remember thinking this poor girl was going to avoid me like the plague! Talk about ruining a first date!

The next thing I remember was waking up in my bed the next morning....


...and there was this cute blonde sleeping next to me!

In the famous words of Wayne Campbell: "If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, it was never meant to be."

I was shocked beyond belief!

Over the next couple years, she stayed with me. To this day I'm still in shock that she went out with me after that "first date."

One chilly evening in the Fall of '94 on the viewing deck of the Tower of Americas, I asked her to take my hand in marriage. She said yes!

The rest is history I guess you could say, but we've been making it up as we go!




FWIW, I've never touched another drop of Boones Strawberry Hill since that first date!

[kmack]

Drinking with Joe...It's not a fair fight!

Bottom line, Joe could throw back some alcohol!

He told me a lot later in our relationship that he secretly had a goal to try and drink all of us "kids" under the table.

"Thanks Joe!"



Mixed Drinks

Besides being a long-time gun enthusiast, competition shooter, and hunter, Joe was also into racing cars. He had lots of stories about his time in the 60's and running around in little 2-seaters. So naturally, when I finished my project car, a '71 Datsun 240Z, he suggested we go racing. Autocross style, not drag racing. Kerri wasn't too happy... neither was Lois!

"I'm just going to keep an eye on your Dad!"

Anyway, we ran down in the Valley at the Cameron County Airport with the local Porsche Club of America on the runways. I'd load up my car on the trailer Thursday night, and leave the house Friday morning before 6 am to go to work. I'd leave work at 5 pm just to fight traffic for the 4+ hr drive down to Edinburg. Usually pulling up to Joe & Lois' house around 9:30 if I was lucky.

Joe's first words were always the same... "Glad ya made it Son! Wanna drink?"

Hmmm.... running on 4 hrs of sleep, up since 5 am, long @ss drive... "Sure! Why not!"

Joe had two signature drinks that he liked to make.

One he called the "Annexation of Puerto Rico" and it involved a LOT of Rum. I don't remember the mix very well on that one. Probably a good thing. I've asked Lois about it a couple times in recent years and even she can't remember the mix.

The other I believe was Joe's favorite drink: "The Hungarian @ss-kicker"
This was made of only two things - Tequila & Sangria
(Joe called it by that name because there was a lot of Hungarian background in his family tree.)

Joe always mixed drinks in these plastic tumbler glasses that each held about 30 ounces. He'd fill the glass half full with ice, then half full with Tequila, then the other half was Sangria.

I admit, the Hungarian was pretty good, sweetness of the Sangria with a little kick from the Tequila. (Well, maybe not so little...)

So sitting down in a relaxing Lazy-boy chair with a huge drink in my hand, it usually didn't take long for me to start feeling good. About the time I'd get half way thru the Hungarian and become very drowsy, I'd always hear some version of the following comments...

"Are you falling asleep on me? I went out my way to make this drink for you and you can't even be bothered to finish it!"

"Joe, da drinkz grrrreat! But howz I gonna finissss it (hiccup) ifz I can't holdz my eyessss open?"

"You just can't hold your liquor!"

We be up again the next morning at 4am to get ready to head to the airport in Laguna Vista for the weekend of racing.



Drinks at Deer Camp

Joe, James and I were out hunting one weekend at the Cooper-Maxwell Ranch in Leakey. It was just going to be the three of us and Joe brought drinks! Yay....

James already had the camp fire going when Joe and I showed up. (James can't go anywhere without having a camp fire...)
Joe had brought a bottle of Jim Beam (not a "handle" but a standard bottle size) and some Cokes with him. He started pouring and we had some good toasts about a successful hunt then went and sat by the fire.

We didn't have Joe's regular tumbler cups (thank goodness) so he was mixing in regular red Solo cups. After the first round, Joe went back into the kitchen to make more. I went in to help bring the 3 cups back out.

Now, I don't know why I didn't question it then, and or course I'm sure Joe wasn't up to any pranks on James or myself (yeah right!), but I seem to recall there being an empty bottle of Jim Beam, only 2 empty Coke cans, and I was holding our 2nd round of drinks!

We're back at the fire and I was feeling pretty good with a decent buzz going, but nothing extreme. We're all laughing, telling jokes, poking fun at one another...typical camp stuff. 'Bout the time I finished my 2nd drink, nature decided to call and I made this plan to head for the nearest tree (about 10 yds away).

As they say, "The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry."

I stood up, but never completely got all the way up. About halfway to standing straight, I just continued over and did a face plant in the grass!

"What are you doing, Ken?"

"I GOTTA PEE!!!"

It took a minute (literally) for me to gain enough momentum to get back to a somewhat "up" position. At least enough to stumble over to something worth holding onto, or lean up against. Mission accomplished, but barely!

"What did you put in those drinks, Joe?"

"You just can't hold your liquor!"

"Huh. Okay..."



Even blood is fair game...

Kerri sometimes gave me a hard time about letting her Dad get the best of me alcohol-wise. So I remind her of this story from time to time. Because I can!

Joe and Lois drove up to SA for the weekend and had just pulled up to our house one Friday evening. Kerri, Lois, and Joe are all teachers, so of course they start talking "shop" in the kitchen and I just head to the living room with a beer in my hand (I've learned my lesson by now...).

They all started with wine, as that is Kerri's drink of choice. I think the flavor at the time was a Merlot. A couple bottles down and Lois heads off for bed. From my seat in the recliner, I can see Joe and Kerri still at the kitchen table, glasses almost empty.

Kerri then heads over to the liquor cabinet and starts rummaging around. Next thing I know I see a bottle of Tequila out.

(Did I mention that Joe likes Tequila? I think so....)

"Are y'all doing shots?"

Here's where it got interesting. Joe took control of the bottle and poured them both a wine glass full of Tequila, and the conversation resumed.

About an hour later, I look up and see Kerri with her head down on the table and Joe is just talking away! I head in to the kitchen...

"Kerri, are you ok?"

"Ugh...."

"Really, Joe? Your own daughter?!?"

"It's not my fault she can't hold her liquor!"

It was now my turn to be the soothing voice and hair holder as Kerri sat on the bathroom floor that night.

I eventually made it back out to the kitchen where Joe asked if I want a drink.

"I'm good with my beer, Joe. But thanks!"

[kmack]

Never trust Google...Maps!

We've been avid RV campers for many years. From my grand parents back in the 80's, my parents thru the 90's, and Kerri & I from 2004 on... We don't always make long trips, but when we do it usually ends-up a doozy!

I had family that lived outside Harleton, Tx right near Lake O' The Pines. One year, probably 2009, we decided it would be great to haul the travel trailer (what we had at the time, now we have a big Class C) up that way and stay at Brushy Creek Campground on the lake. I got off work early, Kerri and I loaded the Excursion up, threw Lynden in the truck, hooked up the travel trailer, and we hit the road!

Google maps showing us the way!


Now, I've been to Harleton many times and I can find my way there, eventually. But I had this new thang called an iPhone with these electronic maps from Google, and we figure "what the hay!", we'll try it and see how it does.

So, I know what you're thinking now. What the heck are you doing with a big 4wd diesel Excursion when there's only three of you? Because we can and that thing drove like a Cadillac on the highway!

We head up I-35 to Waco, turn off on Hwy 31 for Tyler, get on I-20 headed East, Lynden is crashed out asleep, and we're doing pretty good on time. Should be there just before 10 pm when the gates close. Perfect!

Somewhere about here is where Google screwed us, royally! Still to this day, I have no idea how, why, or what we did to p!ss off the electronic demons of the internet, but Google somehow picked the most out-of-the-way route to the camp ground.

We shot past Longview doing about 75 watching the small map screen the whole time. Then about Hallsville, "Turn left on FM450" the voice said. Ok...

Some of you might know this road. I didn't.
I make the turn, hit the throttle and we're moving again. About a mile in, I felt something might be wrong...



Now, the Excursion is..., well...., we'll call it 20' long with the heavy bumpers. I'm towing 26' of big, square box behind me. That's 46' of "I can sort turn this thing" vehicle. FM450 is NOT a straight road!

We get thru Hallsville, there's an S-turn, a right turn, a left turn, and this-turn, a that-turn...all within half a mile it seemed. A weave here, a weave there, I'm spinning the steering wheel as fast as a I can. I'm only doing about 30 and I can see the time on the clock slipping away. Quickly!

I come around one of those bends in the road and I hit the throttle again just about the time a white flash of something darted across the road in front of me.....

Ba-dump, ba-dump...

Kerri gasped... I stayed quiet... Lynden suddenly wakes up and says, "Did we hit a dog?"

"Well...."

(Crying begins...)



If any of you reading this lived around the North side of Hallsville off FM450 around the late Fall of 2009, and you had a wiener dog looking white ball of fluff that didn't make it out of the road... I am truly sorry!

I really am sorry, but I had my hands full at the time. Trying to beat the clock, half-way lost, Google-girl voice is screaming at me, and I'm trying not to put us into a ditch on this tiny road by trying to miss a dog.

We get to a straight stretch of road and I hammered the go pedal! We're out of here...

Lynden is crying her heart out and Kerri is trying to console Lynden. "Daddy didn't mean to..."

Wait...why is this suddenly all my fault?

The road eventually got better, but we were pressed for time now. It was gonna be close! We pressed on into Harleton, FM 1968 to 726 towards the lake. We just might make it with minutes to spare.



My family lived near Lake Deerwood so I've been to Lake O' The Pines quite a few times. We always went by way of Tejas Village. I'd never been to Brushy Creek Campground before.

Google-girl: "Turn right onto Shady Grove Park road"

"Hey look! There's the road to Tejas! I think we're gonna make it!" I was very optimistic.

My optimism was shattered into a million pieces less than a minute after that statement!



For those of you that have been truly interested in the map of this journey and have actually pulled up a map of Texas in order to follow along, you will notice that Shady Grove does in fact go into Brushy Creek Campground. But not by way of the main gate. I became painfully aware of this fact very quickly.



Right about the time Kerri said, "This road looks awfully small for a park entrance!" was when we pulled up to a big, steel pipe gate across the road. It looked like this, but not this nice...



Now, I've been backing up trailers for my Dad since I was 12. I consider myself pretty good at that type of task. I have taught numerous others how to back up a trailer. It pains me to watch others struggle.

But...

At this exact moment in my life, I was very worried about backing up this trailer. If I did, I had at least 1,500 feet to go to a spot where I "might" be able to turn this rig around. The brush on both sides of the road had already been hitting our mirrors. It was pitch black outside with only the stars visible. And no way, no how was Kerri getting out of the Excursion to help guide me. I think she mentioned something about the movie Deliverance!

Yep! I heard banjos too.



I stood there in front of that gate for a minute and then looked at my watch... 10:16 pm. We were screwed no matter what.

I hung my head low and dropped my shoulders in utter defeat. Stupid Google...

Hmmmm...that's interesting....there's actually no lock on this gate...

I said a small prayer of thanks as I slowly lifted the pipe of its rest and pushed the gate open!

I even closed it behind us!



We pulled into our spot at the campground at exactly 10:32 pm. I plugged us in to power, hooked up the water hose for the toilet, and then we went to sleep.

The next morning, Kerri asked why there seemed to be so much light in the bathroom of the trailer. I looked up at the roof vent and saw nothing but tall pines trees.

That's just great... "There was a vent cover there yesterday..."

After that little discovery, Kerri left to go up to the main gate to get our little piece of paper for our camp site. The workers there said they couldn't find any notes about us checking in last night.

"Hmmm....really?"

Kerri told them we got there right at 10 and the people just waved us on and told us to come back in the morning. It apparently worked. She got our campsite paper and we enjoyed the rest of our weekend.

We just had to make plans to go find a new vent cover later that day.