What are your favorite funny sayings/comebacks?

[gemini2759]

I've done that before you were a wet spot on your parents bed.

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[ThisLadyHunts]

I have many of them but I didn't realize until just now how very few of them are suitable for general audiences.

[brown dogs]

Have I ever lied to you where you could tell it?

[solocam_aggie]

Joe ain’t scared of work, he’ll sit right beside it.


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[Low Fence]

What don’t kill you makes you stronger… except bears. Bears will kill you

[ohuett]

I had a boss that used to say, “When you go home, it’s like two good people coming to work.”


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[Chew]

At least you got that going for you...

[SmTx]

At least you got that going for you...

One of my favorite things about watching Jeopardy was Trebek telling someone "Good for you." Usually right after someone said something really lame about their personal life or hobby

[Abcdj]

You'll get nothing and like it.

Use that head for something besides a hat rack.

You've got 3 brain cells. One's dead and the other two are fighting.

[Froggy]

"Baby you look so good even my wife would be proud if I bought you home."

[MisterB]

I think they threw away the baby and raised the afterbirth.

[zac221]

What are your favorite funny sayings/comebacks?

If someone cuts you off in mid sentence….

I’m sorry did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours. Go ahead, please continue.

That has worked on multiple occasions to get things settled down.


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[rolylane6]

When my wife is leaving to go somewhere she says "be back later." I always respond with " yeah, that's what my first wife said too."
She just gives me an SMH look.

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[Cliff Dog]

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you

[Dusty8186]

when someone farts, "Some @sshole is back there talkin shiz!"