Sexual abuse question

[catslayer]

Tell the kids... They need to know even if it's only to help themselves to see the things that might trigger that kind of alcoholism. Part of that is genetic...

The kids need to know...

[Bro. Bill]

One of the reasons sexual abuse is still an epidemic is no one talks about it and shine the light of day on the subject.
It's horrendous and part of our job as Christians and Godly men I believe is to shine a light in the dark.

His kids deserve closer at the very least.

I think by knowing to ask the questions you've already answered for yourself.



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Here Here!!!

[mchildress]

If he wanted them to know he would have told them. You really have to way out if there is anything positive or anything that would help them and not just be angry with him for not telling them.

[Hogmauler]

Yessir I understand what your saying.

[mikemorvan]

I didn't read each response, so i apologize if i'm covering ground that has already been covered.

I think you owe it to his wife and kids to tell them the secret. They deserve to know, at a minimum at least partially, WHY their husband and dad was the way he was. We all deal w/ trauma differently. It's not a leap to think the guy found solace in alcohol, and could not maintain a close relationship for a reason. I would let those people know.

Good luck with it all. Very tough situation.

[Burnadell]

Im in the tell them group. It may answer some questions for them as to his issues. I imagine he did not want people/family to know was because he didn’t want them to “look at him differently“ and was ashamed, but he is not here to feel uncomfortable anymore, and his family just might be able to forgive him for his faults.

[Pedernal]

Thankfully my parents were good to me and my siblings!

No expert here but if I was one of the kids I would want to know. Kids suffer from poor paternal and maternal relationships way beyond our comprehension IMHO. if I read correctly the divorce was in 96 so they are grown adults and unless they have any mental disabilities they should be told, at least that is my thinking.

Prayers up for your friend's family

[Hogmauler]

I would like y’all to know that considering everything that he went through he was a great guy. We have a special needs son the my friend loved dearly and always went out of his way to make him feel special. He served honorably in the CB,s, was a born again believer. He used to tell me “Bruce don’t sweat the small stuff”. “Bruce you should apologize to your wife”. And he was right most of the time if not all. His kids told me how much our friendship meant to him. That was a tough day. Thanks for the input y’all.

[brushtrooper]

I think your friend has been the victim long enough. Time to put blame where it is due. Thats a horrible thing he lived with

[Hogmauler]

I’m gonna pray about it before I do it. I’m gonna cal his son and tell him.

[lovemylegacy]

Wow Roly this getting complicated now. Maybe I tell his wife after all. Just don’t know. He had told me that when he spoke to his kids regarding their divorce that there were things that the wife didn’t tell them. Namely that he only took enough money, $5,000.00 to buy a small used travel trailer to live in. They thought he had cleaned them out.

If you are gonna tell one, tell them all. You are in a touchy spot . However, all parties involved need to know.

[bigtex76]

I would call for a meeting with the ex and the kids and tell them. They would get closure and realize why he acted they way he did in terms of relationships. They will be able to forgive him within themselves. Just my .02$

[Hogmauler]

I don’t think it’s incumbent upon me to tell all of em brother. His son is the one That told me he was emotionally retarded. We had a great conversation at the time. I’ve got a few days before I do this. Gonna call next week.

[critter69]

I would say tell them, it is obvious he had issues, and most likely it was related in part to what had happened to him. Which we don’t know how bad it was, but I am sure it was horrible. By telling them, they may understand why he was like he was. I would imagine it was hard for him to deal with, and show true love and trust for those he truly loved. I myself would tell them. They would know why he was emotionally retarded, and it wasn’t his fault. Sounds like they may forgive him for what they believe ( but didn’t know) was wrong with him. He deserves that, imo.

[BlackoutRam2500]

God Bless you Hogmauler. You're in a tough spot but as others have said it's a secret that never should have been. As a father I would want to know. As a son I would want to know. As a husband I would want to know. I cannot think of a single instance where I wouldn't want to know why the person I loved so much was in so much emotional turmoil and pain.



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