Serious question about hunting, kids, and marriage.

[Mike D]

Since we are all just being honest here..... after reading all these replies, it’s most likely a good thing that I don’t have a child. Atleast not in the society that we live in now days. I never had any real interest in sports as a kid. I played some school football and baseball, but I did it mainly because all my friends did. I didn’t have a love for it. My love and passion was hunting, fishing, and trying to be as close to my dad as I could. I never stopped trying to impress him and seek his approval (that’s a whole different story). Even now as an adult, I still have zero interest in sports. I do not watch it on tv like most guys do. I have no interest in going to games, even pro level games. It just doesn’t excite me. So....if I had a kid, I can assure you that all my free time (or even just a small part of it) would not be spent hauling him around non stop to the endless practices, leagues, games, and tournaments. I wouldn’t tell him he couldn’t participate if he really wanted to. I would support him in it all financially. But there is just no way I’d give up my life from 5yrs old to 18yrs old to revolve everything around sports. Now days it’s not just Jr high and high school sports. That’s not good enough anymore. They have to be involved in every sport, every league under the sun, from January to December. That’s just now how I’d choose to live. So......that vasectomy might not be a bad idea!

Well society isn’t getting any better for sure. We need to keep the heritage alive or it will just go away.

As to the kids and sports, all of my kids played sports in the spring and I would only let them play one at a time. I always told them if they wanted to be good at sports, pick one and stick with it. Very few kids have the true natural talent to play multiple sports and be good at it, regardless of what their parents think.

Fall/winter was for hunting and they were always part of it from the time they were old enough to go.


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[Mike D]

Serious question about hunting, kids, and marriage.

Times have changed Old Timer

Not from the point I was trying to make.

And in many aspects not for the better.


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[breynolds]

I’m 34 with a wife, 4 year old and, and 10 month old. My best advise is to find a way to include them. I’m working on my wife to get her out with me while the kids stay with grandparents. That gives us some time to be alone and for her to begin to appreciate the outdoors more. I also make it a point to get involved in her hobbies, so it’s less of an argument come hunting season.

I spend time with my 4 year old watching hunting videos, putting out a pop up blind in The backyard to “play” hunt, and we crawl around the house quietly pretending to track deer. Her interest in hunting is increasing and its always like Christmas when I come home and she has questions about the trip.

[Death from Above]

Could not imagine life without my wife and kiddos...hunting all the time is boring compared to all the memories we have made.

[Muskles]

My wife and I both enjoyed the outdoors before we meet and while dating. I didn't have to worry about hunting after we got married and had kids I was working 10-12 hours a day 6-7 days a week. Missed a lot of the boys growing up. My youngest plays tennis now, but most of his matches/tournaments aren't during hunting season. He did have one a couple weekends ago. I asked if he wanted me to go, or if it was ok if I went hunting. He said I didn't have to come, but he would like for me to. I didn't even have think about it. I use about 75% of my vacation days to go hunting. I don't get any grief for it. The wife and boys don't care for hunting, but enjoy the outdoors and shooting. I don't try to push hunting on them. They have their things and I don't try to change them, or keep them from doing it either.

[sharpstick35]

going out to the ranch is always a family affair. i'd get in trouble if I went alone, lol. I own my land and it's not strictly hunting only. I've made it comfortable with a 3 bd trailer with WIFI access. My wife gathers prickly pears and persimmons for jelly that she sells at the feed store while i'm out in the stand.
only one of my neighbors comes out regularly all year, the rest are only seen once in sept. to fill feeders and one or 2 weekends during the season. a few I haven't seen in a couple years


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[lovemylegacy]

I know there is a pretty broad age group of people on this board, so I feel like there will be some good discussion on this as I feel the responses will vary based upon age.

It seems that more and more I see/hear people talking about how they are not able to hunt/fish/be outdoors as much as they’d like due to having kids and a wife. I have two very good friends that I’ve known most of my life. They lease some property from me. It’s gotten to the point that I only see them 1-2 times a year now during deer season when they come up to camp. One lives 40 minutes away. The other lives about 90 minutes away. All I hear from them is how they can’t hunt due to kids and/or wife. They are just too busy.

My Dad was an avid outdoorsman. The day I was born, he was on Texoma hauling in stripers. Just weeks after I was born, I was in a Ranger boat strapped in a car seat on Toledo Bend while he caught bass. Anything that could be hunted, trapped, or fished for, he did it. For the most part, my dad worked a 40-50 hour a week job 5 days a week. Weekends were for hunting/fishing. That’s just how it was. Nobody complained about it. It was not a big deal. He was not an absent father. He didn’t neglect any home duties. But you sure as hell were not going to tell him he couldn’t go hunt/fish because of me or a wife. I started going hunting along side him when I was 7-8. I was fishing with him well before that.

It just seems like men nowdays in the 25-40 year old age group seem to either be making a lot excuses for not being able to be outdooors, or they have wives that really are a bit too hard on them for wanting to enjoy their hobbies. I’m not saying that all those men don’t enjoy spending time with their babies. It’s just never presented in that manner. It’s always “I’ve got kids and a wife so I don’t get to hunt much”. For the older crowd on here, men that would be my Dad’s age, I don’t feel like you all were the same way when you were “in your prime”. You did what you wanted and nobody gave you a hard time about it. You hunted when you wanted and that’s just how it was. The wife and kids were never an excuse or reason why you couldn’t be in the field.

I am not meaning this as a slam towards any at all. I’m just trying to get some understanding as to what is real vs guys just making excuses not to be outdoors.

One thing is for sure, in less than 12 hours you have 4 pages of responses, must be something to your question. Can of worms for sure.

My sons and my daughter played sports pretty much year round and we still hunted and fished. I always found time to go by myself and take the boys. Its either a matter of want to or female domination.

[curtintex]

I spent most of my 20s and 30s at work, in the woods or on the water. I have four daughters and they'd go sometimes but they enjoyed hanging out with my wife too, shopping, watching chick flicks, etc. My wife would go sometimes but wasn't ate up with it and she only liked evening hunts.

One thing is for sure...I do what I want to do and my wife supports that 100%. We don't need to be stuck up each other's butts all the time to have a good marriage. She needs me to act like a man so that my girls know what to look for in a husband.

In late 2012, I sold our ranch. I needed cash to start another business and it ended up being a great trade....however, we all still miss that place. A lot of our outdoors time together, killing hogs, deer, ducks, working cows, calling yotes, etc., got interrupted. The girls were 19,18,8,8.

All of my girls are athletes and I made the decision very early that I wasn't gonna miss them competing because it'll be over before I know it. The youngest two are Sophomores and having watched their older sisters end their athletic careers, I know the next 2.5 years is gonna fly by. I won't trade killing a duck or a deer for that if I can help it.

But one thing about the last 10 years is that I just came to love other things as much as I do hunting. Some of my buddies are always saying, "Man you gotta get out of the office and away from that phone". Why? I freaking love it. I'm a competitor and business is a competition. I love the people that I work with and love strategizing our next ten moves. I love free-enterprise and the possibilities that affords.

I love traveling with my wife. If I have to choose between taking my wife to Napa or going on our Missouri deer hunt with my buddies....well, I love my buddies, but she's the one that'll be there when everybody else is gone. We enjoy each other's company more every year and we like to visit new places. Her thing for the last few years is that every year for my birthday, she gets she and I tickets to a college basketball game in a historic venue. That's cool.

I have a pretty well-balanced life....I work a little, I hunt a little, I fish a little, I watch a sports a little, I hang with my girls a little, I sit around on TBH a little, I hang with my wife a little, I hang with my friends a little. I do what makes me, and those that are important to me, happy. It does all come down to choices and I'm pretty comfortable with mine.

[Sleepy]

My wife says “See ya!”

Sometimes I choose to stay home, but my place is an hour away. I hunt pretty much every weekend. Maybe not all weekend, but at least a full day Saturday or Sunday or if it’s good, I’ll hunt the whole weekend. She’s a stay at home mom and takes care of our 4 year old while our 12 year old is at school all day. I get to mingle with adults during the week. She doesn’t. Sometimes I choose to stay home rather than hunt, just to give her a little break and spend some time with the girls. My oldest will probably never set foot in a deer blind. She’s been princesses and that’s just the way it will be. My youngest is on the path I took and she will be going along very soon. But she never asks me to stay home or not to go and she respects and supports my passion 100%.

[Hart8]

I think these days parents turned from worshiping God to worshiping children. They put their focus on whatever the children want to do which is why their daily schedules are insane. Parents allow children to dictate schedules. It used to be that if a kid's schedule didn't align with the family's schedule, the parents said, "No, we are not going to do that. Find something that will work with our priorities."



That said, parents are called made to feel like they are bad if they don't show up for the kids' practice, the kids' games, the kids' ... whatever. So if you make time to attend even 1 game and 1 practice for each kid and you have 2 kids participating in 2-4 activities, you ain't gonna have time for hunting, fishing, or anything else. I feel bad for parents that get this peer pressure.



My dad worked 60-80 hour weeks 52 weeks of the year. My mom raised 3 kids that were the same age. She always made time to attend a few games a season for me. She always made time to drop me off and pick me up from practice. My parents always had time for each of us when we needed it.

That's a good point.There was no such thing as,"year round" baseball,volleyball,or cheerleading.

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[curtintex]

I also hope and pray that my little girl wants to play softball/sports(not soccer). I played baseball from 5-20 years old and there was nothing I would have rather done. I passed up on fishing, hunting and girls to throw a **** ball. Lol. But if she doesn’t we’ll just go fishing. Lol

I'm gonna impart some wisdom on you. I've experienced this, so I speak TRUTH. My oldest girls played softball from 5 up to 13, and basketball from 5 through varsity. The best year of my life was the first year we DIDN'T have to go to the ballpark. When the twins came along, we didn't even let them know anything about softball...I'm not sure they can throw or swing a bat. We took them straight to the basketball gym and they love it. Air Conditioning, bro!!!! Ballparks don't have them and gymnasiums do....BASKETBALL is literally cooler!!!!

[okrattler]

Don't know,don't want to know and good God I hope I never know. When I ain't working I'm killin stuff. If I can do that until the day I die or become too senile to realize I ain't doin it I'll be doing pretty good.

[Buckwheat]

Hunting season is my time. Yes I’ll go to games and special events with wife or kids. But after that or before that I’m in the woods. Most of the time with the wife and kids. I told my wife before we got married. During deer season that’s my time of year.


“There's more fun in hunting with the handicap of the bow than there is in hunting with the sureness of the gun.” -Fred Bear-

[lodgepole]

I'm gonna impart some wisdom on you. I've experienced this, so I speak TRUTH. My oldest girls played softball from 5 up to 13, and basketball from 5 through varsity. The best year of my life was the first year we DIDN'T have to go to the ballpark. When the twins came along, we didn't even let them know anything about softball...I'm not sure they can throw or swing a bat. We took them straight to the basketball gym and they love it. Air Conditioning, bro!!!! Ballparks don't have them and gymnasiums do....BASKETBALL is literally cooler!!!!

Lol- there is a very valid point here.


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[DRT]

Since we are all just being honest here..... after reading all these replies, it’s most likely a good thing that I don’t have a child. Atleast not in the society that we live in now days. I never had any real interest in sports as a kid. I played some school football and baseball, but I did it mainly because all my friends did. I didn’t have a love for it. My love and passion was hunting, fishing, and trying to be as close to my dad as I could. I never stopped trying to impress him and seek his approval (that’s a whole different story). Even now as an adult, I still have zero interest in sports. I do not watch it on tv like most guys do. I have no interest in going to games, even pro level games. It just doesn’t excite me. So....if I had a kid, I can assure you that all my free time (or even just a small part of it) would not be spent hauling him around non stop to the endless practices, leagues, games, and tournaments. I wouldn’t tell him he couldn’t participate if he really wanted to. I would support him in it all financially. But there is just no way I’d give up my life from 5yrs old to 18yrs old to revolve everything around sports. Now days it’s not just Jr high and high school sports. That’s not good enough anymore. They have to be involved in every sport, every league under the sun, from January to December. That’s just now how I’d choose to live. So......that vasectomy might not be a bad idea!

I can relate to this. I grew up running trap lines, fishing, hunting small game and later on deer.
I played sports because it was expected. I was good at wrestling and loved baseball. Played softball til I was 49. Would still play if the body was able.
That said raising my kids was a chore and I too often chose hunting and fishing over being involved in what they did. The last few years I've been relearning how to be a dad. And if we're being honest it's not what I was cut out for but it is my responsibility.
However never have I not gone because my wife said I couldn't.
To paraphrase the conversation went like this about thirty years ago.
Her: You go hunting and fishing too much.
Me: Get the divorce papers drawn up, take whatever you want except my guns, my boat and fishing equipment. I'll sign em and you can move on.
Her: You'd give up your family before giving up hunting?
Me: I love y'all but I'd give them up long before I'd give up me and being who I am.

Still married. Still hunting. She's still not complaining. Worked out I guess.
To be honest though she probably deserved a better man. Tough gal.

Gary