Serious question about hunting, kids, and marriage.

[deerplanter]

I'm 54 my kids are grown and gone and have 6 grandkids 3 boys and 3 girls. I asked my dad when I was a kid why mom never got upset when he was gone hunting or fishing and he told me he told her before they got married that he was a hunter and would have to accept him being gone during hunting seasons. I told the same thing to both my wives and never heard a peep from them when I tell either one I was going hunting. Mine and my brothers sports in highschool slowed him and us down but didn't stop it. I believe most of the guys using it as an excuse just don't really want to hunt like my dad or I do or they would find a way.

[Smell the Glove]

I don’t have kids but it’s definitely been difficult explains to my soon to be wife that the best/only good time to hunt for me is late October to mid December. In that time frame I don’t expect to be bothered about how much time I spend in the field. First year was terrible (almost called it) second year was a little better and this year was good. As of 12/1 Ive spent 24 days in the woods and only heard a “cant wait for hunting season to be over” once. She comes from a family of non hunters so they don’t really get it either. However things are looking up and she is understanding I need this time for myself and the rest of the year she can have. For context I’m 26 and she’s 25. Hopefully whenever we decide to have kids she doesn’t try to flip this position, because I’m not opposed to hauling my little ones 25’ up a tree with me!


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She will. Good luck.

[tfrye]

I’m 39, was married for 10yrs. I do not have any kids by choice. I’ve been very much into bodybuilding/fitness since I was 20. My ex-wife was the very same way. Neither of us wanted to give up any part of our lives to make the sacrifices that a child requires. Do I regret it now? No....not really. I think it would be nice to have a son now to spend time with and do the things that my dad and I did, but I do not look back on my choice with regret.

this sums up why this thread was started, priorities is key! Nothing wrong with your priorities but that makes sense for why you asked the questions you did.

[tfrye]

I don’t have kids but it’s definitely been difficult explains to my soon to be wife that the best/only good time to hunt for me is late October to mid December. In that time frame I don’t expect to be bothered about how much time I spend in the field. First year was terrible (almost called it) second year was a little better and this year was good. As of 12/1 Ive spent 24 days in the woods and only heard a “cant wait for hunting season to be over” once. She comes from a family of non hunters so they don’t really get it either. However things are looking up and she is understanding I need this time for myself and the rest of the year she can have. For context I’m 26 and she’s 25. Hopefully whenever we decide to have kids she doesn’t try to flip this position, because I’m not opposed to hauling my little ones 25’ up a tree with me!


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Just wait until you have a kid, if you thought year 1 and 2 was tough, you better buckle up!! She is not going to like the idea of you going off and having fun while she does all the work with the kid...

[Grndchecker]

There’s two sides to my story as I’ve been married twice.
First one was supposedly ok with my hunting and fishing, but turned into a huge fight and ordeal when I went. I cut way back on my fishing and duck hunting, but I deer hunted maybe four weekends a season. Tried to involve her, but she refused. I would get the silent treatment and snide remarks every time. She would go to her mom’s when I went hunting. And then I later found out that was a cover for going clubbing, cheating on me.
I was bitter and blunt towards women after that. I was not being selfish. She did what she wanted when she wanted and I didn’t deserve the guilt trip when I went.
Started seeing someone else a few years after my divorce. I had that discussion early on about how much I loved to hunt. Explained that with the exception of a few work weekends during the year, January through September we could plan and do whatever, but October through early December I was going to hunt if I was off work. Her apprehension was an ex that his trips to hunt were spent chasing a different white tail. She went hunting with me the first season we were dating. She saw my hunting habits as far as how long I stayed in the stand and even making sure my 4 year old son was involved.
It has worked for 20 years and two daughters. My timing was even off and my youngest’s due date was the first week of November. My wife convinced her Dr to induce on the Tuesday before opening of rifle so her and baby would be home and I could still make opening morning.
I have missed dance practices during deer season, but so has my wife and daughters. She loves to hunt as much or more than I do. And we told the studio we wouldn’t be there. Now I don’t go up as much as I used to during the off season to scout or work because I’ve been on the same lease for 25 years and almost have it where I need only a few days to trim and mow.

[IvoryRoot]

The dynamic sets the tone...if you are one of those dads that just has to see their kids on a field playing sports you are crap out of luck. We have friends in sports.....they have no life. If they aren’t working they are at a weekday practice or weekend game/tournament. If you live by the “happy wife, happy life” mentality and she’s not a hunter, you’re setting yourself up for failure. If your wife/kids don’t hunt, you’re setting yourself up for failure .

Our kids spent all of August, September, and October scouting, hiking, camping, and hunting antelope and bighorn sheep with us(my wife’s tags). We haven’t pushed and they like it, they set the limits and we watched lots of sheep or antelope walk away my wife or I could have otherwise gotten on. Lots of hotel/cabin time too. I’ve seen dads push hunting too hard on their kids and the kids losing the desire to spend time outdoors.

Maybe I’m just lucky as hell. Who knows, but I agree with lots of the folks above. A lot of it is excuses and thinking things have to be a certain way once you’re married and have kids.

I’m 34 with a 8, 5, and a 2 YO. My oldest plays select baseball so we’re usually at the ballpark on weekends and my 5 yo plays as well. I’ve never pushed them to play ball but it’s what they love to do so it takes time away from when I have the opportunity to go. I still have time to take them dove, duck, and deer hunting. They spend as much time outdoors as some of my buddies do. Sure there are times I’d rather not be at the ballpark but that’s what I signed up for when I decided to have children.

[Hooverfb]

Im 28, been married 5 years, and have a 3 yr old. I'll do all I can to get him outdoors. My wife likes camping and fishing, but not if watching the kid is involved lol. Some things just aren't feasible with the 3 yr old. He's not quiet, he doesnt like busting brush on public land, nor can he walk very far with me. I take him scouting now and then, but that's it for hunting. He hates wearing ear plugs too. He does like fishing so I'll take him, but he gets bored of it. I'm not as blessed as OPs dad to have a boat to take him out on... yet.
I do what I can to get myself outdoors, and get my son exposed to it and see what he likes. He begged me to go on my trip up north for hunting, so maybe he'll start to learn it soon, but I gotta learn more as my dad never took me hunting. Instead i take him to playgrounds, general hiking, show him how to work on cars, use tools, etc. He's upset with me currently for not having fixed the cedar trellis into he backyard that the wind snapped in half.
If i had a lease I'm sure the hunting aspect would be different, but just the way it is. My wife was very understanding with me going on my trip, heck it was probably me missing them more than her being annoyed i was gone. I like hunting, but love family. I only get one go around, and while I'll hunt, spending time with my family however it shakes out is what matters.

[glen]

When my kids were small it was easy. Both have been offshore probably 75 - 100 times. both have killed a trailer full of critters. It was actually easy to go and kids enjoyed it. The one thing that has changed is competitive sports. If your kid decides this is the direction they want to go then no way but to almost cut hunting and fishing for 5-6 years. Baseball is year round with a break from Thanksgiving to Christmas. Get a oddball weekend off and get bad weather weekends off but not much at all. I have enjoyed it and have been to at least 90% of my kids events. Felt like it was my job as a Dad. I except he will do the same when the time comes and he will also probably have a good relationship with his children.

[junior]

hunting

I didn't take a newborn bow hunting.

Bow hunted when the wife kept the kids.

ya, figured, it was just too good to pass up a free shot!

[KX500]

If I could go back in time and have a redo of 1 day, it would be the day my son was born. I went deer hunting. I did get to the hospital on time, but I wasn't there for most of the day when my wife needed me. Honestly, the biggest regret of my life.

Now I could add that our daughter (1st child) took about 3 days to arrive after my wife went into labor or that I had skipped bowhunting the year my son was born (& only that year) and that my wife went into labor on opening morning of our 3 day November gun season (see what I was thinking - better go 1st day, the rest of the weekend is wiped out!). But those details don't change the fact that I let my best friend down. After 22 years, my wife has mostly forgiven me (about 65% maybe).

But life doesn't really give us a redo very often.

Those kids that live in your house now, won't live there all that long. Those kid's ball games (that seem to be never ending at times) don't really cover that many years either. I was always amazed at my kids' games, how few parents would come to see their kids play. A huge loss to the parents, but you think the kids don't understand where they rank in the parents schedule?

Time is resource even more important than money. Use it wisely.

You may get to a time in your life when you can hunt all you want. But you will never get back a missed opportunity to do the right thing for your wife and/or kids.

Those bucks & fish will always be there. Kids certainly won't be and a wife is a maybe!

[Dale Moser]

Im 28, been married 5 years, and have a 3 yr old. I'll do all I can to get him outdoors. My wife likes camping and fishing, but not if watching the kid is involved lol. Some things just aren't feasible with the 3 yr old. He's not quiet, he doesnt like busting brush on public land, nor can he walk very far with me. I take him scouting now and then, but that's it for hunting. He hates wearing ear plugs too. He does like fishing so I'll take him, but he gets bored of it. I'm not as blessed as OPs dad to have a boat to take him out on... yet.

3 is SUPER early to worry about what he can/will do. All that matters is that it's fun, too easy to make it a negative experience at that age. In 2 years he'll be jerking perch faster than you can bait a hook, and running through .22 shells faster than you can load mags.

[BackwoodzHank]

I'm 42yo, come home straight home from work every day, dont hang out with the guys, not much of a drinker, go to every school function that work allows......nine months out of the year. During deer season my wife knows ( and has no issue with) me being out in the woods. Our vacations revolve around either Texas draw hunts or Idaho elk hunts.
I have a great wife and she understands that it is a form of therapy and can see the noticeable difference in my attitude and demeanor after I have had some time in the tree.
I am very blessed that she supports me in this habit.

[junior]

Pretty much the same here, except I was coaching and had kids. Leave the house at dark, get home at dark, working the weekends many hrs, all football season. Then I'd want to go hunting over Christmas break. Wasn't too bad till we had kids, she wasn't a fan and I understood it. I coached my son in spring and Fall baseball up till last year and that takes a lot of our weekends. Thought I'd get more time in this Fall, but got suckered into coaching a 10U team. One day I'll get more time to hunt and fish, but I'd do it again for my kids.

[meltingfeather]

Everybody has different priorities, is dealing with different situations, and draws their lines in different places. "What is real" depends on the individual... every individual. No way you can know.

[wloftis]

For me, mid 30's, no excuses b/c of wife/kids, but I let "not being able to hunt" fall under more of a scheduling/timing thing. Excluding work; even at their my kids young age...the schedule get full (friends/family/birthdays/etc.).

That being said I get out hunting/fishing as much as possible, and my oldest is coming to an age where he can go with me (making things easier on my wife). Took my 3 year old to the deer blind Saturday afternoon and it was one of the most fun hunting trips I've been on (I am also that dad that took him dove hunting when he was 4 months old and first deer blind sit when he was 6 months).