Parents and Assisted Living

[sailor]

prayers for ya...………
Been there...But, you did the right thing...………
It comes to us all, in time...…...

[dustoffer]

Both of my parents passed before they required any kind of nursing home or assisted living facilty which is both a blessing and not. I was in the Army from age 23 on and not around as much as I wanted to be/should have been.

I think you are fortunate to have had so many quality years with Mom 'n Dad---count your blessings and be thankful. You still have time left with them and I know you'll make the most of it.

[Gummi Bear]

Mrs has been through a similar roller coaster ride concerning her grandparents. Both 94, they went into assisted living a couple of years ago when grandma's Alzheimer became more than grandpa could manage by himself at home. She still goes to see them every single day, and does their laundry.

My FIL is the executor of the estate, but Mrs takes care of all the day to day stuff.

It's been hard for her. She still loves going to see them, and they're always up to something that ends in a funny story.

[sierracharlie338]

Watched my grandfather deteriorate from Alzheimer’s and eventually pass before I knew what was going on, heck I was young. That is one disease that really strains the family as much if not more than the person diagnosed with it.

Fast forward to now and I’m waiting for the day my dad and I have to put my mom in a home due to her long list of health issues. Being an adult plain sucks sometimes.

OP - prayers for you and family.


Sierracharlie out…

[Razorback01]

I'm not as close as you are, but getting close. My parents are in their 80's, mom is still fine, dad has had some health issues. I went back to Hot Springs this past weekend to meet with their attys, and clean up the yard and shop. I worked my ars off Thursday evening, Friday am, and all day Saturday. Glad I went. Good luck to you, I'm dreading it, and I know it will come. As Dustoffer said, quality years.

Headed back up the end of September.

[okrattler]

I feel for ya bud it ain't easy. When they moved my great grandma out of her house (the house I grew up in) it was a hard pill for me to swallow. It didn't go as smoothly as it did with your parents and it was a big family fight (I lost) but in the end it was for the best. It's hard to deal with,it's hard seeing people that were strong throughout your life becoming fragile and dependant on other people. Everything about it is hard but I can assure you it's for the best.

[tps7742]

Due to medical marvels that have people living longer, they sometimes refer to this generation as the sandwich generation. Raising kids and taking care of aging parents in this dual role. It is very difficult no doubt.

[kumathebear]

I absolutely feel your pain!

My Dad had a worsening heart condition and my mom could not take care of him so we did the nursing home thing. I was living over 4 hours from my home town and helped get Dad settled. After several calls and visits to where my Dad was. I packed him up and took him home to Mom. His heart condition had worsened but he begged me to get him out! His body was failing but his spirit was still strong and he hated the nursing home.

Within a week after getting him home, it was Hospice time with little time left. I spent all of my vacation and a hard earned 6 week sabbatical with my work to be there and do what I could for him and Mom. Still thankful I had the time to be there and prepare for what was inevitable. One of my most vivid memories is me, two of my son's helping him out of bed and cleaning him up. The tears and memory will always be with me and GW's Grandsons.

My Dad was a WW2 Vet, Army Air Core MP and a tough man until the night he passed. But, Mom went downhill rapidly and I moved her to Granbury to take care of her. She had dementia that progressed to Alzheimers but at least I was close even thou she did not know who I was. The last few months were terrible and then I got that call early on a Sunday morning, Mom was gone as well.

All I can tell you is it's a passage from youth to death and it's tough watching and eventually the loss! I don't have any siblings so all I could do is seek guidance from others and do my best.

God Bless and all you can do is take it one day at a time and LOVE them as long as you can!!

[J Loves Huntin]

Beautiful memories that you choose to share here. As someone who sees this decision on a weekly basis I see firsthand the grief, “betrayal” and difficulties both parties struggle with. Blessings on you and your family as you navigate this new season.

[MQ32Shooter]

Huntsman 27, you’re a good man. What you’re doing is one of the hardest things in the world, but you accepted the challenge and sounds like you’re going to make this life change work for your folks. My moms 99 and in assisted living in Canton. My MIL, who’s 91 came to live with me and the wife in January this year. She’s in Hospice care and last week they changed her care category to “end of life”. Very hard of my wife, but like you, it’s her mother m and will do anything to make her end of days as comfortable as possible. I commend you and any others having to go through these difficult times. Only hope our kids are watching and learning.

[RascalArms]

OP you're a good man, and a credit to your parents. It's evident they did a great job raising you. I see this on the near horizon with my 87 year old father, and I dread what I know is coming. Alzheimer's/Dementia runs heavily on his side of the family. God bless, we'll keep ya'll in our prayers.

Stu

Well said and I totally agree. It’s a tough call and heart wrenching when you have to be the voice for the family and make that call. God bless....prayers for all that have or will have to go through it.

[doghouse]

God bless you and your family. Went thru this with my mother. Eight years in a dementia unit at a nursing home. She passed in May of 2014.

[Mertzon Man]

God Bless you. Been doing the nursing home deal with my Dad for three years. I live 3 1/2 hrs away. I try to get there every week. Have a sister 30 min away and she is great to visit him couple times a week. I have a brother an hour away that visits almost every week. My hats off to you that don’t have a sibling to help.

[Texas8point]

Yes Sir. Been there and done that. Its not an easy task - the moving or the caregiving.
Prayers up for you and your parents.

[Tony Pic]

Prayers for you and your family.
I have been through that. Dads gone and Moms 93 and holding on in assisted living.
See them as often as you could...you know how time flies.