Premarital Counseling

[Muskles]

J-Bob for president!

He's gonna make marriages great again!

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[WCB]

My wife and I did not do any type of pre-marital counseling. So far we've made it 47 years.

My wife and I would've never made it through counseling. We would've killed each other first. Only been married 32 years.

40 years married here and didn't need counseling till after about 10 years...

[fox1]

We didn't get to do any counseling because her preacher refused to marry us on the grounds that i was a heathen sinner going straight to hell.

We are still married and going strong but i sure wish i would have been able to ask some people some questions back in the early years of our marriage, it could have only helped.

We as men seek advise on everything from the best camo to what brand tire to buy but we never want to seek advise on the really important things we will deal with. I say go into the counseling with open eyes and open ears brother.

[TxKronik]

None of the advice will make sense till your married. Then once married you'll need more counseling, not a bad thing. Then after your ready to quit then you'll have to decide that you only control you and that you must decide if you are fully committed no matter how hard it gets. Last piece is I think you should stop dragging your feet and just get married if you're already living together. My wife and i knew each other 5 days before we decided to get married, married 3 months later. Our marriage has been up and down like everyone else's. We celebrate 6 years in December and have a 6 month old. It is an adventure, enjoy.

Sounds like mine engaged in under a week married 6 months later been 11 years this past September

kronik by Diamond

[dgilbert]

Keep your mouth shut. Lol

[Shane]

I'll add this....

My wife and I went through a pre-marital counseling class taught by a marriage and family counseling professor here at ACU. It was several weeks long. Great class. One week we took personality profile tests. The next week we reviewed the results and talked about what they meant, etc.... After class, the counselor called M.C. and I over. He said, "I don't know how to say this, so I'm just gonna say it. I don't think you two should marry each other."

We asked why. He said that after looking at the personality profiles, we were both type A personalities who like to be in charge, can be stubborn, are direct, etc... He said he was afraid we'd drive each other crazy and fight a lot. He recommended that we think long and hard about it before getting married. We'd already been dating for a year and a half, so we thought we had it all covered. We looked at each other and then looked at him and said, "Thanks, but we ARE gonna get married, and we're NOT gonna get divorced."

We finished the class and eventually got married a couple months later, as scheduled. That was over 26 years ago. About 2 years later, after M.C. had finished her master's degree in marriage and family therapy, that professor hired her to work for him. I saw him a month or so ago, and we laughed about that story. He didn't remember telling us that, but I sure do.

He was right about one thing though. We did fight about some really stupid and trivial things early on, in our individual efforts to run everything. But we learned to stop trying to rule each other's lives eventually, and we got along GREAT once we stopped trying to be each other's bosses.

[Loneaggie]

Do be honest. Don’t hide things. Don’t say what you think she or counselor wants to hear. Do express concerns/worries. Do take it seriously.

[stickbow]

pamplet

bahahaha!!!! nip that s$%# in the bud

[woodsman]

Lotta great advice in this thread, and some funny. ��

I’ll just add that premarital counseling should be merely supplemental to the counsel you each get through your personal walks with the Lord, specifically via His Word. And that will help both of you discern if what you hear in your sessions passes muster in God’s eyes.

Study 1 Corinthians 13 (“The Love Chapter”) together. Give your life for her as Christ did his bride, The Church.

All the best and don’t take a single day for granted!

[EliteZ28Bow]

We had an absolute blast doing our pre marital counseling... It starts off kinda slow, weird and ackward, but it builds into something that is fun and worthwhile. I look back now and think, how cool was it that we took time 1x a week, or 2x (whatever) and focused on how we can be better for each other. That time we put in then has paid dividends in handling different life situations!

^^just finished our first. After the initial jitters wore off, it turned out to be a good experience. I can say I am excited for the remaining sessions.

[Encinal]

It brought my wife and I closer together in that we jointly found it condescending and ridiculous.

[parkchief100]

All I can say is that we are Catholic and the church required us to attend a few sessions of marriage prep and also we were assigned a sponsor couple that we met with on multiple occasions over a few months.

We thought it was great. It's not all that many think it's about. Sure, some of was the religious aspects and putting God in the center of your relationship etc.; however much of it was about how you both feel regarding finances, future children, careers, in-laws, holiday planning, etc.

Let's be honest. The current divorce rate is right at 50%; i.e. one in every two marriages end in divorce.

If you and your spouse actively attend church together, the average divorce rate cuts in half. If you actively pray together, it cuts down to below 10%.

I think some type of pre-marital prep is a good idea; especially if it involves a church.

Been there and done that! I am not Catholic and she was. We never made it to the alter and God knew best. Me and my wife have a 23 and a 16 year old son. We share the same beliefs and church. You have to go where you are being fed! To each their own but when I am asked to sign an agreement that I will raise my kids Catholic well let's just say I'm out!
I hope your's goes smoother than mine did! However, in the end God knew what was best for me.

[EliteZ28Bow]

My husband and I did it and we are glad for it. Our pastor told us some things we needed to be aware of as far as our relationship and things that we needed to accept about each other because as time went on, those would be the things that caused aggravation. These were very specific things for us, not general. We've been married over 21 years now.

My advice to you and your future bride - be honest with yourselves and each other in this premarital counseling. Take it seriously. Take care of your marriage just like you take care of each other.

Will do. She is the love of my life and I want our time on this Earth,although short in His eyes, to be as great as it can be. I try to take nothing for granted. Thank you for the advice.

[J-Bob]

Is the whole pamphlet available for viewing somewhere?

Sure. Shoot me your email address and I will send it to you.

[EliteZ28Bow]

It brought my wife and I closer together in that we jointly found it condescending and ridiculous.

So far, but this was the first meeting, no condescending tones were given. She is wife of our pastor and I believe she is above that tone. Again, this was just the first meeting. Thank you for the advice.