Need some GS advice on post 20 yr olds

[dbaio1]

Not a lot of advice I can give but I will send my prayers for guidance for all and make my staple statement. Tough love works. Good luck.

[rhendrix]

I was your son for awhile...I got out of the Marines and partied like a rock star and blew all of my money on women and booze. It took me living in a roach infested apartment with no money for food or gas and no way to fix it for me to get my life on track. I asked my parents for help, my Dad told me man to man, you're 22, I'm no longer responsible for your mistakes. If you don't like your situation. Change something. They always answered when I called. And I always knew I had parents that loved me and wanted the best for me. But they never gave me a dime. Not one cent. I resented them for awhile about it. But one day...years later, when I was going to school full-time, and working full-time and had a baby and wife to take care of, it clicked. I never would've taken life seriously if I had had them to bail me out every time I needed money. I have no doubt that if I were homeless my parents would've gave me a place to lay my head and food to put in my belly, but I was told several times that if I were to move back in I'd be expected to pay rent, have a curfew, have a job, and would go to school. It never came to that though, I didn't like my current situation, so I changed it. I hope your son does the same.

[Boss Buck]

prayer sent for your situation.

[Bh_liberty]

Calm down. He's 20. He has a work ethic....that's a start. Women and partying are just part of becoming a man. My parents were hard as hell on me and I started working In my old mans shop in5th grade. I always had money to spend and it made me not really appreciate it. I struggled for a LONG time. I liked to party, I liked to screw, I liked to do what I wanted. I didn't get to when I was a kid so I dang sure did once I didn't have to answer to anyone. My parents loved me but I know they worried a lot and pulled their hair out about many of my decisions. I'll tell you this...because of the way I was raised(strict and with an iron fist), there was nothing they could've said that would have changed anything. They laid the proper foundation, I just had to do my thing for me and get it out of my system. He'll be fine. Let the reins loose a bit and just pray for him that he stays safe. If you did it right, hell right the ship eventually. But it can be a long road for a loving parent.


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This was me at 20. When I hit bottom @ 25 I figured it out. I regret what I put my parents thru but our relationship is strong now. I partied hard and had more fun than anybody. I think it's just part of growing up for some young men My raising came thru in the end And my decision making improved. Pray for him.

[sotx]

Calm down. He's 20. He has a work ethic....that's a start. Women and partying are just part of becoming a man. My parents were hard as hell on me and I started working In my old mans shop in5th grade. I always had money to spend and it made me not really appreciate it. I struggled for a LONG time. I liked to party, I liked to screw, I liked to do what I wanted. I didn't get to when I was a kid so I dang sure did once I didn't have to answer to anyone. My parents loved me but I know they worried a lot and pulled their hair out about many of my decisions. I'll tell you this...because of the way I was raised(strict and with an iron fist), there was nothing they could've said that would have changed anything. They laid the proper foundation, I just had to do my thing for me and get it out of my system. He'll be fine. Let the reins loose a bit and just pray for him that he stays safe. If you did it right, hell right the ship eventually. But it can be a long road for a loving parent.


Yup

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Yup

[Charles]

It would be reckless on your part to deny him the opportunity figure it out on his own.

[Hooverfb]

Be his dad, not his checkbook. Those 2 don't have to be considered the same and shouldn't be.

Best advice so far. Wife's parents are financing their giant baby of a 30 yr old son. Sounds like you at least taught him work ethic. He's gotta figure out how to get point a and b to line up. If he wants to exist, he's got to do what it takes. Your job is to help guide him,not finance him. Give him enough room to figure it out, but don't have to stop being dad. And make sure you let mom be mom just hide the checkbook.

[duckmanep]

well, he would be 22.5 or 23 by now.

[Sticks&Strings]

Calm down. He's 20. He has a work ethic....that's a start. Women and partying are just part of becoming a man. My parents were hard as hell on me and I started working In my old mans shop in5th grade. I always had money to spend and it made me not really appreciate it. I struggled for a LONG time. I liked to party, I liked to screw, I liked to do what I wanted. I didn't get to when I was a kid so I dang sure did once I didn't have to answer to anyone. My parents loved me but I know they worried a lot and pulled their hair out about many of my decisions. I'll tell you this...because of the way I was raised(strict and with an iron fist), there was nothing they could've said that would have changed anything. They laid the proper foundation, I just had to do my thing for me and get it out of my system. He'll be fine. Let the reins loose a bit and just pray for him that he stays safe. If you did it right, hell right the ship eventually. But it can be a long road for a loving parent.


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Haven't read past this, but good post. I agree with a lot here. Let him worry about his finances. You just love on him and kindly give advice. He can take it, or not.

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[Colonel_Reb]

I'm a bit older than him at 28. I did this exact same thing but luckily my grades were good enough that my Dad allowed me to stay in school.

How well do you know his friends? My only concern would be him surrounded by idiots who are bringing him down. If he feels down on his luck his may be more susceptible to things that could make his situation worse. I hate to put this in your mind, but I've seen it happen.

I promise he will be all right. I was a complete idiot at 20.

[Rubi513]

well, he would be 22.5 or 23 by now.

Noticed that.
So how is he OP?

[Dale Moser]

Doesn't sound a whole lot different than my situation when I was 20. Dad didn't kick me out, but mom was not thrilled with the hours I was keeping...and it was coming. I got a rent house with some buddies and we partied all the time and had a blast for several years. The advantage I had was a job, it was with the family business and I knew if I ****ed around to bad I would get it from my uncle at work, mom, and dad....and if I got fired I knew I'd have to move back, and that there would be more rules than I cared to deal with.

2 Most important things I kept in mind then, and applys to your son now.

1. MAKE SURE...not to knock any of those girls up.
2. Have a real job, and get there everyday. We are in a labor crisis right now, jobs are easy to find. (I'd hire him tomorrow if you were closer)
3. No DWIs.


I always knew mom and dad loved me and would have taken me in, but I sure didn't want to have to ask.....so I guess a little pride didn't hurt either.

Good luck, sir!

[Smart]

Yup

A 2 year bump to say Yup?

[yotethumper]

A 2 year bump to say Yup?

yup

[SaltwaterSlick]

OP, update??