Getting married to the church

[Monark]

Marriage not based on God in my opinion won't last. She needs to move on. Just my .02

Disagree. My Mom a Christian woman who was daughter of a Southern Baptist preacher married my Dad in their early twenties (back in the 50's). Dad became a Christian in his late 30's. He said Mom didn't nag him, drag him to church ( but she did take us kids to church) but he saw something he needed & she led him to Christ. He believes every word of the Bible, even the Table of Contents but I wouldn't call him a thumper (see below). Long story short, if OP loves the Lady, proceed.

And the thumpers wonder why people have a bad taste for religion and judgement.

[hot_rod_eddie]

I am with the Bible crowd on this one, equally yoked, God is the foundation for marriage, etc. If thinking none religiously I'd agree with if it isn't a big deal to you, but is to her, make her happy.

[BigRed323]

I'm a devout Christian and believer, but that's me. I try not to judge those that view it differently.
I agree that a marriage should have God in the center of the marriage, but I also know plenty of devout and believing Christians that are miserable and/or divorced. Just because God is at the center of the relationship is no guarantee, but it certainly seems like it raises the odds in favor of longevity. I also know people, each from a different religion, that have been married for over 49 years. One is Jewish and one is Christian...go figure.

To the OP, just out of curiosity, if you're not a religious person, why bother with the marriage? Seems like you're going to make a promise to a God you don't believe in, in a place you don't believe for a relationship title. Not being a smart ***, I'm just curious....why bother?

Because marriage is not a strictly religious thing. It's about being married to someone you love. If you wanna focus that relationship around God, great for you. If you want to center it around a unicorn, so be it. Just don't center it around evil things (i.e. Drugs, fighting, Hillary Clinton) and a marriage can be great regardless of what you think.

[Masmak]

Certain things you need to talk about before getting married - church, religion, kids yes / no - how many, finances, death, and inlaws. All are very difficult topics, but need to share before being surprised. I am not a very religious person from a denomination point of view, but I have a strong belief in God, and what I consider good moral values and hard work ethic. If you believe the church she wants to get married in represents what is good in this world - go with the flow and make yourself and her happy. You will probably look back in 20 years and be glad you did.

[BigRed323]

Marriage not based on God in my opinion won't last. She needs to move on. Just my .02

Im sure you're a pleasant feller to be around.

[stickman]

If this marriage in the church isn't a big deal to you I say go for it but... I could only imagine what happens when kids get involved. I'd bet your wife will want your kids raised in the church and so you can figure this will be a potential fight/issue as well. Just looking toward the future, the probability that this causes friction in y'alls Marriage is very high. Best of luck on your decision, I sure hope it all works out for you.

[BigRed323]

If this marriage in the church isn't a big deal to you I say go for it but... I could only imagine what happens when kids get involved. I'd bet your wife will want your kids raised in the church and so you can figure this will be a potential fight/issue as well. Just looking toward the future, the probability that this causes friction in y'alls Marriage is very high. Best of luck on your decision, I sure hope it all works out for you.

I've got no issues with my kids going to church. I'm all for it. When they grow up, they have the decision whether they want to continue it or not, just like I did.

Since many of you have asked, she is not an active church goer. Mainly holidays and such but she wants to get married in the church.

[Playa]

Get married where she wants, bargain for the open bar if you must. But before any of that make sure you guys are on the same page. Too many couple spend more time planning the wedding than they do planning to be married.

I too believe Christ should be both the model and center of a marriage. More to the point, the center of an individual's life. My marriage gets off track only when my focus become me, and not Christ. But for me, my whole life gets off track when that happens.

But until the divorce rate is notably less IN the church and proclaimed Christians that advice rings hollow. Fact is going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you an automobile.

[sir shovelhands]

To the OP, just out of curiosity, if you're not a religious person, why bother with the marriage?

Well for one...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rights..._United_States

You do know that marriage predates all the Abrahamic religions and even recorded history, right? Additionally, there is recorded history of marriages in just about every society on earth before any of them were exposed to the Abrahamic religions.

[stickman]

I've got no issues with my kids going to church. I'm all for it. When they grow up, they have the decision whether they want to continue it or not, just like I did.

Since many of you have asked, she is not an active church goer. Mainly holidays and such but she wants to get married in the church.

Awesome. I'm glad you feel that way, I didn't have the choice. As a teenager I went down the road you are on till about 8 years ago. A church is a beautiful venue and if it makes her happy I'd jump at the chance to do that.

[BoneDigger]

My wife and I do not share the same religious views. We have been happily married for 20 years and religion has NEVER been a problem or an argument. We also have two wonderful daughters.

Marriage is mostly a social union. God and religion do not have to play a central role, or any role at all. A JP can marry two people in a park, with no mention of God at all. Many such marriages thrive.

[easeup]

you don't want God in your marriage? Consider it done already.

[Bowhuntamistad]

you don't want God in your marriage? Consider it done already.

yeah, ok...sure!!!

Let me call some folks that didn't get that memo.

[dac6933]

you don't want God in your marriage? Consider it done already.

Judge much?

[AddisonOil]

In before the axe...


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