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any good disfunctional family christmas stories

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    Originally posted by MtnMike View Post
    My SIL in Colorado will not be joining us for Christmas this year because DJT won and we have supported him since 2015. She unfriended me on Facebook and is not talking to me. She hates Texas and Texans(she was born in Maryland) and I am completely ok with the fact that she is staying home.
    Where in Colorado? I'm sure she's a front ranger by her politics, but if it's anywhere near Grand Junction I could drop off a MAGA sign in her front yard?

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      Originally posted by Kingfisher789 View Post
      Yea we need more on the foul mouthed “ trainer!”
      Ok.
      The trainer proceeded to tell us that we were the cause for the dog biting. Stuff like how we were the intruders into his house and that since he didn’t have his vest on that he was “off duty”!

      To my knowledge true service dogs never act in such a way. And since he is there to supposedly keep my Mom from falling, then he should never be off duty.

      She then told us that we know nothing about dogs and that we should come to her house so that she can help train us to be around him! I’ve been around dogs since I was 6, and even non-trained dogs have behaved better than that. If they didn’t, then suffered a consequence, usually a simple attitude adjustment.

      My wife is a 504 coordinator for one of the big high schools in SA and she deals specifically with students and staff that have true services dogs. She knows the law and the requirements surrounding these dogs. When she expressed this to the trainer and told her that she obviously doesn’t train the dogs right, that’s when she started in with the F-bombs and started threatening us.

      She never once apologized for the biting behavior nor did she offer the retrain the dog. It was always someone else’s fault and that she was a great trainer.

      Apart of me hopes someone reading this knows her. And if so, please tell her that she’s a stupid witch (forum won’t let me use the correct word) and she doesn’t know a f-ing thing about training dogs or supporting the clients she sells them to. I hope she gets mauled by one of her so called service dogs.

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        Anyone tried humping that dog till it pees?

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          Originally posted by kmack View Post

          Ok.
          The trainer proceeded to tell us that we were the cause for the dog biting. Stuff like how we were the intruders into his house and that since he didn’t have his vest on that he was “off duty”!

          To my knowledge true service dogs never act in such a way. And since he is there to supposedly keep my Mom from falling, then he should never be off duty.

          She then told us that we know nothing about dogs and that we should come to her house so that she can help train us to be around him! I’ve been around dogs since I was 6, and even non-trained dogs have behaved better than that. If they didn’t, then suffered a consequence, usually a simple attitude adjustment.

          My wife is a 504 coordinator for one of the big high schools in SA and she deals specifically with students and staff that have true services dogs. She knows the law and the requirements surrounding these dogs. When she expressed this to the trainer and told her that she obviously doesn’t train the dogs right, that’s when she started in with the F-bombs and started threatening us.

          She never once apologized for the biting behavior nor did she offer the retrain the dog. It was always someone else’s fault and that she was a great trainer.

          Apart of me hopes someone reading this knows her. And if so, please tell her that she’s a stupid witch (forum won’t let me use the correct word) and she doesn’t know a f-ing thing about training dogs or supporting the clients she sells them to. I hope she gets
          mauled by one of her so called service dogs.
          Thanks for the reply. What’s crazy is someone buys what’s she’s laying down every month. I bet her her husband is a piece of work too.

          Comment


            Originally posted by SmTx View Post
            Anyone tried humping that dog till it pees?
            I can't figure out why no one has kicked several of its teeth out and beat it like a rented mule...

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              My brother and I took the kids to a family place this morning to check cows. I have a crazy azz sister-n-law, and not just normal women crazy, medically treated for crazy. On the way home he tells me... oh ya, don't laugh or smile when you tell her hello this time. Apparently at Thanksgiving I laughed as I told her hello and she thought I was laughing at her and grilled my brother about what I know that she doesn't and all kids of weird stuff. She even discussed it with her looney doctor. Then we started making jokes about all the ways to say hello to her with out smiling or laughing. When we get that stuff in our heads, he and I can not keep straight faces and will make each other laugh until we can't breathe. When she showed up today I just avoided her all together because I knew we would not be able to hold it together.

              Comment


                Originally posted by RebeccaCreekKid View Post

                Where in Colorado? I'm sure she's a front ranger by her politics, but if it's anywhere near Grand Junction I could drop off a MAGA sign in her front yard?
                Steamboat Springs, CO.

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                  Not a dysfunctional family but a holiday story I think is pretty funny.
                  The neighborhood I live in does some pretty cool things like monthly happy hours and a monthly get together at a local restaurant. We also have a yearly Christmas pot luck with a white elephant gift exchange. Gifts can be mens, womens or either. I always choose to wrap up a mans gift. Majority of gifts are booze for all categories.
                  Last year was first year we had it since covid struck so wanted to do something special. I learned a couple decades ago that a live guinea hen or farm critter is not a good gift to wrap up and will not turn out well. Got the great idea of the perfect mans night alone gift last year. Wrapped up a bottle cognac, cigar and a blow up sex sheep. MC made some great jokes about it and it got stolen twice real quickly. I could hear a couple old biddies make comments about how it was not appropriate.
                  Now for this year wanted to find a way to top it and mess with the old biddies. Bought a couple fart machines. Wrapped one as a gift and the other I hid in the Christmas tree a couple hours before the party began. All gifts go under the tree and the MC is hanging out by the tree area while assisting the gift picker. Decided not to mess with the old biddies, really didnt want to embarrass them. First dude I got was the property manager. He is a big ole boy and when he bent over to get his gift I popped the remote and a good fart sounded off. He had a strange look on his face and MC had a hard time not losing it. I got a couple others and some folks watching are red in the face from holding back laughter while some chuckling and making comments about how powerful the beans must have been. MC was onto it after the third time so next time I popped that thing off he was waving his hand behind his butt taking credit for the farts. Finally a dude picked my gift and I let the fart machine rip multiple times. At that time folks caught on and could finally laugh out loud with confidence of not embarrassing the farter. Amazing how much fun you can have with a fart machine.

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by S-3 Ranch View Post
                    This is my sister and her “ friend “
                    Is that the sister on the left or right ... ?

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                      Originally posted by Dale Moser View Post

                      I can't figure out why no one has kicked several of its teeth out and beat it like a rented mule...
                      Dog or trainer?

                      Comment


                        Originally posted by Dale Moser View Post

                        I can't figure out why no one has kicked several of its teeth out and beat it like a rented mule...
                        For me, only because I have yet to be actually bit. Once it happens, guaranteed that dog will never get near me again! I can’t say exactly why no one else had disciplined the dog…

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                          Originally posted by TexasBob View Post

                          Dog or trainer?
                          Yes

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                            Agreed!

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                              Pretty tame, but we have to deal with my single childless toxic aunt. Easily the most negative person I know but has all the tells:

                              the coexist sticker on her Honda civic,
                              is a massage therapist,
                              religiously reads her horoscope daily,
                              has a cat named Moon Beam,
                              Worked for the government for years at some low level job,
                              Painfully unaware of others yet hypersensitive,
                              Super mouthy yet ignorant about politics,
                              Pushes essential oils and salts,
                              confrontational and angry,
                              insists on making a nasty broccoli and onion and nut dish and personally serving it to everyone,
                              and her name is Karen.

                              Comment


                                Originally posted by Double C View Post
                                Pretty tame, but we have to deal with my single childless toxic aunt. Easily the most negative person I know but has all the tells:

                                the coexist sticker on her Honda civic,
                                is a massage therapist,
                                religiously reads her horoscope daily,
                                has a cat named Moon Beam,
                                Worked for the government for years at some low level job,
                                Painfully unaware of others yet hypersensitive,
                                Super mouthy yet ignorant about politics,
                                Pushes essential oils and salts,
                                confrontational and angry,
                                insists on making a nasty broccoli and onion and nut dish and personally serving it to everyone,
                                and her name is Karen.
                                Good grief. I bet she's uglier than homemade soap, too.

                                Comment

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