divorce

[kyle]

So I posted a few weekes ago that my wife or 12 years wanted a divorce. I have done everything I can think of since then to be perfect to no avail. I love her and the kids we have together. She has filed and unless it becomes along draw out thing will be finalized February 8th. So what do I do now? What do I do with life? I worked my butt off for them, not for me. I wanted them to have the best of everything in life. I was going to school to be able to get a better job for them not for me. What do I do from here on out? I dont want someone new, I dont want to start over, I love her. I feel that I have failed at life because when we started a family I am suppose to support and take care of all of them forever and now thats not happening. I feel I am a failure as a man becausr I wont always be there for them, for all their needs. Where do I go from here? I have lost all motivation at work, towards school, towards anything. I dont want to go anywhere, see anyone, talk to anyone, do anything. At work I just sit starring at a screen all day, when I try to work I cant stay on task because my mind is spinning 1000 miles a min all about her. She supported me through 8 years in the navy, we have 3 kids. Things werent always the best but she always pushed me in the right direction. Without her I wouldnt be who I am today.

[Sparkles]

Just keep doing what you're doing for your kids sake.
You can still be the best dad you can be given the hand your dealt.
Make every minute you spend with them the best you've had.
My oldest lives 1400 miles away, I only get to see her 13 weeks a year, you just have to make your time with them count .

I'll keep you in my prayers Kyle

[Cull]

Time heals and all the motivation you need will come from the ones who call you "daddy".
So sorry to hear this.

[super_dave]

Kids.

[txjustin]

Time is the answer. I know you cannot fathom that now, but you will. Worry 100% about your kids, nothing else. Keep chugging along and everyday it will get better. Maybe not by a lot, but it gets better. Keep busy as best you can.

[popknott]

You can make the best of the situation by being her friend. It will make the divorce and being with the kids easier for sure.

[ted_kennedys_liver]

Brother I went through hell and just making the trip back - worst experience of my life. Will spare you details but keys just say anything and everything you can possibly think of in terms of allegations etc came up.

Best advice I can give you is don't let your emotions good our bad cloud your decision making. Believe me its hard. Let your attorney speak for you. You have to keep long term in mind. It is very hard making decisions now that will dictate life for many years to come.

Also know you can't make someone love you that doesn't want to our stay that has no inclination tho. Its hurts.......crushes you.

My separation and divorce went on for over a year. Cost neared six figures. It ruined my life. You get numb. I miss my daughter every day and it hurts today just as much as it ever has.

My thoughts and prayers are with you brother. Again don't let emotions get the best of you. Follow your attorneys advice and listen.to others experiences. Its amazing what comes up in.the future that at the time you think would never happen. Follow murphys law - what can go wrong will.

[kyle1974]

divorce

Just because you're not a husband doesn't mean you're not a father. Keep doing the best for your kids that you can. They need you now more than you need them. These things are hard on the little people.

[KactusKiller]

Have you told her what you just told us? I know alot of guys just have a hard time telling the one they love exactly how they feel.
Also who's too say that you have to loose your kids and not be there for them 100% all the time?

Good luck buddy and stay strong.

[dezigirl78]

The most amazing thing about heartbreak... it won't kill you.
It takes time to deal with all the emotions involved and get your life sorted. There are a million clichés and no one wants to hear them.

My suggestion is no matter how hard it is... get up, get busy - find something to focus on. Find a hobby that makes you feel good. Find a way to laugh - friends, funny movies, something to start bringing the positive back into each day. Over time, that positive will start to take over the negative.

And of course as stated above, love those babies and make every second count!

So sorry you have to deal with this.

[RascalArms]

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and take it day by day. I know it's hard to imagine but, as stated, time will heal. Keep busy, go hunting, fishing, or just find a friend and talk to them. Like me, there's lots of folks here on TBH that have gone down that road.

Sorry and prayers for you and the kids. Chin up!

[El Coyote]

Time to pull yourself up by your boot straps. Hire the best lawyer you can that specializes in Dads rights. You do that to get as much time with yours kids as you can. Try to get the 50/50 you get the kids starting on Wednesday through the following Wednesday. That way they spend equal time with both parents.

[Beerkat]

Don't loose focus on the beauty of life. The kids need you.

Adapt and overcome. Therapy might help you answer some of the harder questions.

[CoolArrow]

Focus on you not your wife. Kids are very resilient. They are busy focusing on their stuff.. School,friends,etc. just make the time you have with your kids special. Time and God will make things better. It's seems you are an intelligent loving man, I'm more than positive another woman will see what great qualities you have and God will make it happen. We all here on tbh are here for you. God bless you and your kids

[TXBuck74]

I've been bud and it ain't easy. I would ditto the other guys on here that tell you to pour your life into making it the best for your kiddos. Won't be easy but I've found the best way to overcome depression/saddness/hurt is to serve others. I know it sounds easy but you got nothing to lose. Best of luck to you and don't think for moment that God and your friends/family aren't waiting to help you. Prayers ^^ for you.