Divorced Men: Child Support

[txdukklr]

Thoughts from a divorced father...

1. NEVER and I MEAN NEVER make any informal payments...the law is very clear on this that informal payments do NOT carry any wait in the court system...

2. The rules and laws are set by the state and are pretty cut and dry on the percentages...don't be a s@#-head and try to get by with less...no matter what the situation, the children are the loser's in the divorce, don't make a bad situation worse...

3. I have no tolerance for "Father's" that don't pay child support...it amazes how many "men" and I use that term loosely, try to run from the responsibilty...newsflash...you because you can't get along with the Momma doesn't excuse you from the child/children...

Off soapbox...

preach on

amen

[txdukklr]

The other side has a financial responsibility as well.

Do the math unless i'm mistaken they are fulfilling it

[BrandonA]

Do the math unless i'm mistaken they are fulfilling it

As they should be. But their standard of living shouldn't increase due to the child support. PERIOD

and on the flip side. I still have to provide food, clothing, and shelter for the same child as well with zero financial compensation.

[cantexduck]

If the person who gets the money is spending it on toys and your kids are going without , then it is on the parent who is miss managing the money. As long as the kids are taken care of who cares what the ex has ? My step daughter is 15. I don't want to even add up the costs of hair cuts , clothes , hair crap , etc. She is real mindful on what we can spend on things but it all adds up.

[JackFlash]

NEVER go with a verbal handshake agreement on a divorce. She may have good intentions to begin with but that will most certainly change. Pay through the court. Don't ask me how I know.

[JackFlash]

Here is the problem with the justice system on divorce nowadays: 1. the laws are now slanted in everyway against the father. 2. no-fault divorce, she marries you , decides she wants out, and gets half of everything whether you like it or not. 3. you have to prove a mother unfit to get your kids or the court automatically awards custody to mom.

with the above mentioned, is it any wonder men are hesitant to marry nowadays?

ofcourse there are deadbeat sorry fathers, but what about the ones that aren't? what about the ones that were great husbands and dads and got totally screwed over by their loving wife when she decided she wanted to be "free"?

This is just my 2 cents. Every case is different, but we as a society have lumped all cases together to make law. NOT fair.

[eltacs]

sorry for those that are upset about paying the amounts that you do.
But - It is your kid.
LOVE EM, PROVIDE WHAT YOU MUST - WILLINGLY.
Change your attitude and your heart will follow.

Our CHILDREN are our LEGACY - Whether we or them do not like the situation.

[Puggy625]

what the mother thinks is irrelevant she may think a lot of things but the fact is that 90% of support is not enough.

let my ignorance run wild for a moment.

80% of the population makes under 100k so at 20% that's 20k $1667 a month and child support caps support payments for single child at $1710.

Average Texas income is $50,740 so the payment would be closer to $840.

so lets assume

1200 rent
400 car
200 insurance
300 groceries
300 gas

for a cost of living of $2400 that support payment represents 35%. This assumes that there is no money spent on another thing out there.

I don't really give a crap what my ex spends the money on. As long as she's not on drugs, not an alcoholic providing a stable environment and my kids can reasonably expect what they need.

Every guy that says "i'm not paying for my ex to have . . . . " do the math are you really paying enough to cover that extra AND the needs of your kid. You can't expect your ex to live in squalor just because your paying support or live below the standard of life you are in.

Well, think about this. How much of those expenses would the ex have anyway if there were no kids? Hmmmmmmmmmmm..............my guess is that about 75% of it they would have anyway. So, just for arguments sake, 75% of that $2400 is $1800. So $600 of that would be extra for accomodations for the kids (as it should be). So, of that $1500/month that I paid, $600/month accommodates the kids needs. Where did the other $900/month go? I wouldn't care if that money was only put in a savings account, actually I would have gladly went along with that. But, she is not under any obligation to prove where the money is spent. I'm drug through the perverbial mud about my financials to prove I'm paying "my share" and making **** sure every dime is accounted for. I paid the taxes on that money, she didn't. She gets money free and clear without any "obligations" to make sure it goes to the kids. Why isn't the same required of her?

[Puggy625]

sorry for those that are upset about paying the amounts that you do.
But - It is your kid.
LOVE EM, PROVIDE WHAT YOU MUST - WILLINGLY.
Change your attitude and your heart will follow.

Our CHILDREN are our LEGACY - Whether we or them do not like the situation.

You don't get the point being made by most on this subject. I would have gladly taken custody of them and raised them as a single dad. They would have been much better taken care of than they were by their mom. The point we are all trying to make is the absence of accountability of whomever is receiving the child support. THAT IS WHAT IS MESSED UP ABOUT THE WHOLE MESS. Trust me, most men who pay support, end up paying WAY more than the support compared to the other parent.

[Mike Javi Cooper]

I used to think the way most of y'all do, then I grew up had grandkids and realized I didn't pay anywhere near enough. At the time I thought I was getting screwed big time, now I know different. Wish I had provided more...

[txdukklr]

absence of accountability when your child is living in that home?

I really don't get it. This is the degradation of our society . . . not obama, not the dumbocrats, not government policy. It's the inability for us to raise our generations to exceed our accomplishments.

I can't pay enough to support my kids and would have paid even more to not have to be married to her. If you think there is a deficiency in whats being provided then make up for it.

I'm out I know my opinion isn't popular and I really do respect all of you. Just disagree strongly . . . . . .

[Puggy625]

You are right that this is the degradation of society. The inability of dads (and moms in rare cases) that want to be a part of their kids lives everyday, don't get to because of decisions of the other party. Not because we don't want to, we aren't/weren't allowed to be there. Do you get that? I'm certainly glad that you have the attitude that you do and have done with your situation. In my case, my ex wanted me to do more as well as pay more child support (more than was legally allowed) because, and I quote "It's my money and I want it"..................see the problem.

And for the record, just to prove a point to her and her lawyer, I agreed to pay the extra $300/month that they thought I should with the agreement that the extra be put into a savings account for the kids. With both of our signatures required to withdraw money from them. She obviously refused that and that's when she said the quote above. Again, see the problem with society..........she definitely attributed to it. And also for the record, she did and still does call me a deadbeat dad, even though I paid every dime required and more as well as tried to be involved with my kids as much as possible.

[Keg]

yes rational and due.

if the court said it then they examined his income and determined the percentage.

pay up . . . . .

anyone who thinks that 20-30% actually covers the care of your child should try and operate on that amount. I am a support payer and pay over the amount and cover all costs. I divorced that witch . . . . not the kids.

20% of income is standard for one kid.... After several years and lots of trouble we started receiving the first CS payments.... $600 a month.... That wasn't a drop in the bucket for one kid..but every penny helps.... She is 19 and we are still helping her out.... Guess who ain't?

[Jarrad]

sorry for those that are upset about paying the amounts that you do.
But - It is your kid.
LOVE EM, PROVIDE WHAT YOU MUST - WILLINGLY.
Change your attitude and your heart will follow.

Our CHILDREN are our LEGACY - Whether we or them do not like the situation.

I'm all for providing for your children in this situation. I don't think anyone here does anything less. I just want to see some accountability mandated to the receiver. That's not too much to ask at all.

[TreeNap]

I don't have a problem giving my last dime to ex if it's directly benefitting my child.

What I'll never understand is that the father has to provide the same things for the child as the mother does.

Let's say in an expanded standard situation.....

It's like 47% dad, 53% mom.

The dad has to pay for house, clothes, food, etc...everything that mom does AND pay mom.

Makes little sense to me.