When is enough enough?

[RascalArms]

Get a caller Id on your phone, and answer her calls only when you want. If you have something planned, then just let the phone ring. It is about time you took charge of your life.

^^^this^^^
Plus, start documenting calls and take pics of the texts. Divorce is hell and never easy on anyone. Sounds like she's figuring this out.
Unfortunately you have to move on too...do what's right by the kids but you don't have to be there for her every beck and call!

[Bleu]

Are you writing checks to this lady, or is it a 50/50 custody with no additional money changing hands?

Did she always have something else to do when you lived together?

[TexasCanesFan]

i'm going to be in the minority

go get your kids. . . . . as a child from a broken home and a Father of kids in a broken home i honestly never say no if I can.

No comes out when I can't. If yall were married you'd be equally yoked to those kids . . . . being divorced shouldn't change that.

but that's not going to be a popular answer

I agree with you. I was trying to find a polite way to disagree with all of the "tell her no" guys.

I would say though, if you have a meeting with your recruiter or tickets to something then just tell her you have plans. I would not detail what my plans were, not her business.

Just understand you may p!ss her off and go strictly to scheduled times only, which would suck too. This is a delicate balance.

You are getting used. SURE, but it is not just a simple "tell her no" on how to deal with it.

[Sharp Shooter13]

I hear what you're saying. My ex does the same thing to me. But, I'd drop whatever I have to make up for the lost time with my boys, even if it is just a ride to school.

It's tough to do that when you're being used by your ex...

[stinkbelly]

I am not in your situation, but I would jump through hoops for my kids. Don't do these things for your ex-wife, do them for your kids. When my parents divorced, my mom would do anything at anytime for me. My dad didn't. I remember that.

[txbowhunter08]

If your going active duty Id say spend as much time as you can with your kids. When I first joined my wife divorced be while I was in ait. My first 2 years in I saw my son for 14 days total.

[Bill]

I'd tell her you are happy to be a father and do what is needed for your kids, but she really needs to give you more notice and ask 'why do these things always come up at the last minute?'.

[Bily Lovec]

These are your kids man.... go get that free time with um...

[JHT]

She keeps calling you because you keep answering.

She keeps emailing you because you keep replying.

Get it?



Your enabling her to do whatever she wants by your being at her beck and call.

That being said I think for the sake of your kids what your doing is a good thing.

Hang in there. It will get better..

[El Coyote]

I wish my ex did that I would love to spend more ordinary time with my kids!! You don't realize how good you actually have it! There is not a show I wouldn't walk out of, a hunting trip I wouldn't cancel lose money over to spend MORE time with my boys!! Count your blessings before it gets taken away....IMO

[cvanbrunt]

i'm going to be in the minority

go get your kids. . . . . as a child from a broken home and a Father of kids in a broken home i honestly never say no if I can.

No comes out when I can't. If yall were married you'd be equally yoked to those kids . . . . being divorced shouldn't change that.

but that's not going to be a popular answer

This for sure. My current wife understands and never gets upset if I need to go get my boy. She is glad for the extra time with him too.

[cashcropper]

If you have an obligation then just tell her you cant. Its not up to you to explain why. BUT if you aren't tied up then pick them up and tell her you will bring them to your home and she can pick them up from your house later. You can spend more time with them and its kinda at your convenience.

[TX_Kevin]

i'm going to be in the minority

go get your kids. . . . . as a child from a broken home and a Father of kids in a broken home i honestly never say no if I can.

No comes out when I can't. If yall were married you'd be equally yoked to those kids . . . . being divorced shouldn't change that.

but that's not going to be a popular answer

my point is that the concept of "your still married" comes from the normal obligation. Your not married to her you are married to the kids.

Sean has this right. You have a responsibility to the kids. You may not be married to the wife anymore, but you are still the father to those kids. As parents we have to jump through hoops for our kids many times. Cancelling our plans, and planning our lives around them is pretty normal - as it should be.

You got this!

[Legdog]

i'm going to be in the minority

go get your kids. . . . . as a child from a broken home and a Father of kids in a broken home i honestly never say no if I can.

No comes out when I can't. If yall were married you'd be equally yoked to those kids . . . . being divorced shouldn't change that.

but that's not going to be a popular answer

yep

If I can do it, then by all means the answer is "yes" ...every single time. If I have other stuff that I can't avoid, then it's "no".

I never question why.

I don't need to know why.

All I need to know is the kids are available.

The net result is I can have them pretty much any time I want. And that ability is priceless.

[courtatlawjudge]

You are getting used, but it's not about you or her, it's about the kids. Whatever happened between the two of you, they didn't cause it and should be left out of it. Things like this have a way of working out in the end to benefit the guy that bends over backwards. Just smile and go on. You and the kids will be better for it.