When is enough enough?

[LonghornsATX]

So I got divorced recently, and it wasn't the most civil, and it was by no means rude/horrible...

I love my kids more then the world. They mean so much to me and they are the most important people in my life.

An average of 3-4 times a week my ex-wife calls me and says "Can you pick them up from school and have them stay with you, I had something come up". I love the extra time with my kids, but it's causing issues. I've had to cancel plans, missed two meeting with my recruiter to sure up my date for basic, missed shows that I've had tickets for (non refundable). Last night she called me asking if I can come to her house in the morning, pick the boys up and take them to school. I told her that the drive to school will be fine, it's less then 2 miles, and the roads she takes wont be iced over. I told her if the roads are bad I will come get them and take them to school. (Roads were not bad and they are safely at school) She proceeded to email me EVERY KVUE weather report they released last night.

When is enough enough? How do I tell her she can't call me at 5:30 and expect me to pick up the kids at 6:00? She fought me so hard to limit my custody...

She's a wonderful mother, and I'm happy to see the kids, I love taking extra time... But it can't be a call at 5:30 and expect me to pick them up at 6:00.

Any advice is much appreciated.

[Nova]

I would say fight for primary custody but it sounds like you are getting ready to ship out. Myguess is when you are gone she will find someone else to bail her out or toughen up.

[Graysonhogs]

So I got divorced recently, and it wasn't the most civil, and it was by no means rude/horrible...

I love my kids more then the world. They mean so much to me and they are the most important people in my life.

An average of 3-4 times a week my ex-wife calls me and says "Can you pick them up from school and have them stay with you, I had something come up". I love the extra time with my kids, but it's causing issues. I've had to cancel plans, missed two meeting with my recruiter to sure up my date for basic, missed shows that I've had tickets for (non refundable). Last night she called me asking if I can come to her house in the morning, pick the boys up and take them to school. I told her that the drive to school will be fine, it's less then 2 miles, and the roads she takes wont be iced over. I told her if the roads are bad I will come get them and take them to school. (Roads were not bad and they are safely at school) She proceeded to email me EVERY KVUE weather report they released last night.

When is enough enough? How do I tell her she can't call me at 5:30 and expect me to pick up the kids at 6:00? She fought me so hard to limit my custody...

She's a wonderful mother, and I'm happy to see the kids, I love taking extra time... But it can't be a call at 5:30 and expect me to pick them up at 6:00.

Any advice is much appreciated.

Now is enough. Unless she's reciprocating helping you when you need it, you're basically her b****. What is so important that comes up so often that she can't do what she's supposed to? You are being taken for granted IMO. I know you're in a tough spot. You want to take care of your kids, but it sounds like you a being taken advantage of. The line has to be drawn somewhere.

[Atfulldraw]

Just repeat after me....

"No"

Email her back a copy of the city map, list all the roads accidents didn't occur on this morning

Look her in the eye and tell her you, like everyone else in the world, are not at her beck and call.
You tell her by telling her.

[perfectstorm]

Sounds like y'all are still married.

[Boomerang]

sounds like y'all are still married.

lol

[Man]

Tell her no and hang up

[Tmag]

Sounds like y'all are still married.

Kinda what I was thinking, just in different houses. Tell her you can take them full time if they are becoming a burden to her and her plans.

[Cropduster]

Get a caller Id on your phone, and answer her calls only when you want. If you have something planned, then just let the phone ring. It is about time you took charge of your life.

[Wulver]

If you have limited custody and make a stand, expect to see them a whole lot less. This would be my fear.

[b.a.saha]

I would start documenting it all and fight for full custody. If that's not an option then do like atfulldraw said. It was the only way I was able to convey the message to my ex

[wsb1982]

My question is why? What is she doing that she needs you constantly at the last minute? Tell her you have no problems helping out more but you need advance notice. Like a previous person posted.. your still married just living in seperate houses.

[perfectstorm]

If you want to get more custody, call you lawyer & see if playing along with her and documenting it will achieve that.
If you don't, tell her no. If you don't answer calls or texts she may use that against you. "You're never there in an 'emergency' situation". Whereas if you pickup & say no, you at least know it wasn't a real emergency.

[txdukklr]

i'm going to be in the minority

go get your kids. . . . . as a child from a broken home and a Father of kids in a broken home i honestly never say no if I can.

No comes out when I can't. If yall were married you'd be equally yoked to those kids . . . . being divorced shouldn't change that.

but that's not going to be a popular answer

[txdukklr]

My question is why? What is she doing that she needs you constantly at the last minute? Tell her you have no problems helping out more but you need advance notice. Like a previous person posted.. your still married just living in seperate houses.

my point is that the concept of "your still married" comes from the normal obligation. Your not married to her you are married to the kids.