Let's talk about lying...

[trad"Doc"53]

Sorry about your illness. Now for your original question, to me it is lying. I can't stand to be lied too and hate it when my wife says,"I didn't lie to you, I just didn't tell the whole truth". Well to me omitting anything is not telling the truth. The whole truth will eventually surface sooner or later, best to get it on the table before bad feelings arise from it.

[Bill M]

IMO no one here can put ourselves in your parents shoes or yours. I have read all your threads and there is more at work here than many can comprehend. I can not imagine how my wife and I would react and navigate the multitude of emotions if one of our kids (35 and 33) came to us and told us they had a potentially debilitating and life threatening disease. They have to go from denial to placing blame on themselves and everything in between IMO. My advise to you and your family would to seek help through some type of counseling instead of tearing down and continuing to hurt each other.

FWIW most of the posts here only fuel a fire.

[blntrey3]

Dude that sounds like your parents are a bunch od A holes......what kind of buisness is it they run? What do you do at work.

From one veteran to the other thanks for your service!!!

[Cropduster]

Half a truth is still a lie. That is one of the devils best tricks. We have a president and his buddies that are always doing that and want us to believe them. They are just a bunch of fools trying to make people accept their positiion. No thanks !!

[robbyreneeward]

I don't know about everyone else, but I was raised to the point that my parents showed me what NOT to do. Just to be frank, my parents were both conniving, stealing, and lying individuals. Both did bad things that negatively affected my family. I vowed never to become like them. I had a family member work for me and had to fire them about eight years ago. My mother was a character witness for this person in an unemployment hearing over the phone with the state, and actually lied to the state in front of me over the phone knowing she was calling me a liar. So the whole comment about not calling your parents liars I disagree with. Right is right and wrong is wrong no matter who you are. That whole blood is thicker than water statement thing not comply with me. To me they were lying, and I'd have wanted them to be straight forward with me from the word go. I'm sorry to hear of all this, and thanks for your service. Prayers up!!

Please don't misunderstand me, I try to honor Gods commandments, even honor thy mother and thy father, but when they aren't honoring them I will not hesitate to call them out on it, as I would hope someone would do for me as well.

[bsimm78]

Let's talk about lying...

Is the company in trouble financially? Is your salary putting them close to going under? If not, I would think they are being stingy and not helping their son. If they are in trouble financially I can understand because it may end up costing them all their livelyhood. Tough situation, in this case its a no win situation and some understanding on your part is necessary, too.

No, actually we have had a pretty good year and a half. Good enough to get 3000.00 dollar bonus checks...which I tried to return because I didn't feel I earned it.

[2B4Him]

Is omitting information when asked a question the same thing as lying?

That is really a matter of semantics. If someone wants to say that 'lying' is saying something that is not true, then 'omitting' is not lying. But, your explanation goes on to say that they did say something that wasn't true - that nothing was wrong when it was.
However, to me, it's all about 'honesty'. And I think 'honesty' is broken even if you say nothing in a situation where someone is working under a false assumption - one that you allowed to continue by saying nothing or one that you created by a 'verbal cloud' that encouraged them to make erroneous assumptions.
Regardless of the label attached to it, your parents were definitely dishonest with you. But it sounds like you have not been particularly dishonoring of them in your approach to the situation, other than perhaps if you have been calling them 'liars'. While expressing your belief that they have been 'dishonest' or even that they 'lied' about the situation can be constructive, actually calling them (or anyone else) a 'liar' is not constructive and definitely leads to defensiveness on their part.
Honesty is not determined by whether or not the truth would hurt someone's feelings or avoid conflict.
When your wife asks if something makes her butt look big (when it actually does), you can say:
(1) 'No' - which is a lie.
(2) 'You look beautiful' - which, while it may be true, is also dishonest because you're creating a false assumption that it doesn't make her butt look big.
(3) 'Maybe something else could look better'. Perhaps this is not the answer she wants to hear, but if said in love she will eventually appreciate it more. AND your integrity/honesty will be in tact.

[Rudyl]

Man, this is a tough one.

[PROUDREDNECK]

I personally believe that it is lying to tell lead you to believe that the problem is something other than what it actually is. Even if they are trying to be nice or avoid confrontation. You are an adult that straight up asked a question and they misled you. I dont know, but there may be some solice in the apparent fact that they were trying to keep from causing more trouble and keep the peace with you, but lying is lying. They are not perfect and seemed to have chosen to lie to protect you or themselves. Its easy for me to say, but the best route would be to forgive them and move on. Nobody is perfect.

Agree on all the above...

[Atfulldraw]

sticking a label on someone is a good way to get an argument to continue.....

Resolution is going to require that ALL of you sit down and talk frankly about the situation without calling each other names.

I do wish you the best....

family does matter, sometimes they do the wrong thing while trying to do the right thing.

[Reaper33]

First off sorry for the guys that jumped your *** without knowing everything. You asked a simple question to a complicated matter. So the simple answer is yes, looking you in the face and not telling you what actually is bothering them is without a doubt a lie as your a grown man and can handle the truth regardless of how tough it may be. As far as the situation your in ill keep my mouth shut bc i dont know all the details and its really none of my **** business anyways. All i can say is that i hope it all works out for you as i can only imagine how tough it is for you to deal with. If you need anything in the future let us know as im sure any number of us would be more than happy to help in any way possible.

[Lewis Stafford]

your parents lied, you apparently are the issue, you both need to resolve this

this!!!!

[Roscoe]

IMO no one here can put ourselves in your parents shoes or yours. I have read all your threads and there is more at work here than many can comprehend. I can not imagine how my wife and I would react and navigate the multitude of emotions if one of our kids (35 and 33) came to us and told us they had a potentially debilitating and life threatening disease. They have to go from denial to placing blame on themselves and everything in between IMO. My advise to you and your family would to seek help through some type of counseling instead of tearing down and continuing to hurt each other.

FWIW most of the posts here only fuel a fire.

^^This^^

[Matt_C]

IMO no one here can put ourselves in your parents shoes or yours. I have read all your threads and there is more at work here than many can comprehend. I can not imagine how my wife and I would react and navigate the multitude of emotions if one of our kids (35 and 33) came to us and told us they had a potentially debilitating and life threatening disease. They have to go from denial to placing blame on themselves and everything in between IMO. My advise to you and your family would to seek help through some type of counseling instead of tearing down and continuing to hurt each other.

FWIW most of the posts here only fuel a fire.

I'm with Bill.

[deercrazy]

I'm 35 years old and I have Progressive-Relapsing MS which has progressed very rapidly in the 3 years since my first symptom, back in September 2010. The problem was about me it really all came to a head after my last MS Attack to my T-Spine where I basically had to learn to walk again. I was in hospital for 23 days and from my first day back at the office, that's when the problems started. Since they "my parents/employers" came clean, I have taken a cut in pay, cut in hours, changes in job responsibilities and have done everything I was asked to do.

They should have came straight to you and talked about it.
This is not your fault, but they do have a company to run.
Thats why working for family sux. I believe family comes first. They should have known ahead of time, and talked to you about who needed to start taking over the large work load.
JMO.