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Why are people getting divorced???

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    Why are people getting divorced???

    I hear about friends and family getting divorced all the time. It seems like the loons in Hollywood get divorced within 5 years of getting married. I see tons of threads on here about people getting divorced.

    So the question I have for yall who have walked that walk:

    1. what was the number 1 reason for divorce?

    2. did yall make an honest effort to make it work?

    3. For those who have been married for a significant amount of time (greater than 10 years), how did yall miss the problem and let it fester?

    4. Did yall actively had God in your lives during the marriage?

    I guess its hard for me to understand how people would throw it all away just like that. Now I can see certain circumstances, ie drug dependency, abusive relationships, cheating, etc, but I understand when I hear people say, "We just fell out of love".

    Help me understand.

    #2
    No foundation, no communication!!

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      #3
      This is my 19th year and im just 41

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        #4
        Number 4

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          #5
          Well coming from a guy that has been to the brink of divorce and back its not easy to explain. Our main issue was communication or lack there of. Got so far as having the papers filed which seemed to be a wake up call for both of us. We worked everything out and now we have been married 3.5 years and are expecting our first child.

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            #6
            Communciation or lack of is the number one problem IMO.

            Also, being a friend to your spouse instead of a spouse helps.

            Married 17 years.

            Yes, we had our ups and downs and still will have them.

            That is the life of marriage.

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              #7
              I hope I never get to that point. I love my wife with all my heart. Couldn't see being with anyone else.

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                #8
                Lack of communication plagues ALL marriages. But I think if you recognized it, yall already have that portion of the battle won.

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                  #9
                  Heavy weight gain in the woman


                  No but really lack of communication or some sort of money issues seem to be top reasons

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                    #10
                    You don't have the number 1 reason for divorce, and that is selfishness. Don't care how you slice it that's what it comes down too.

                    Marriage doesent work when one party is concerned more about them self than their mate. And today's "modern" marriage is generally comprised of 2 selfish people.

                    By the way yesterday was the 1 yr anniversary of saving my marriage, it coincides with the day I decided to quit being a selfish jerk
                    Last edited by Playa; 08-13-2013, 05:44 PM.

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                      #11
                      1) Infedelity???

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                        #12
                        I divorced after 9yrs and I think I was blinded by time. I was comfortable in my marriage and took for granted that I would go to my grave married to that woman. So much that I didn't see she didn't have the same thoughts, at least with me. Making sure God was part of our marriage would have helped but we both failed to keep God in our marriage.

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                          #13
                          Its no fun brother, but other than that its not something I'm talking about here.

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by Blood Trail View Post
                            I hear about friends and family getting divorced all the time. It seems like the loons in Hollywood get divorced within 5 years of getting married. I see tons of threads on here about people getting divorced.

                            So the question I have for yall who have walked that walk:

                            1. what was the number 1 reason for divorce? Infidelity, Lack of Trust, Lying, Deceit

                            2. did yall make an honest effort to make it work? yes, many hours & gobs of $$ in counseling & talking.

                            3. For those who have been married for a significant amount of time (greater than 10 years), how did yall miss the problem and let it fester? Was married 18yrs. I guess I didn't realize it would end the way it ended.

                            4. Did yall actively had God in your lives during the marriage? Early on, yes, for probably 12 yrs. After that, both showed our selfish side.

                            I guess its hard for me to understand how people would throw it all away just like that. Now I can see certain circumstances, ie drug dependency, abusive relationships, cheating, etc, but I understand when I hear people say, "We just fell out of love".

                            Help me understand.
                            .

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Infidelity is a big one. That's pretty much a deal breaker. Trust can never be fully re-established. Also, how the other spouse chooses to deal with the infidelity is a factor. We live in an ever-increasing "disposable" society. One analogy could be that no matter what the item is, if it gives us any trouble we as a society automatically say, " fixing it is too much trouble, I'll just get another one" and this mentality permeates most all layers of society, including marriage. People go into it with the attitude that if it gets tough or doesn't work then I'll bolt. Also there is no social stigma attached to it anymore, no matter what caused the divorce in the first place. It's become the rule and not the exception. Selfishness plays a big role also, like another poster said. People just don't hold marriage sacred anymore and I think that's sad and an eye opening indictment of where we are as a society today.

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