Why are people getting divorced???

[ZackM]

Till death do us part now means until im ready for something new......womens lib movement had a lot to do with it as well.....used to be a woman couldnt divorce her husband or shed be looked down upon even if he was a jerk......nowadays it is socially acceptable for either party to divorce anytime

Hmmmmmm.

[Shoalwater]

Number 4 is a huge reason, also I think our generation is unbelievably selfish. I'm 34 and included in that last statement.

I've been married 8 years and together for 12, we have two young boys 5, almost 3, and a third on the way. (Not planned, **** you antibiotics killing the birth control) Our marriage has had its ups and downs along the way, but we keep God actively open in our marriage, not just our individual lives. I can say without a doubt our faith has keep us together and gotten us through the tough times. It's who I lean on right now as struggle to come to grips with having a third child on the way. I was dead set against having a third, but God obviously has a different plan for me.

I also think that my generation is just plain lazy, we too often take the easy way out in our lives. It's easier to just get divorced than it is to work at it and stay married. My grandfather was married for 57 years, before he passed away, he would say, "Son, even at my age we still have to work at it everyday." Pretty wise words from a pretty wise man.

[miket]

Infidelity. Things werent good for a couple of years and she basically dropped out of the marriage and kids. She cheated and I got a lawyer. I had tried to save it ( but probably didnt try hard enough ) but after she cheated I was done. She gave me the house and kids in exchange for monthly payments.......I married again a couple of years later and after a couple of years things got rough.......she left and honestly I wrote her off. I basically said screw it, Ive been through enough but I didnt get a lawyer for several months. One day she called and begged me to let her come back. I told her I dont know. We talked and worked on things and finally told her she can come home. Things were different after that. After a while she showed me that she was in it for real now. After I started actually believing she actually loved me I allowed myself to be vulnerable again( tough for me ) and I actually started to appreciate her. To see the good in her rather than all her faults. Started to want HER to be happy. She, in turn, has done the same for me. It made me realize what I had done wrong in my first marriage. Its quite a sobering feeling when you slowly come to that kind of realization.

Didnt mean to be so detailed and run a little off track....

[Target-panic]

I hear about friends and family getting divorced all the time. It seems like the loons in Hollywood get divorced within 5 years of getting married. I see tons of threads on here about people getting divorced.

So the question I have for yall who have walked that walk:

1. what was the number 1 reason for divorce?

2. did yall make an honest effort to make it work?

3. For those who have been married for a significant amount of time (greater than 10 years), how did yall miss the problem and let it fester?

4. Did yall actively had God in your lives during the marriage?

I guess its hard for me to understand how people would throw it all away just like that. Now I can see certain circumstances, ie drug dependency, abusive relationships, cheating, etc, but I understand when I hear people say, "We just fell out of love".

Help me understand.

1) lies, infidelity and money
2) yes, until the lies to the counselor
3) n/a, divorced 23 years
4) not near enough

[TX_bowhunter37]

They dont value thier marriage as sacred

[Coon]

Read Ephesians 5.
Dave

[TXBlkCld]

You don't have the number 1 reason for divorce, and that is selfishness. Don't care how you slice it that's what it comes down too.

Marriage doesent work when one party is concerned more about them self than their mate. And today's "modern" marriage is generally comprised of 2 selfish people.

By the way yesterday was the 1 yr anniversary of saving my marriage, it coincides with the day I decided to quit being a selfish jerk

Amen brother. You took the words right outta my mouth. Good call.

[Playa]

Read Ephesians 5.
Dave

Absolutely this

[Daniel75]

Till death do us part now means until im ready for something new......womens lib movement had a lot to do with it as well.....used to be a woman couldnt divorce her husband or shed be looked down upon even if he was a jerk......nowadays it is socially acceptable for either party to divorce anytime

I'd call that progress. If I had a daughter, I wouldn't want her to have to stay in a marriage with a richard cranium so that people wouldn't look down on her.

[sharkhunter]

You don't have the number 1 reason for divorce, and that is selfishness. Don't care how you slice it that's what it comes down too.

Marriage doesent work when one party is concerned more about them self than their mate. And today's "modern" marriage is generally comprised of 2 selfish people.

By the way yesterday was the 1 yr anniversary of saving my marriage, it coincides with the day I decided to quit being a selfish jerk

X1000..... I always hear it takes two. However it only takes one of the two to totally distroy a family. It is unreal how Selfishness has taken over in today's society.

[J-DAWG]

1) Infedelity???

1)That's what I would guess... but that goes along with the selfishness thing.
2) Sure did, if I was told it was lack of time spent with her, it turned into "we don't have enough money" later on. .. just a revolving door for her.
After the third time of finding out about an "issue", I had enough of her mess. Coarse there are several other instances that I have found out about since the divorce that have just solidified in my mind that I made the right decision in getting the heck out and also have taught me who my real friends are!

[Pistol]

We're happily married almost 14 years now. It hasn't been easy, but it has been worth it!
If I had to describe our relationship in one word it would either be "Intense" or "Volatile" but in the end we love each other. Heck just this past weekend we were so mad at each other we were ready to call it quits but we decided to go for a beer instead!
(It was a lot cheaper!) LOL


Yeah, I know, that isn't what this thread is really about, or is it? I do agree with the selfishness. It's a killer and when one of us is being that way it causes the wrecks!

[BigL]

i'm going with selfishness with my ex.

There was no infidelity, we were very active at our church, etc. She had depression and didn't work. I would come home from work and she was still in her pj's watching tv. House not cleaned, dinner not cooked, just feeling sorry for herself. Then she found that spending money made her happy. We argued a lot about those things until she needed to "find herself". She had never lived on her own and wanted to prove to herself that she could make it.

I will say the whole thing turned me off of marriage and church. I really haven't been back since because of it. We went from being probably the most active people there to no one offering support or help and really acted like they didn't want me around so I quit going...

Best thing that happened to me in the long run though.

[elkbowhunter]

Cause its easy. Its like buying a new pkg of gum.

[Playa]

Cause its easy. Its like buying a new pkg of gum.

That's a false statement and until you have gone thru the process you do not understand how "hard" and difficult it is, & I suggest you keep your mouth shut.

It's very difficult to describe the emotional toll that process takes.