Botched Vasectomy

[daveally]

Dangit man, that sucked big time. Mine went off without a hitch. It just felt like somebody had kicked me in the boys for a couple of days. After that it was like nothing happened. Hope it all works out in the end.

[J-Bob]

While I hate to laugh at your pain, I was rolling. My wife has been on my behind about this procedure, and has accused me of being a wimp. (Which admittedly I am .) For me it has nothing to do with giving up my manhood....that was given up years ago when I got married anyway. I just fear this exact story. I have several friends and a brother in law who claim it was no big deal, back to work in a day or so. I have also heard a couple and now 3 horror stories. I think I am going to take a pass on this procedure. I hope you have a full recovery.

You are making the right call to avoid this. Nothing natural about having a dude cutting on you down there, but if you need a recommendation for a urologist, just let me know.

[salth2o]

The timing of your post is very bad for me.

Very sorry to read.

Me too.

This would be my luck, so I ain't doing it.

Sorry you are suffering, but I hope you get the truck of your dreams!

[elkbowhunter]

Still only the second best (worst?) vasectomy story I've read on TBH.

I was totally under for mine. They tried to give me a local, I squeezed it between my thumb and forefinger and it hurt like hell, so I told them I needed stronger. Doc called me a derogatory name that effectively means "wimp" and knocked me out.

Sorry for your difficulties. Hope the rest of the recovery goes better!

You should have banned him from being your doctor for awhile. For sure not the most fun operation in the world. I just bit on a piece of wood and drank a quart of whisky with mine.

[SAC]

I heard that the local was very painful so I was glad to be put under. I'm all recovered now (physically) and we laugh about it. Also, I don't know about you guys but sometimes I still get swelling in the left side before a big front is about to blow in.

Literal LOL

[Beerkat]

sorry for your pain, but man there was some funny parts in that story...

I was half laughing and half wincing the whole way through.

Hope you have a full recovery. Good luck amigo.

[NelsonV]

Wow!! Sorry to hear that. I was playing golf 3 hours after I had my procedure done. My dic had gentle hands

[Michael]

If I may, this was posted by our old friend Chuck in February 2005. One of the all time classics.

DOCTOR O'DONNELL'S TAPE DELAYED LIVE VASECTOMY
By chuck

The day dawned bright and I checked in at work to make sure that everything at my business was going smoothly since I was going to be off work through tthe weekend. It was Friday, so I finished up payroll and wished the crew well for the weekend and my wife dropped me at the doctors office. I had scheduled this for early in the day and I entered the office, the first person through the front door. Actually the clinic wouldn't even be open for 30 minutes yet. I was immediately ushered to the "private" room that would function as the operating theater.

After welcoming me and introducing me to his cute assistant, I got undressed and got on the table. The doc made his first local injection. The operation was to be done striclty under local anesthetics. The nurse got busy with the trimmin and soon we got a visit from another nurse. The doctor came back in and glued an electrode to my left buttock. About now there is a knock on the door.

The doc lets in the lady from the front counter, she needs some paperwork that is in a drawer in this room. She is embarrassed and appologizing profusly. The doc says, "Aww, he don't care, do ya?" Oh no fine with me, anyone in the waiting room hasn't been in yet? Doc makes his first incision, about 3/8" is all, and inserts a fish hook looking tool. He fishes around a bit and then pulls out the first vas defrens. There is shall we say some discomfort in this procedure and I complain of it.

Well, we can't have that, so I'm given another comple of injections. These are quite uncomfortabe as they are directly into the testes. We wait. Doc goes out and the helper gets chatty. So far I have been on the table for over 30 minutes or more and we have a "fish" out of water clamped off and nothing else. To my embarassment, Doc comes back and brings two women in business suits with him. I think they were pharmacutical salespersons. We all get introduced and finally they say they need to go.

They open the door and as they walk out, another female patient and a high school girl that works there are walking by on their way to another room and doc invites them in. Until they get into the room and the door closes they don't even know what is going on in here. The young girl shrieks and rushes out. The patient is now introduced to me. I am getting a little perterbed by now and doc sends her away.

Finally he grabs his little scissors and cuts about a three inch section from the vas. Then he takes his cauterizing tool and burns the cut ends to seal them and prevent any chance of their growing back. First one, then... hey, where's the ther one? It had retreated back inside. Well, nothing to do but fish it back, we have to sear it. Fifteen minutes of serious fishing finally results in the vas back in the open. He sears it. Smells just like branding cattle. Then he sends it home again. Now for the other side.

I'm thinking, "Finally!", let's get this over with and let me outta here. This guy is makin me crazy. He make his incision on the right side and in seconds he has his fish. Alright, this is getting better. He pulls out a good length and decides rather than the scissors, he will just cut it off with the cauterizing tool. Remember the electrode on my butt? I don't know if I lost my ground or what, but when he touched me with the cauterizer, I received about 740 KVA to the right testicle that exited through the point of the electrode.

I lit up light Burbank on Friday night. I could not hold back the scream. Of course tht brought some folks looking for what the problem was. At this point I'm nearly unconscious in pain. I complain quite verbosly and doc holds up my testes and squeezes them hard resulting in a great deal of clear liquid oozing and he says I can't give you any more deadener, look I can already squeeze it out.

He re-attaches his ground, uses his scissors, sears the ends, makes three stiches. Two left, one right, and I'm done. 2 and a half hours on the table. I went to the waiting room and called my wife to come and get me. She was there in ten minutes and I met her at the curb. Straight home to bed through Tuesday. I was hurtin for certain. Ice packs, only up to use the restroom. I went back to him in a week still barely able to stand. He gave me a bunch of pills and said take em all. I did.

Two months later I went to a specialist in Fredericksburg. He couldn't find anything still wrong but he had some ideaas of possible damages I might have sustained.

Regardless, when I went into the Drs. office I was running five miles a day. I could not run at all for over two years afterwards for the pain. I was out of operation, so to speak, sexually for several months. I'm still not the same as before and hold no hope of ever being so again. I know my case is the one in a million, but I have met a few others too.

I know one guy here in Kerrville who has a total disability because of his vasectomy. He has been through 4 operations to try and repair it in the last 7 years. He is 40 years old now. Mine was done 4 1/2 years ago or so and I am 45.
The ironic part is that we wanted to have my wifes tubes tied when our son was born twelve years ago, but the doctors refused to do it because the baby was not born under perfect circumstances and they didn't want us to change our mind down the road if he died. He didn't, we didn't either. So I had the vasectomy. Last year my wife had to have a historectomy anyway to save her life.

No need to be scared though. Odds are in your favor.

[Tmag]

That has to be the worst vasectomy story I have heard. Prayers for your complete healing this time J-Bob.

Sure glad my wife took care of it on her end, I have a high pain tolerance level but that would be off the chart.

[tmurray]

That was hilarious, I know you were being serious as well but that was funny stuff. Hope you stay good from here on.

[76truck]

Can't say anything but ....... sorry. Geez. You sir have exceeded the births of 45 children. Hope ya heal up SOON !!! Few more days till opening.

Side story. It was my turn to ride the ambulance and we were busy as usual. Finally around 2am i'm laying down hoping for some good sleep and few minutes later we get a call for stomach pains. I was already ****** and had it in my head no way are we going to the ER.

This ole boy is laid out screaming in pain, I can hear him from outside. We get inside and before I can ask a single question he pulls his shorts down and I swore he had someone in a headlock. Only he didn't. Poor guy had a massive inguinal hernia. I was wide awake and in pain with him. We got him to ER needless to say.

[elkbowhunter]

now that story should be in a Readers Digest in the bathroom. Awesome writing!!

[DS_1974]

Posts like this make me very thankful that I will never have to have this procedure!

[Raypo]

Yikes... My experience was I smelt a burning smell, bought some pees, watched some football, and then 100% within a couple of days... Sorry to hear that your hasn't been the same

[TyWebb]

Dang I'd almost rather them just take em after all that! Not really..... Hope you heal up 100%