Dealing with seperation

[JerryR]

Prayer sent brother. Me and my wife seperated for 8 months at one point after 10yrs of marriage. And we worked it out and are together and happier than ever. Give this situation to the Lord and it wont be easy. Ask the Lord to guide your actions, reactions and be your voice. The Love Dare is a great book and will help you grow spiritually toward God and your family. God Bless

JerryR

[clintb]

Been there done that twice. On my 3rd marriage now. There is nothing easy about it when the kids are involved

[Bonbonjovi]

fairly simple but very complex

Protect yourself legally......protect your kids emotionally

just remember the kids are NOT a bargaining chip, they are NOT a weapon, they are innocent bystanders with the most invested

its gonna get ugly...unfortunately that's just the cold honest truth

[VorTexan]

we have tried and tried to make it work.

plus now in laws have decided to involve themselves so its not looking good

You can't do it. God can.

You loved each other once and you have two lovely children. Fight for it!

[clintb]

fairly simple but very complex

Protect yourself legally......protect your kids emotionally

just remember the kids are NOT a bargaining chip, they are NOT a weapon, they are innocent bystanders with the most invested

its gonna get ugly...unfortunately that's just the cold honest truth

This,,, word for word

[biglew]

I went through a divorce years ago and would not wish it on my worst enemy. Do everything you can to salvage it. Nothing worse than having your ex hooking up with some guy and your kids start treating him and looking to him as a father. This particular thing did not happen to me, but it did a friend of mine and it nearly killed him. It doesn't help when the ex bad-mouths you to the kids either. He did everything he could to try to be a father to them and she still managed to push him completely out of their lives.

[shane21]

I wouldnt be able to do it

[asttbe]

I wouldnt be able to do it

Don't speak too soon. Just sayin

[BigJack]

I am new to this forum, but as a 17 year old who's parents divorced when I was in 6th grade it is the single most traumatic thing ever.

if you do get divorced take these couple things into account

Here are some mistakes that my parents made in the heat of the moment

1. keep us the heck out of it, my parents went to war and at 8 years old they told me I had to make my mind up and pick a side and used us as witnesses in court, fought and drug us with them through the mud.

2. Don't fight over holidays and who's turn with the kids it is, get your allotted half or w.e. but if the little un wants to see mom one day when it is not her specified day let him, being a kid and having my mom say I couldn't see my dad on xmas because it wasn't "his turn" really hurt.


3. As frustrated as you are don't let your kids see the fighting

Honestly my parents divorce ruined my relationship with both of them and I live in florida now 2000 miles away from my mom who lives somewhere in texas that I have not talked to in 4 years. My relationship with my dad is better because he never once told me I couldn't be around both of them and love them equally while my mom made me feel like a traitor everyday and told me I was a horrible son and said nothing but horrible despicable things about my father.

[Horitexan]

If y'all do separate, just keep the kids out of it - don't use them as leverage to deal with other issues between you and your wife. Pray your wife doesn't. It REALLY messes with the kids.

If it comes to divorce, the unfortunate reality is that you will get less time with your kids than you want. Unless there are extreme extenuating circumstances or a amicable agreement between you and your wife, the court will give primary custody to the mother. Its a sad reality and the sooner you wrap your head around it and accept it, the easier it will be on the kids. If it angers you to the point of making things more ugly, it will only hurt the kids.

So sorry to hear about your troubles and I hate to be the 'Debbie Downer' but I've watched this play out over and over and the only thing it did was hurt the kids and ruin their relationship with the father. I pray that y'all are able to get your marriage back in track - for the kids' sake, even more than for yours.


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[TXBlueEyes]

Do everything in your power to stay together! I know that is easier said than done! Leave all pride behind and do whatever you can...counseling....if she is willing.