After giving this presidential missive more scrutiny, I've determined it deserves a healthy dose of ridicule. .... the gibberish in bold are my comments.
1. Issue a Presidential Memorandum to require federal agencies to make relevant data available to the federal background check system. (such as who, the IRS? Veterans Affairs? Social Security Administration? Medicare? Timmy "tax cheat" Geithner? the agency who puts those tags on mattresses?)
2. Address unnecessary legal barriers, particularly relating to the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, that may prevent states from making information available to the background check system. (who determines what is "unnecessary"? Goodbye, doctor-patient confidentiality)
3. Improve incentives for states to share information with the background check system. (what kind of information? Child support, divorce decree, wills and trusts? Be specific.)
4. Direct the Attorney General to review categories of individuals prohibited from having a gun to make sure dangerous people are not slipping through the cracks. ("slipping through the cracks"? Who wrote this?, a junior college dropout? Seriously, this is a presidential document and you're using slang terms? What's next, Brawndo for the plants in the oval office? Do ATF bureaucrats responsible for Fast and Furious qualify as "dangerous people"?)
5. Propose rulemaking to give law enforcement the ability to run a full background check on an individual before returning a seized gun. (whoa...hold on there, pal, who seized my gun in the first place and why? Let me guess...Background checks on seized guns will be held once a year, every year on February 30th and may include a cavity search.)
6. Publish a letter from ATF to federally licensed gun dealers providing guidance on how to run background checks for private sellers. (shouldn't they know how to do this already? Do you not understand how gunbroker.com works? OK, let it be managed by the Department of Redundancy Department. Be sure to include a pictogram to distinguish between a clip and a magazine. Hit spell-check before you hit send, see number 4 above)
7. Launch a national safe and responsible gun ownership campaign. (You are too late. We have this already. We like to call it: The National Rifle Association. Check out that "Eddie the Eagle" program for some pointers on how to teach gun safety. )
8. Review safety standards for gun locks and gun safes (Consumer Product Safety Commission). (Do we really need a "gun safe safety standard"? How about the CPSC focusing on keeping toxic substances out of the Walmart crap we import from China and leave my safe alone?)
9. Issue a Presidential Memorandum to require federal law enforcement to trace guns recovered in criminal investigations. (trace it to where?, wouldn't you need a registration database to make this possible? Hmmm, nice try, Mr. Gun-grabber.
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10. Release a DOJ report analyzing information on lost and stolen guns and make it widely available to law enforcement. (instead of a report full of propaganda that no one will read anyway, why don't you focus on returning stolen guns to their rightful owners? Start with the pawnshops. HINT: all the lost guns are at the bottom of our nation's lakes and rivers. Duh.)
11. Nominate an ATF director. (I nominate Ted Nugent, Ronnie Barrett, Larry Potterfield, R. Lee Ermey, or any season winner on The History Channel's Top Shot, your choice)
12. Provide law enforcement, first responders, and school officials with proper training for active shooter situations. (now we're getting somewhere, but shouldn't law enforcement already have proper training? If they don't, then we're no better off than if we arm teachers, right? A side benefit of armed teachers: little Johnny who acts up in school might think twice about attacking the english teacher if Ms. Participle packs a Glock.)
13. Maximize enforcement efforts to prevent gun violence and prosecute gun crime. (tell me again what we're paying the DOJ to do now, exactly? Aren't gun prosecutions DOWN since you took office? How much gun violence occurs on the southern border and elsewhere because you don't "maximize enforcement" of immigration laws?)
14. Issue a Presidential Memorandum directing the Centers for Disease Control to research the causes and prevention of gun violence. (I'll save them the trouble: it's mostly caused by drug gangs, drug dealers, drug users, drug cartels and illegal aliens, habitual criminals released from jail early by wimpy judges, a few second-string NFL and NBA players, and a tiny handful of random crazies. Prevention: more guns, less crime. It's been proven, just accept it.)
15. Direct the Attorney General to issue a report on the availability and most effective use of new gun safety technologies and challenge the private sector to develop innovative technologies. (So, Eric Holder's an engineer, a metallurgist, a physicist, and a firearms designer? Who knew?)
16. Clarify that the Affordable Care Act does not prohibit doctors asking their patients about guns in their homes. (does it prohibit patients from telling doctors to go pound sand when they ask about guns in the homes? Did you actually say "clarify the Affordable Care Act"? Hahahaha, it's already 2400 pages!)
17. Release a letter to health care providers clarifying that no federal law prohibits them from reporting threats of violence to law enforcement authorities. (shouldn't this one be higher than number 17? Seriously, isn't this the heart of the matter? Or, how about a federal law REQUIRING health providers to report threats of violence? Or does the ACLU prohibit this?)
18. Provide incentives for schools to hire school resource officers. (Can we dispense with the "resource" euphemism? We want big, scary, trained security guards or off-duty LEOs with high capacity mags. No crazy person is detered by a "resource" officer.
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19. Develop model emergency response plans for schools, houses of worship and institutions of higher education. (Woohoo!, this means we get rid of "gun-free zones", right?)
20. Release a letter to state health officials clarifying the scope of mental health services that Medicaid plans must cover. (correction, make that 2500 pages)
21. Finalize regulations clarifying essential health benefits and parity requirements within ACA exchanges. (2600)
22. Commit to finalizing mental health parity regulations. (wait, what is "mental health parity" and is Nancy Pelosi involved?)
23. Launch a national dialogue led by Secretaries Sebelius and Duncan on mental health (and put the inmates in charge of the asylum.)
1. Issue a Presidential Memorandum to require federal agencies to make relevant data available to the federal background check system. (such as who, the IRS? Veterans Affairs? Social Security Administration? Medicare? Timmy "tax cheat" Geithner? the agency who puts those tags on mattresses?)
2. Address unnecessary legal barriers, particularly relating to the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, that may prevent states from making information available to the background check system. (who determines what is "unnecessary"? Goodbye, doctor-patient confidentiality)
3. Improve incentives for states to share information with the background check system. (what kind of information? Child support, divorce decree, wills and trusts? Be specific.)
4. Direct the Attorney General to review categories of individuals prohibited from having a gun to make sure dangerous people are not slipping through the cracks. ("slipping through the cracks"? Who wrote this?, a junior college dropout? Seriously, this is a presidential document and you're using slang terms? What's next, Brawndo for the plants in the oval office? Do ATF bureaucrats responsible for Fast and Furious qualify as "dangerous people"?)
5. Propose rulemaking to give law enforcement the ability to run a full background check on an individual before returning a seized gun. (whoa...hold on there, pal, who seized my gun in the first place and why? Let me guess...Background checks on seized guns will be held once a year, every year on February 30th and may include a cavity search.)
6. Publish a letter from ATF to federally licensed gun dealers providing guidance on how to run background checks for private sellers. (shouldn't they know how to do this already? Do you not understand how gunbroker.com works? OK, let it be managed by the Department of Redundancy Department. Be sure to include a pictogram to distinguish between a clip and a magazine. Hit spell-check before you hit send, see number 4 above)
7. Launch a national safe and responsible gun ownership campaign. (You are too late. We have this already. We like to call it: The National Rifle Association. Check out that "Eddie the Eagle" program for some pointers on how to teach gun safety. )
8. Review safety standards for gun locks and gun safes (Consumer Product Safety Commission). (Do we really need a "gun safe safety standard"? How about the CPSC focusing on keeping toxic substances out of the Walmart crap we import from China and leave my safe alone?)
9. Issue a Presidential Memorandum to require federal law enforcement to trace guns recovered in criminal investigations. (trace it to where?, wouldn't you need a registration database to make this possible? Hmmm, nice try, Mr. Gun-grabber.
)10. Release a DOJ report analyzing information on lost and stolen guns and make it widely available to law enforcement. (instead of a report full of propaganda that no one will read anyway, why don't you focus on returning stolen guns to their rightful owners? Start with the pawnshops. HINT: all the lost guns are at the bottom of our nation's lakes and rivers. Duh.)
11. Nominate an ATF director. (I nominate Ted Nugent, Ronnie Barrett, Larry Potterfield, R. Lee Ermey, or any season winner on The History Channel's Top Shot, your choice)
12. Provide law enforcement, first responders, and school officials with proper training for active shooter situations. (now we're getting somewhere, but shouldn't law enforcement already have proper training? If they don't, then we're no better off than if we arm teachers, right? A side benefit of armed teachers: little Johnny who acts up in school might think twice about attacking the english teacher if Ms. Participle packs a Glock.)
13. Maximize enforcement efforts to prevent gun violence and prosecute gun crime. (tell me again what we're paying the DOJ to do now, exactly? Aren't gun prosecutions DOWN since you took office? How much gun violence occurs on the southern border and elsewhere because you don't "maximize enforcement" of immigration laws?)
14. Issue a Presidential Memorandum directing the Centers for Disease Control to research the causes and prevention of gun violence. (I'll save them the trouble: it's mostly caused by drug gangs, drug dealers, drug users, drug cartels and illegal aliens, habitual criminals released from jail early by wimpy judges, a few second-string NFL and NBA players, and a tiny handful of random crazies. Prevention: more guns, less crime. It's been proven, just accept it.)
15. Direct the Attorney General to issue a report on the availability and most effective use of new gun safety technologies and challenge the private sector to develop innovative technologies. (So, Eric Holder's an engineer, a metallurgist, a physicist, and a firearms designer? Who knew?)
16. Clarify that the Affordable Care Act does not prohibit doctors asking their patients about guns in their homes. (does it prohibit patients from telling doctors to go pound sand when they ask about guns in the homes? Did you actually say "clarify the Affordable Care Act"? Hahahaha, it's already 2400 pages!)
17. Release a letter to health care providers clarifying that no federal law prohibits them from reporting threats of violence to law enforcement authorities. (shouldn't this one be higher than number 17? Seriously, isn't this the heart of the matter? Or, how about a federal law REQUIRING health providers to report threats of violence? Or does the ACLU prohibit this?)
18. Provide incentives for schools to hire school resource officers. (Can we dispense with the "resource" euphemism? We want big, scary, trained security guards or off-duty LEOs with high capacity mags. No crazy person is detered by a "resource" officer.
)19. Develop model emergency response plans for schools, houses of worship and institutions of higher education. (Woohoo!, this means we get rid of "gun-free zones", right?)
20. Release a letter to state health officials clarifying the scope of mental health services that Medicaid plans must cover. (correction, make that 2500 pages)
21. Finalize regulations clarifying essential health benefits and parity requirements within ACA exchanges. (2600
)22. Commit to finalizing mental health parity regulations. (wait, what is "mental health parity" and is Nancy Pelosi involved?)
23. Launch a national dialogue led by Secretaries Sebelius and Duncan on mental health (and put the inmates in charge of the asylum.
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