Can someone explain...

[miket]

This is a gross generalization but I think three main factors are example, expectations and social capital. Example: seeing your parents work hard to become successful and improve their standard of living helps instill a work ethic and delayed gratification. You know it can be done - you've seen and experienced it. Expectations: you are expected to perform well in school and make something of yourself ("it's what we do, it's the kind of people we are") Pressure not to drop the family ball. Social capital: This is very powerful as the generations roll on. There are many definitions but simply put it's the positive benefits you get from connections your family has built over the years.

Obviously there are very successful people that had none of the above and losers that had all of the above. I have seen the 3rd generation curse mentioned above many times with my clients. The second generation saw what it took for their parents to get rich and they follow accordingly. The third generation grows up in the private school and country club set and is more likely to feel entitled. Things are more likely to fall apart from there

IMO that pretty much sums it up right there.

[E.TX.BOWHUNTER]

My wife and I are not rich. Neither of us went to college. We are frugal, use coupons, buy on sale not on impulse. We are patient with spending and savings. This is the example we set for our kids. They have paid attention and they will talk money and budgets with us all the time. 2 of our kids have done very well with what they have. Our other kid is also doing well. He is much more frugal and modest than the other 2 girls. I guess what I’m saying is it’s the knowing of how to use money for your goals is what leads to wealth. Spending money is way too easy but teaching your kids how to use the money you have now and in the future pays off hopefully for generations.

[HogHunter34]

Jerp wins the internet today. Great response and spot on. I agree setting that example before them to be fiscally responsible and manage things well.

[Huntingfool]

good thread - heard a guy say years ago that the greatest gift you can give your children is a good marriage with their Mother. The second greatest gift is to teach them how to work - even though we made good money through the years my two kids new that they would have to make their own way once they were adults and they have both done so

[Burnadell]

jerp explained it well.

[Big Lee]

Jerp hit the nail on the head.

I think it falls on one word. Expectations. That can come from your parents or from within.

There's several testimonies on TBH about growing up rough, drugs in the family etc. Those individuals are now successful. Their Expectations came from within.

[bughunter]

My wife and I are not rich. Neither of us went to college. We are frugal, use coupons, buy on sale not on impulse. We are patient with spending and savings. This is the example we set for our kids. They have paid attention and they will talk money and budgets with us all the time. 2 of our kids have done very well with what they have. Our other kid is also doing well. He is much more frugal and modest than the other 2 girls. I guess what I’m saying is it’s the knowing of how to use money for your goals is what leads to wealth. Spending money is way too easy but teaching your kids how to use the money you have now and in the future pays off hopefully for generations.

x2

[Kevin]

Another point on the entrepreneurial side is having the ability to fail. If you have a safety net you can take bigger risks.

[ThisLadyHunts]

Not to hijack but for the sake of argument how about this: If a generation is 20-30 years we are in the 3rd generation since desegregation of the public school system. Is it fair to say that there are no advantages in the public school system and that all are given the same opportunities regardless of race? And if so,does that mean that since we are into the 3rd generation of graduates into the work place does this mean there are no more advantages in the work place due to race?

Sadly, this is not a fair statement at all.

I spent many years as a volunteer board member of the Adopt-a-School program in one of school districts in my area. Additionally, I was also a parent to a child who went to public in a neighboring district. Here’s what I observed: both districts with which I interacted consistently directed a far greater amount of funding to financially and socially disadvantaged children in their districts than they did to children who come from families that place a high value on education and, therefore, direct more of the family’s resources to their children.

These monies come from a variety of sources: the school districts via legislative and SBE mandates (through tax revenues), the U.S. Department of Education, grants and other foundational monies, and donations.

First and foremost, I believe we are ALL called upon to serve those in need, and, on paper, this should be a benefit to society…an educated populace is a worthy investment, economically and in terms of productivity. “A rising tide lifts all boats,” as the saying goes.

However, what sounds good in theory does not translate into reality as school districts who are chronically underfunded are forced to divert more and more of their limited and finite funds away from the average and gifted students and, exponentially, toward the “underserved” children in order to meet state and federal mandates. In other words, we are investing billions of dollars into educating children who do not come to school interested or ready to learn and there is little to show for this investment.

In addition, we are choking the revenue streams, almost to barely a trickle, by neglecting to invest in a population of children who are willing to put forth the effort into more positive outcomes.
Yes, I still believe that these underserved communities need help. However, when it comes at the expense of your kid, my kid, and all the children who are sent to learn and with high expectations of positive outcomes, society as a whole suffers.

[Barney1971]

Sadly, this is not a fair statement at all.

I spent many years as a volunteer board member of the Adopt-a-School program in one of school districts in my area. Additionally, I was also a parent to a child who went to public in a neighboring district. Here’s what I observed: both districts with which I interacted consistently directed a far greater amount of funding to financially and socially disadvantaged children in their districts than they did to children who come from families that place a high value on education and, therefore, direct more of the family’s resources to their children.

These monies come from a variety of sources: the school districts via legislative and SBE mandates (through tax revenues), the U.S. Department of Education, grants and other foundational monies, and donations.

First and foremost, I believe we are ALL called upon to serve those in need, and, on paper, this should be a benefit to society…an educated populace is a worthy investment, economically and in terms of productivity. “A rising tide lifts all boats,” as the saying goes.

However, what sounds good in theory does not translate into reality as school districts who are chronically underfunded are forced to divert more and more of their limited and finite funds away from the average and gifted students and, exponentially, toward the “underserved” children in order to meet state and federal mandates. In other words, we are investing billions of dollars into educating children who do not come to school interested or ready to learn and there is little to show for this investment.

In addition, we are choking the revenue streams, almost to barely a trickle, by neglecting to invest in a population of children who are willing to put forth the effort into more positive outcomes.
Yes, I still believe that these underserved communities need help. However, when it comes at the expense of your kid, my kid, and all the children who are sent to learn and with high expectations of positive outcomes, society as a whole suffers.

agree 100% esp with the last paragraph-- our public school system is in a steep nosedive, a lot of school districts are lowering the bar for the kids that dont want to be there, so the parents of the better students that want to learn and go to college are pulling their kids and putting them in online schools, or home schooling. so its a snowball effect. i have a family member who was a teacher for almost 20 yrs.. she couldnt take it anymore, quit and was hired by an online high school program that is exploding. She now works from home and almost doubled her salary.

[cashcropper]

Thank you Ma"am,I appreciate your insight. I also agree with "A rising tide" but not at the expense of hamstringing others.

[bullets13]

This is a gross generalization but I think three main factors are example, expectations and social capital. Example: seeing your parents work hard to become successful and improve their standard of living helps instill a work ethic and delayed gratification. You know it can be done - you've seen and experienced it. Expectations: you are expected to perform well in school and make something of yourself ("it's what we do, it's the kind of people we are") Pressure not to drop the family ball. Social capital: This is very powerful as the generations roll on. There are many definitions but simply put it's the positive benefits you get from connections your family has built over the years.

Obviously there are very successful people that had none of the above and losers that had all of the above. I have seen the 3rd generation curse mentioned above many times with my clients. The second generation saw what it took for their parents to get rich and they follow accordingly. The third generation grows up in the private school and country club set and is more likely to feel entitled. Things are more likely to fall apart from there

Agree with this a lot. There are also some less obvious things that make a big difference such as better pre-natal care, better medical care over the course of a lifetime, safer home environment, more family support, better educational opportunities, even healthier diets. All of those things will lead to (on average) more successful kids.

[dosrobles]

Tons of great, insightful answers. Jerp summarized it well. My wife and I are probably in the low end of upper middle class. I think the generational help we got from family was a combination of resources and educational expectation. Both our families are in pretty solid financial shape but we do not take money from anyone. BUT, we both had our college educations and related expenses totally covered so no debt or concerns about said debt (which makes the education equation pretty iffy).

People in my family have been going to college since before fire was invented. It was never even considered as an option for me. Heck, I didn’t have any skills other than drinking when I graduated HS.

I suspect the luxury of spending an additional 5 years growing up in college helped me a great deal. Just my 2 cents worth.

[LWD]

Looking for good thought out answers not just off the top of head remarks.

When someone becomes successful and now the family has money, not stupid money but well off, how does that give their kids and grandkids an far bigger edge to also be very successful?

Yes, very well off people can have very unsuccessful kids. But seems like money runs in the family for many generations. Curious exactly how that works aside from a big business staying in the family.

Is it simply "know how"?

You have the money to provide opportunities and experiences that others don't get. It's more than college. It's summer camps and cultural experiences and club memberships and not having to work a couple of crappy part time jobs while going to school and things like that. The kids see and learn the things that help them decode life.

Too many people get some money and use it give things to their kids. Sports cars and flashy clothes and such. That's a mistake. Use the funds for things that build them as people.

[Pedernal]

Great insight/advice on this thread! Wish more people would realize that it’s not just sending the kids to school that makes them successful. IMHO what they learn at home, knowledge gained through their social network and the family’s social network is just as important or even more important.