Dad jokes

[kmack]

That was funny, Artos!

[IDFWU]

Did you hear about the guy that invented the knock knock joke? He won the No Bell prize.

The economy these days is in the dumpster. I heard the company that makes yard sticks aren’t going to make them any longer.

[dosrobles]

What do you call a fish that goes to medical school?

a sturgeon

Where do pirates buy their hooks?

The second hand store

what do you call a spy in a bathtub?

Bubble 0 7

what do you call a teacher that won’t fart in public?

A private tooter

[Preacher Man]

Why is a pool table green?

If somebody racked your balls you’d be green too.

I read an article recently that said that 85% of Americans can’t do basic math.

Thank goodness I’m in the other 25%.

[Texas Grown]

I had a pair of racing snails . I removed their shells to make them more aerodynamic . But it only made them sluggish.

[Texas Grown]

I'm feeling pretty proud of my self. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years. But I finished it in 18 months.

[Texas Grown]

There are two types of people in this world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data...

[Beleg]

What’s the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer? The taste.

[Beleg]

Nurse to doctor, “Doctor, there’s a man in the waiting room that thinks he’s invisible”. Doctor, “Tell him I can’t see him today”.

[lanceodom]

What is the difference between boogers and broccoli? Kids don't eat broccoli.....

[bullhead44]

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in the ocean?

Bob

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in an envelope?

Bill

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs on a stage?

Mike

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in front of a door?

Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs hanging on a wall?

Art

What do you call an Irishman with no arms and legs laying by your pool?

Paddy O' Furniure

[Sasqy]

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in the ocean?

Bob

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in an envelope?

Bill

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs on a stage?

Mike

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in front of a door?

Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs hanging on a wall?

Art

What do you call an Irishman with no arms and legs laying by your pool?

Paddy O' Furniure

Greatness !

[BowSlayer]

I saw a radio at a garage sale with a note attached that read "Volume stuck on high".
I thought to myself, "You can't turn that down".

A guy came by my office yesterday selling coffins
I told him that's the last thing I need