What was the dumbest thing

[Hogmauler]

That one of the smartest people you know ever did? And it can’t be marrying your ex. I’ll kick it off.
My FIL, God rest his soul, was a chemical engineer and a wealthy one at that. He had a cell phone but wouldn’t use it cause he “didn’t wanna use” his minutes. So he left it in his truck while working at his ranch.
He decided to wash is squeeze shoot out and while backing out tripped and pulled the handle somehow and locked it around his neck. It was an old Prefert I believe and couldn’t tell you how he did it but he did.
According to him “Everytiime I moved it tightened up”. He couldn’t call anyone so finally after an hour or so he decided to just go ahead and tear his ears off. He did get out. And, his ears were red and scratched up. We laughed about it till the day died. RIP Louie. You can’t take it with you or make this shat up.

[okrattler]

One of my buddies is one of the smartest people I know as far as being book smart. His wife told him Melatonin made her birth control not work and he still believes it to be true. He can't even sleep too close to her without her getting pregnant and can't figure out why they keep having kids. He's an idiot. I can't figure out how a person that's so good at math can't figure out that his thing+her thing=crying,crapping, screaming kids.

[Hogmauler]

Lol!

[Gumbo Man]

That one of the smartest people you know ever did? And it can’t be marrying your ex. I’ll kick it off.
My FIL, God rest his soul, was a chemical engineer and a wealthy one at that. He had a cell phone but wouldn’t use it cause he “didn’t wanna use” his minutes. So he left it in his truck while working at his ranch.
He decided to wash is squeeze shoot out and while backing out tripped and pulled the handle somehow and locked it around his neck. It was an old Prefert I believe and couldn’t tell you how he did it but he did.
According to him “Everytiime I moved it tightened up”. He couldn’t call anyone so finally after an hour or so he decided to just go ahead and tear his ears off. He did get out. And, his ears were red and scratched up. We laughed about it till the day died. RIP Louie. You can’t take it with you or make this shat up.

You should have drenched him and hit him for black leg while he was locked in.

[Hogmauler]

Nope. I woulda sprayed him for flies!

[glen]

Good high school friend. Number #1 in class actually. Had a cool Christmas “Leg Lamp” and when the light bulb burned out he threw it away. He t didn’t know about replaceable bulbs. He also about killed himself by warming his car up in the garage while he took a shower- Ended up in hospital on that on. Has zero sense. But makes a lot of money

[elhefe]

My son is literally brilliant. Full academic scholarship, top of his class knows multiple languages etc…. It took me forever to teach him that when you get dressed you put your pants on first and not your shoes. Not vice versa. Dumbest smart kid I ever saw. Love him so much.

[Hogmauler]

My son is literally brilliant. Full academic scholarship, top of his class knows multiple languages etc…. It took me forever to teach him that when you get dressed you put your pants on first and not your shoes. Not vice versa. Dumbest smart kid I ever saw. Love him so much.

Daaaang! That’s funny as hail right there! And he’ll be laughing all the wAy to the bank

[Drycreek3189]

All my stories are about me and y’all ain’t ever gonna hear them…….

[flywise]

Not that I’m the smartest person I know but I did do something really stupid when I was 9-10. Dad dropped me off at the deer stand with a full thermos full of coffee on one of the coldest days id ever experienced. Probably in the low 20’s and my toes HURT. So, from time to time I’d pour some of that hot coffee into my boots. Worked wonderfully until I ran out of coffee. Let me tell you, those toes will **** near fall off if you soak them in a liquid when the temps are in the 20’s. I still get it from the entire family

[Hogmauler]

All my stories are about me and y’all ain’t ever gonna hear them…….

Maybe this will bring you out of hiding drycreek. Back in my Marine Corps days a guy brought me one of those “bull worker springs”. You know, the ones that have the handle on each end.
Well I got it doubled over and one side slipped out of my hand and hit me under the chin. It got dark for a sec, then the light came back. The barracks was cracking up until the blood started.
Ended up having to go to sick bay at 01.30. The Corpsman was ******! He came out screaming “I so f ing sick of you f ing jar heads fighting all the time and f ing with my sleep”! I will never forget how mad that Sailor was. And I wasn’t the smartest person in the room either. That was 1976 and I remember it like yesterday. Smh

[Greenheadless]

Have a buddy that has a law degree from a prestigious law school, and two advanced law degrees. Poor sucker would burn to death in a building, if there was more than one dead bolt he would have to navigate to get out of the building. Seen the multiple deadbolt dance many of times with his.

As they say, bless his heart.

[Burnadell]

All my stories are about me and y’all ain’t ever gonna hear them…….

I'm not too proud!

A number of years ago we had a lease west of San Saba. I was driving a Suburban back then, and 3 of us had our stuff piled into the back. Somebody needed something out of their bag, so I pulled over on Hwy 16, just outside of Goldthwaite to retrieve whatever they needed. As luck would have it, my buddy, Mike, who will be at Bownanza with me, had his rigged Mathews bow laying (with no case) on top of our bags, so I put it on top of my Suburban while digging through the bags. I checked my trailer tires and 4 wheeler straps, and we got back in and took off for the lease. A few mile down the road, as we topped a hill, we heard a noise, and felt my trailer run over something; strange because I didn't see anything in the road before we ran over it. Well, we get to the lease and started pulling our stuff out, and Mike asked, "where's my bow?" I immediately got a sinking spell as I realized what we had run over 30 or so miles back.

I let him hunt with my bow that evening while I went back to retrieve the bow...anxious. When I found it, it had exploded when it hit the pavement, and probably run over by several trucks. I found the string, the limbs, riser, and sight in pieces. I was sick! Wound up drinking by the campfire that weekend while he hunted with my bow. Peeled off a bunch of hundies to him, and he got a brand new Mathews when we got back home.

[Gumbo Man]

Well after Randy shared his story so transparently I was going to follow suit until I re read the requirements of the thread being “ Smartest People”. I no longer feel qualified to participate in this conversation.

[Burnadell]

Also, there was this one time heading to the same lease, and as we were going around the loop in Waco, I felt the urge...BAD!!! I mean so bad that one was touching cotton! I pulled into the Whataburger, but I was afraid I was not going to make it in time! I did the clinch walk/wobble into the men's room, and dangit...the stall was taken. I had no time to spare! I knocked on the ladies room door...no answer, so I painfully schooched into the only stall! Ahhhhh!

Then I heard a couple of ladies came in . I lifted up my boots and said in a high voice, "taken" . They powdered their nose and left. After it got quite, I hightailed it out! I'm pretty sure the paint peeled off the walls, and they had to repaint!