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Burning bridges. What's your opinion?

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    Burning bridges. What's your opinion?

    So my cousin and I are close but for several months that hasn't been the case. She got a boyfriend (who I've known literally since she was born) and the dude is a tool bag. I know it bothers her that I don't include myself in anything she does because I know he will be there. She's mad at me because I told her how I feel about the guy and she didn't like it. I guess maybe I should have bit my tongue and said nothing at all. But most anyone that knows anything about me knows I can't lie, I can't just not speak what's on my mind even if I come off like I'm a jackass. And if you think I am that's fair too.

    First off the guy mooches off of her,doesn't get up for work,comes to her house after 2:00 when the bar closes,smokes dope and has never worked for anything in his life so he won't change. She's not rich by any means and now she has a grown man not doing anything to help her. Just living at her house and eating up all of her groceries. But still I catch hell because I told her exactly what I think of him. But she asked.....I ain't doing it to be a jerk. I literally can't be around the guy. He puts me in a bad mood.....LOL I can't be the only person that feels like that about certain people. How did this turn around on me?

    I'm sure I'll catch some crap about this but it's better than a virus thread. I guess eventually she'll maybe see what I'm talking about. Maybe she won't. I probably should have just kept my stupid mouth shut but it's not that easy.....for me.

    It's always a social gathering she wants to include me in. And alcohol will be there. And if I'm there and he's there and beer is there I'm gonna drink some. He's gonna drink some. Then he's gonna lose his temper over something stupid or whatever then I'm gonna slap the crap out of him. I know myself.....I would do that. So I'm just saving everyone the trouble by not going. That's called being nice.
    Last edited by okrattler; 03-24-2020, 11:27 PM.

    #2
    I'm not a good pretender. That's a major flaw that I have and I'll admit it. There are very,very,very few people I cannot get along with on this planet. But if I like you you'll know it. It will be obvious. I can't do that fake thing where I pretend to like somebody. I've seen it done but it's actually a skill I believe.

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      #3
      If I talk to you I like you. It's that simple with me. She's basically asking me "Can you like him for a just a few hours?"........No.......I can't.LOL I've known him for over 20 years. Pretty sure I know by now.

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        #4
        Dear Abby...

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          #5
          Dear Arby's. Bring back the Big Montana.

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            #6
            Come on Burnadell I know you've been in a similar situation. When you and Jesus Christ used to hang out did he ever have a buddy you didn't particularly care for but you never said anything about? Then come to find out you were right at the last supper?

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              #7
              When people are looking through rose colored glasses, there is almost nothing you can do to change them. It is no different than the biggest step in recovering from an addiction is to admit that you actually have an addiction.... in my opinion.

              She obviously sees him in a completely different (and sounds like unbelievably blind) light than you. He probably deserves to get the crap kicked out of him.

              But..... that will just forever end your relationship with your cousin.

              So.... she might not like you not going to socialize but that won’t end y’alls relationship. Like you, I can’t act well and it would be obvious that I thought he was a jerk (to not violate rules of the forum) and probably needs a mud-hole stomped in him.

              Therefore her feelings might be hurt by you not going but it would be the right decision for me in similar circumstances. Hurt feelings won’t end your relationship. Kicking the crap out of an, uhhh, person that desperately needs it but she is terribly in love with, will.

              tvc184abby

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                #8
                Good call I would have told her as well.
                My daughter has a friend that always ends up with these type guys to. My wife and I always offer our opinion to her as well. She just says yeah I know.

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                  #9
                  I'm not gonna give you a hard time for letting off some steam. We live in crazy times now, we all have other problems too. First off, good for speaking your mind, it's something I'd like to be better at. I usually keep things bottled up inside and when I explode, it's nasty. Secondly, even if it means that you cut ties with her for a while, avoid meeting up. Cause you to will likely end up in a physical fight and you might lose her for good because of this. Talk less and try to open up her eyes to the situation without being too up in her space. Good luck, man!

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                    #10
                    Best of luck to you. Im not going to give my opinion because Im terrible with relationships. No point in me making your life worse haha

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                      #11
                      Speak your mind and say what you feel. It's called being honest. At least she knows where you stand. If she can't see that he's garbage that's on her. I'm the same way. I say what's on my mind and how I feel. Somebody asks my opinion I tell uo front they may not like what I have to say they were warned in advance so dont get butt hurt about it.

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                        #12
                        I wouldn't let him ruin your relationship. Keep your mouth shut, time will pass and she will figure it out. He will be gone then you can tell her that you were right.

                        Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk

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                          #13
                          Who was buying the beer? This may help.....

                          In all seriousness, when he goes away you and your cousin will reconcile. No use putting yourself in a bad situation. Life is short enough, so spending your days around people you don’t like doesn’t sound like a wise decision.

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                            #14
                            At some point she will see the light and when she does it will be hard but don't say "I told you!" That's always the hardest part for me anyways. LOL

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                              #15
                              Sounds to me like you're doing the right thing in staying away. Keep the channels open with your cuz in other ways since she'll need your support when she figures the jerk out. Good grief I hope that doesn't take too long.

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