Divorce your wife?

[Puggy625]

Father's Day last year my wife told me she wanted a divorce. It totally blindsided me and left me reeling like I'd been given a death sentence. We hadn't been in the best spot for a time, but I never thought she would want to end it. We have two kids together 11 and 5 at the time. I was agnostic boarding on atheist, she was an on again off again christiain but had quit going for a while. The lack of faith on my part was a problem, but there were other things.

I tried everything to save the marriage, offered going to counsiling, reached out to her preacher, her family, our mutual friends etc. She wasn't having any of it. 3 weeks later, she moved into our guest room, took off her wedding ring and changed her facebook status to "single" and started taking lots of "risque" pictures and updating it. Lots of filters, cleavage etc(shes 48). A few more weeks went by and I heard the "conversations" with someone else. Late night, lots of passion, lots of things I can't print. My kids heard it too. I ended up sleeping with ear plugs for months.

I still tried keeping her here, fought hard, begged, when to church, tried to pray, still nothing. Then she blocked me on any social media from seeing her. Her family basically took her side and I was "out". For the record, shes a financial train wreck, pathological liar, and couldnt finance a gumball with 50% down. That caused lots of problems for us. I bailed her out financially more times than I can count. And when I would get upset about it, it became my "fault" she lied about it because of how i reacted.

Anyway, after 100 days of this I finally went down to the courthouse and filed. I broke into tears in my truck, punched the dashboard, screamed at the sky. Nothing changed.

From then till she moved out on March 15 2019 I had to endure listening to those conversations, she quit her job and lived off "me" from December she moved out. She filed a domestic violence protective order against me because we had a fight about her "conversations" and money she took out of the health savings account.

The judge didn't believe it, but she tried to take the kids, the house, the guns, anger managment, supervised visitation, the whole works. I was one decision from losing my kids forever.

Fast forward although she stayed till March 15 we were divorced February 26. We both used lawyers for consultations, but didn't hire them outright. This saved me having to itemize everything I owned and her getting 1/2. Instead I gave her $100k out of my retirement and then she took everything she wanted out of the house, which was mostly everything(including the curtains).

I stood by and endured it, because they are just things. I wanted my kids 50/50 custody and knew if I fought shed continue to make bogus claims.

I pray often that I wish I had seen the signs, and been able to change things. I miss my "family" terribly and what it meant.( I was a wild one before her and didn't need anyone".
I could never take her back now, but she was my wife, the mother of my kids and that was something.

So, yes I filed because what she was doing, wasn't what I wanted my kids to have as an example of what a family should be. We told my oldest on the 4th of July weekend last year. She was lost, and I couldn't stop crying. But I also made my ex tell my daughter it was her idea, I wasnt taking the sword on that one.

Father's Day this year was the absolute worst, despite having my kids with me, its a painful reminder of what I had.

So..if there's infidelity, or abuse, I agree, go file. But for anything else, especially if there are kids involved, fight to your last breath to resurrect what you had. At 54, I'm staring at the single life with a 6 and 12 year old, this isn't how I planned how my life would go.

Almost exactly what I'm enduring now, but without kids (hers and mine are grown).

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[CLR]

My mind is racing, thousands of possibilities!


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Bat sxxt crazy?

[steve corn]

I was married 35 years. Loved her with everything I was. I couldn't take the crazy anymore. When I told my grown kids "I just can't do this any more" my daughter said "Dad, I can't believe you stayed this long." As much as I loved her I am happier with her gone. Still make me sad some times though.

[Death from Above]

Father's Day last year my wife told me she wanted a divorce. It totally blindsided me and left me reeling like I'd been given a death sentence. We hadn't been in the best spot for a time, but I never thought she would want to end it. We have two kids together 11 and 5 at the time. I was agnostic boarding on atheist, she was an on again off again christiain but had quit going for a while. The lack of faith on my part was a problem, but there were other things.

I tried everything to save the marriage, offered going to counsiling, reached out to her preacher, her family, our mutual friends etc. She wasn't having any of it. 3 weeks later, she moved into our guest room, took off her wedding ring and changed her facebook status to "single" and started taking lots of "risque" pictures and updating it. Lots of filters, cleavage etc(shes 48). A few more weeks went by and I heard the "conversations" with someone else. Late night, lots of passion, lots of things I can't print. My kids heard it too. I ended up sleeping with ear plugs for months.

I still tried keeping her here, fought hard, begged, when to church, tried to pray, still nothing. Then she blocked me on any social media from seeing her. Her family basically took her side and I was "out". For the record, shes a financial train wreck, pathological liar, and couldnt finance a gumball with 50% down. That caused lots of problems for us. I bailed her out financially more times than I can count. And when I would get upset about it, it became my "fault" she lied about it because of how i reacted.

Anyway, after 100 days of this I finally went down to the courthouse and filed. I broke into tears in my truck, punched the dashboard, screamed at the sky. Nothing changed.

From then till she moved out on March 15 2019 I had to endure listening to those conversations, she quit her job and lived off "me" from December she moved out. She filed a domestic violence protective order against me because we had a fight about her "conversations" and money she took out of the health savings account.

The judge didn't believe it, but she tried to take the kids, the house, the guns, anger managment, supervised visitation, the whole works. I was one decision from losing my kids forever.

Fast forward although she stayed till March 15 we were divorced February 26. We both used lawyers for consultations, but didn't hire them outright. This saved me having to itemize everything I owned and her getting 1/2. Instead I gave her $100k out of my retirement and then she took everything she wanted out of the house, which was mostly everything(including the curtains).

I stood by and endured it, because they are just things. I wanted my kids 50/50 custody and knew if I fought shed continue to make bogus claims.

I pray often that I wish I had seen the signs, and been able to change things. I miss my "family" terribly and what it meant.( I was a wild one before her and didn't need anyone".
I could never take her back now, but she was my wife, the mother of my kids and that was something.

So, yes I filed because what she was doing, wasn't what I wanted my kids to have as an example of what a family should be. We told my oldest on the 4th of July weekend last year. She was lost, and I couldn't stop crying. But I also made my ex tell my daughter it was her idea, I wasnt taking the sword on that one.

Father's Day this year was the absolute worst, despite having my kids with me, its a painful reminder of what I had.

So..if there's infidelity, or abuse, I agree, go file. But for anything else, especially if there are kids involved, fight to your last breath to resurrect what you had. At 54, I'm staring at the single life with a 6 and 12 year old, this isn't how I planned how my life would go.

You sir...are a rock.

Till death do us part would have taken place in my house.

I cannot imagine the intestinal fortitude you must have had to endure.

[topshot]

If you wake up every day to live for yourself, chances are you will have a miserable marriage. Instead, wake up and tell yourself "my wife doesnt owe me anything, but I owe her all the love I can give."
If you believe woman was created by God to complete man...you are right. Not because man is less than or in need of a woman to find value or for sexual reasons...but because a woman gives man someone to direct selfless covenant love towards. The image and nature of God is to love without any expectation of anything in return. Directing love towards animals can never truly show the image and nature of God that has been instilled into the heart of a man. This is why God said something was missing and so he made a companion a helper, woman.
When you wake up with this in mind you might just see a shift in your day and your marriage. I did.

[DorothyNotKeegan]

Father's Day last year my wife told me she wanted a divorce. It totally blindsided me and left me reeling like I'd been given a death sentence. We hadn't been in the best spot for a time, but I never thought she would want to end it. We have two kids together 11 and 5 at the time. I was agnostic boarding on atheist, she was an on again off again christiain but had quit going for a while. The lack of faith on my part was a problem, but there were other things.

I tried everything to save the marriage, offered going to counsiling, reached out to her preacher, her family, our mutual friends etc. She wasn't having any of it. 3 weeks later, she moved into our guest room, took off her wedding ring and changed her facebook status to "single" and started taking lots of "risque" pictures and updating it. Lots of filters, cleavage etc(shes 48). A few more weeks went by and I heard the "conversations" with someone else. Late night, lots of passion, lots of things I can't print. My kids heard it too. I ended up sleeping with ear plugs for months.

I still tried keeping her here, fought hard, begged, when to church, tried to pray, still nothing. Then she blocked me on any social media from seeing her. Her family basically took her side and I was "out". For the record, shes a financial train wreck, pathological liar, and couldnt finance a gumball with 50% down. That caused lots of problems for us. I bailed her out financially more times than I can count. And when I would get upset about it, it became my "fault" she lied about it because of how i reacted.

Anyway, after 100 days of this I finally went down to the courthouse and filed. I broke into tears in my truck, punched the dashboard, screamed at the sky. Nothing changed.

From then till she moved out on March 15 2019 I had to endure listening to those conversations, she quit her job and lived off "me" from December she moved out. She filed a domestic violence protective order against me because we had a fight about her "conversations" and money she took out of the health savings account.

The judge didn't believe it, but she tried to take the kids, the house, the guns, anger managment, supervised visitation, the whole works. I was one decision from losing my kids forever.

Fast forward although she stayed till March 15 we were divorced February 26. We both used lawyers for consultations, but didn't hire them outright. This saved me having to itemize everything I owned and her getting 1/2. Instead I gave her $100k out of my retirement and then she took everything she wanted out of the house, which was mostly everything(including the curtains).

I stood by and endured it, because they are just things. I wanted my kids 50/50 custody and knew if I fought shed continue to make bogus claims.

I pray often that I wish I had seen the signs, and been able to change things. I miss my "family" terribly and what it meant.( I was a wild one before her and didn't need anyone".
I could never take her back now, but she was my wife, the mother of my kids and that was something.

So, yes I filed because what she was doing, wasn't what I wanted my kids to have as an example of what a family should be. We told my oldest on the 4th of July weekend last year. She was lost, and I couldn't stop crying. But I also made my ex tell my daughter it was her idea, I wasnt taking the sword on that one.

Father's Day this year was the absolute worst, despite having my kids with me, its a painful reminder of what I had.

So..if there's infidelity, or abuse, I agree, go file. But for anything else, especially if there are kids involved, fight to your last breath to resurrect what you had. At 54, I'm staring at the single life with a 6 and 12 year old, this isn't how I planned how my life would go.

Man tough to read... You are a strong person to endure that and stay focused on the long road.

[Bigdaddy]

Don't do it. Hire a hitman instead

Dude that’s not cool!! My little sister was murdered by her husband. Think before you type

[cwill]

This thread reminds me of just how much I love being married to my wife! It also lets me know that I can and should work harder to be a better husband. I know divorce is not always avoidable, but I'll exhaust everything before I let it happen to our marriage! I feel for you guys/gals that have gone through it.

[flywise]

I take you to be my wife to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy law, and this is my solemn vow.

That applied back in the day when a man didnt scew a stranger he met at the beer joint and had a kid on the way the next day. These days you knock'em up, get married to a stranger, and get a divorce in 3-4 years.
It's the American way

[Jspradley]

That applied back in the day when a man didnt scew a stranger he met at the beer joint and had a kid on the way the next day. These days you knock'em up, get married to a stranger, and get a divorce in 3-4 years.
It's the American way

I see someone never heard stories of what his grandpappy and gramma got up to back in the day. Lol

Guys and girls have been hittin and quittin it ever since the first folks figured out what goes where.

The world has always been just as screwed up as to was worse than is it now, in fact by just about every measurable objective there has never been a better time in human history than right now.

[flywise]

I see someone never heard stories of what his grandpappy and gramma got up to back in the day. Lol

Guys and girls have been hittin and quittin it ever since the first folks figured out what goes where.

The world has always been just as screwed up as to was worse than is it now, in fact by just about every measurable objective there has never been a better time in human history than right now.

Lol, nope

[Burnadell]

That applied back in the day when a man didnt scew a stranger he met at the beer joint and had a kid on the way the next day. These days you knock'em up, get married to a stranger, and get a divorce in 3-4 years.
It's the American way

Yeah, I realize that it takes two to make a marriage work, and I certainly could not tolerate infidelity and craziness. I hate it when I hear about people getting divorced when there are children involved, but I know there are circumstances where it is unavoidable, especially when the other spouse cheats and doesn't want to work it out.

[JHT]

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:d:d:d:d

[Jspradley]

I gotta wonder how many of the halo wearing water walkers around here would have the nads to tell their wives about how they should be subservient and "find their identity behind their husbands" to their faces. lol

Many couches would be slept upon that night....

[SaltwaterSlick]

I gotta wonder how many of the halo wearing water walkers around here would have the nads to tell their wives about how they should be subservient and "find their identity behind their husbands" to their faces. lol

Many couches would be slept upon that night....

You know, your post is totally uncalled for and certainly does not contribute anything to an otherwise very good thread. It certainly doesn't deserve a response, but I WILL respond.

Maybe I'm not the norm, but I can tell you I'm just a regular old God-Fearing guy who loves the Lord first, and my wife second. She would tell you the same thing. If you were ever so fortunate to find a mate to cleave to like that, you wouldn't be such an *******. It's obvious that you have not. My wife have been married 43 years come September. We grew up neighbors and have known each other since first grade. I've never even had a date with another woman. She will tell you the same. So yes, a woman with Christian principles and a God-Fearing nature would tell you she is subject to her husband, BUT her husband will tell you that his whole life is dedicated to loving her just as Christ loved the church. That's what I get up doing every single day and that's what I got to bed at night thinking.

So you can take you smart *** remarks and shove 'em where the sun don't shine!