Man, he's tighter'n a bull's arse in fly season... when talkin' bout a tight wad (my uncle, his brother)...
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My Dad:
Boy you are as worthless as t1ts on a bore hog.
Life ain't always pretty. Sometimes even the best t urd will leave a skidmark on the bowl.
Those are my favorite but here are a few more he left me with.
When referring to:
Tightness: That's tighter than Dicks hat band.
Hardness: That's harder than woodpecker lips.
Difficulty: That's harder than Chinese arithmetic.
Age: He's older than dirt.
Beauty: Her Daddy must have been a looking glass maker.
Amazement: I've been to 9 county fairs and ain't never seen no **** like that.
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Shaking like a dog crapping peach seeds on a frosty morning
That boy could F up a rock fight
Some days your the bug some days your the windshield
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but it may be a train
knocked his Cock in his watch pocket
I'd rather drink kerosene and **** on a brushfire
Id rather Jack^%$ a bobcat with a handful of stickers
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