Who controls the money? . .

[2B4Him]

My wife handles the bill paying. Early on in our marriage it became obvious that she 'needed' to see where it was going, etc. (from a 'budget' standpoint, not 'trust'). That is fine with me as I handle all the financial (and other) decisions for our two business interests and it is a relief to NOT have to do the same at home.
We started dating at 17, dated for 7 years, and have been married for 34. So, we are on pretty much the exact same page on all our financial decisions.

[Fordnandez]

My wife and I have split accounts. I pay for just about everything through auto pay. She pays gas, water and groceries. We don't have any kids and we make good money so we never have had a financial argument.

[clinthwt]

We both work, she is in real estate I run a grocery store. I pay all bills, she keeps her money. I buy anything I want with her permission, she does what she wants with her money lol. Isn't that how this whole marriage thing work????

[Stetsonoverton]

We both work plus my wife is a professional photographer so her hobby does pretty well also, I pay all the bills her money from both endeavors is for spending and saving seems to work (knock on wood) we only been married since may.

[locolobo]

Since I make 10X what my wife does my check goes into our joint acct and hers goes into her account. She has more time on her hands so she pays bills except for the big ones, property taxes, House insurance etc,.
Neither are big spenders. I only have 18 guns, 10 rod/reel rigs and 3 boats but she has a lot more clothes than I do.
We both have retirement accounts but wife has only been working for 10 yrs so mine will be the major source for our retirement.
We both keep tabs on the accts so we make sure not to overspend.

[Shane]

We have always had two joint checking accounts - one "hers" and one "mine". I've always kept up with paying the bills, but M.C. is perfectly capable. She's handled 7-figure budgets at work before. She buys the groceries and stuff and pays a couple of her bills, and I still pay most of the bills out of my account. I bring home a lot more than she does. I shoot money over to her account here and there whenever she needs/wants anything. We talk about the big things before spending. But we don't have any hint of distrust between us about finances (or anything else), so we don't go over the monthly budget every month together anymore. We've been married almost 28 years, and money isn't nearly as tight as it used to be. That makes it easier for sure.

I would like to make a suggestion.

I have handled life insurance claims and worked with widows and widowers for almost 40 years so I have seen a lot of folks in the aftermath of one of the most stressful times of their lives.

On a regular basis I have had the surviving spouse in my office scared to death - their deceased spouse handled all the money and bills so the survivor has no idea how much money or insurance they had plus no idea about where the investments were or what bills are due.

On top of that the survivor has no idea of how to get into most of those accounts because they do not know the passwords. They also do not know where the will or any other legal documents are.

You can do a huge favor for your loved ones by having a folder that outlines and shows everything. This takes a huge load off of someone who is already emotional due to loss of a spouse.

Huntingfool makes some good points - I have seen the same thing. I had a lady in my office recently who's husband died suddenly at age 70. He had been a client for a long time and has lots of assets but he had always done everything when it came to finances. In all their years of marriage he paid every bill and just gave her an allowance - she was blissfully unaware. I'm sure he did it to "take care of her" but she has no idea how to pay bills or handle money. Trying to explain the investments she now owns is very difficult. She is overwhelmed by it all.

Yep. I see it all the time as well. It seems like the spouse that handles the finances always seems to die first. Maybe it's the stress of worrying about finances versus that does them in??

Most of the time those surviving spouses that never handled the finances before are able to get up to speed (with some help and advice from financial advisor, CPA, maybe an adult child, etc). But I have had a handful that really go crazy with their spending. I think some depression from the loss combined with a lifetime of just always having whatever money they wanted deposited into their checking account by the financial spouse contributes to that when it happens. I have a client right now that was well-provided for when her husband passed away a few years ago, but she's getting dangerously close to being broke now, due to really excessive spending. I, along with her kids, have tried and tried over the last few years to convince her to slow down, but we've not had much success with that. She's finally slowing down some, but not enough. She'll be broke in a year or two, most likely. Sad deal

[wsteffen]

Separate joint accounts, but it doesn't really matter. Retired, no dept, just day to day expenses. We decide major purchases as a team. If she wants something she buys it, same with me. After 30 years of fighting to get everything paid for and be debt free we can just enjoy life now. We decided to buy a new car last year and saved and paid cash for it. We never want to owe anyone anything again.

[dclifton]

I do. I buy what I want when I want and she has never complained about anything money related in 36 years........BUT, that's always in the back of my mind and that keeps me from being a spendthrift. Now, if a dang no-till drill didn't cost $10K+ I would buy one tomorrow !

Me and u both...

I missed a clean Hay van the other day for 4k. was about an hour late on craigslist.

Ive been looking for about a year. My cows sure would appreciate one.

[Throwin Darts]

All income goes into a joint account. Household bills and savings are paid from there.

Twice a month an auto transfer puts money into individual accounts, one for her and one for me. I spend mine on whatever I want, she spends her on whatever she wants. No questions asked. She wants to get her nails done, its paid out of her account. I want to buy a gun, its paid out of mine. This works great for us.

[Pineywoods]

We have had one joint checking account and one joint savings account since we've been married. Both of us work and treat our separate incomes as one income. My wife handles the bill paying duties but I quietly monitor what's going on in the background (not because of a lack of trust, but so I know what's going on). We discuss any major purchases but buy what we want without discussion on the small stuff. We have handled it this way for 15 years and have had zero arguments concerning finances over the years. We trust each other and share income without issue. When we married, we became one... and I assumed it meant our finances as well.

[junkmanhunter]

I handle it all because it’s only me. Whenever I do get married it’s going to be tough to give it up just because I’m so dang **** about it. I like to make sure all bills are paid (usually more) as soon as they come In. I put more into all my retirement accounts than what i need to and I make sure there is a good rainy day fund set up... whatever is left gets spent on toys.

You are on a very good path. Keep up the over paying your retirement, you won’t regret it.

I would like to make a suggestion.

I have handled life insurance claims and worked with widows and widowers for almost 40 years so I have seen a lot of folks in the aftermath of one of the most stressful times of their lives.

On a regular basis I have had the surviving spouse in my office scared to death - their deceased spouse handled all the money and bills so the survivor has no idea how much money or insurance they had plus no idea about where the investments were or what bills are due.

On top of that the survivor has no idea of how to get into most of those accounts because they do not know the passwords. They also do not know where the will or any other legal documents are.


You can do a huge favor for your loved ones by having a folder that outlines and shows everything. This takes a huge load off of someone who is already emotional due to loss of a spouse.

This is so true. When my father passed away suddenly, it was a rude awakening. We thought him and mom were squared away. We quickly found out, mom didn’t know where the investments were, they had separate checking accounts and she wasn’t a signer on his account. It was no fun straightening that out.

Within 60 days after he passed, my wife and I changed up a lot of things with our money. We are signers on each other’s accounts, our investments are joint and spelled out in a trust how it is.

OH ya, we have separate accounts, always have. I paid every bill other than house payment, she paid it. We talk about any major expenditure and never
Had an argument over money. She is now retired so she keeps a closer eye on our money and spending.

It works for us.

[Mr. Whiskers]

I do.