Military divorce questions

[brushtrooper]

My son is active military, he has been married for a year and 7 months, they have a 6month old son. He was deployed 9 mo. then came home for 6 weeks and deployed again. His wife now wants a divorce and is her wanting it, not him. She has texted that she wants the divorce. She has not filed yet. She says she is tired of him being gone all the time. She has moved back in with her parents again. She moved back in with them when he was deployed the first time.

So for those that have been down this road please share advice.
First, he wants to change the direct deposit so she does not have access to his check. That leaves the question of how much money to give for the child as he wants to make sure the child is taken care of.

They have a vehicle owner financed by her father. Verbal deal, no paperwork. Whats the best way to handle the payments/insurance. She drives it and has pocession of vehicle.


They do not have any credit cards or other loan debts.

I will be trying to find a lawyer on Monday.

Thank you for any advice/suggestions

[PilotJoe]

Answer is “Yes” to allot of your questions. Although it’s general stuff you are talking about here.


Feel free to call me and I’ll walk you through what I witnessed across 2 decades and over 100 divorces during those 2 decades on how to handle this situation properly in regard to protecting him being the active duty member.

757 mnopqrs 572 QWERTY 4091 zxcvbnm


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Louis]

Pay the truck off now and let her have the vehicle owner financed by her father. No paperwork, verbal deal, can't b proven. Get a lawyer anyway.

[stevieray54]

No personal help here. Can he not retain professional advice or assistance from the military.
I do know shut here off and money given to her or for his son, be sure and do it by check nd keep a record of it and write on check Child support

[Guest]

From personal experience of being married about three months and then being deployed in the Infantry then coming home to a wife and baby born while I was away. Tell them to get together in Church and work it out. That baby is worth more than the selfish things they could ever want. From my experience she can’t just divorce him without a military marriage counseling session. Pm if you have any questions but I have seen so many joes rush into everything then come home and just let it fall away because their give a **** is busted.

[brushtrooper]

divorce

Answer is “Yes” to allot of your questions. Although it’s general stuff you are talking about here.


Feel free to call me and I’ll walk you through what I witnessed across 2 decades and over 100 divorces during those 2 decades on how to handle this situation properly in regard to protecting him being the active duty member.

757 mnopqrs 572 QWERTY 4091 zxcvbnm


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

PM inbound

[Junkers88]

AD military has access to free legal advice via JAG (IIRC) in REGAF we have the ADC and I'm sure AD Army has something similar if it's not JAG. Have him contact them, trust me in that this happens a lot more often then not. Now this part is my personal advice only so take that for what it's worth..... if you are able, buy the truck from him and put it in you name. If the truck is fully in his name then she can't touch it but if it were me I'd buy my sons truck to ensure it's not lost in the divorce.

Military divorces are usually ugly for the simple fact that a deployed member has little recourse while he/she is away and doing the job they signed up for. I hate, truly truly hate someone that files for divorce while their spouse is deployed. As if the stress of the job isn't enough now that military member has concern for possibly losing his child on his mind while in an environment where absolute concentration is vital for survival.

I've been in uniform since 1998 and I can't count the number of members who's life fell apart due to a divorce initiated by a disgruntled spouse while my brother was over in the sandbox doing his job.

I'll keep your son in my prayers.


Richard.

[TexasIsisHunter]

From personal experience of being married about three months and then being deployed in the Infantry then coming home to a wife and baby born while I was away. Tell them to get together in Church and work it out. That baby is worth more than the selfish things they could ever want. From my experience she can’t just divorce him without a military marriage counseling session. Pm if you have any questions but I have seen so many joes rush into everything then come home and just let it fall away because their give a **** is busted.

Ive tried that. I’ve tried suggesting counseling. I’ve stayed loyal and given her as much of attention as possible. As said in the OP she’s the one who wants this, not me. I’m still trying. My give a **** ain’t busted, hers is. Thanks for the input though.

[TexasIsisHunter]

AD military has access to free legal advice via JAG (IIRC) in REGAF we have the ADC and I'm sure AD Army has something similar if it's not JAG. Have him contact them, trust me in that this happens a lot more often then not. Now this part is my personal advice only so take that for what it's worth..... if you are able, buy the truck from him and put it in you name. If the truck is fully in his name then she can't touch it but if it were me I'd buy my sons truck to ensure it's not lost in the divorce.

Military divorces are usually ugly for the simple fact that a deployed member has little recourse while he/she is away and doing the job they signed up for. I hate, truly truly hate someone that files for divorce while their spouse is deployed. As if the stress of the job isn't enough now that military member has concern for possibly losing his child on his mind while in an environment where absolute concentration is vital for survival.

I've been in uniform since 1998 and I can't count the number of members who's life fell apart due to a divorce initiated by a disgruntled spouse while my brother was over in the sandbox doing his job.

I'll keep your son in my prayers.


Richard.

Thank you sir. My leaderships trying to track down some sort of jag rep but we are on the southern border and resources are extremely limited. Doing my best to get through it just hoping for some advice before I change financial situations

[miket]

I cant help except to extend my sympathy and wish him the best. Sorry to hear it.

[Guest]

Ive tried that. I’ve tried suggesting counseling. I’ve stayed loyal and given her as much of attention as possible. As said in the OP she’s the one who wants this, not me. I’m still trying. My give a **** ain’t busted, hers is. Thanks for the input though.

Hang in there bud as long as you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing it will work out fine. If she has committed adultery or something you will have her on her heels if she keeps this up, if not she will have to play the hand she is dealing herself. You just keep doing your job and keep focusing on you and that baby’s life. The Army will step in, we don’t just let families fall apart. She may want to tear off on her own but that baby is yours and you haven’t done anything wrong. Pm if anything at all comes up man. I’m still in and have been since 2009. I’ve seen my share of deployments and marriage problems. The life is hard and she should have thought about the pack she was to bear when she was telling everyone she was with a soldier. Get with your platoon Sgt and Chaplain then request marriage counsel. They will bring in a legal advisor and every layer will be peeled back. I know she can’t file anything until the Army sees that she has tried counseling and relationship progression. They can’t just walk off, it’s a mental health and welfare deal for us. Military spouses have to behave so we can do our jobs. Hit me up if you need anything at all man.

[Lawhunter]

That’s too ugh. Sorry you have to go through this

[miket]

Im trying to not get ticked but not doing a good job of it. It takes a special kind of sorry to bail on a man while in service to our country! My wife left me 20 months ago and I have sucked it up and not divorced her, how can someone bail on someone that quick and easy while they are sacrificing themselves is beyond my comprehension!

[Iehooligan11b]

Like quanah said bro, get with your battalion chaplain. They have a lot of resources and will probably put the most effort into being there for you and helping you. Keep on your leadership about tracking down someone from JAG and getting them to help ya out.
Feel free to PM me if you need anything

[Junkers88]

Thank you sir. My leaderships trying to track down some sort of jag rep but we are on the southern border and resources are extremely limited. Doing my best to get through it just hoping for some advice before I change financial situations

You'll come through this. Be safe little brother.

Richard.