School situation with my 12 yr old

[RiverRat1]

Thankfully no. First grader that was standing about 7 or 8 feet away from me and when he whipped it out I thought no way he could hit me, but he peed and hit my shoes!

My wife found a huge puddle of urine in the corner last week. She texted me all day about how she was trying to figure out which kid did it. LOL 1st graders and someone had to see but no one would rat the kid out.

I am guessing the school she teaches in does not have any sort of a behavior unit?

When I talk about a behavior unit, all my kids are either diagnosed with an Emotional Disturbance or one of 13 OHI's. Other Health Impairment such as Fetal Alcohol, ADD, ADHD, etc.

Yes, they have a behavior unit. I think it's one classroom but it's always filled up so there's always 1-3 kids in my wife's class that should be in the special class but the school makes excuses until it's too late.

It really is crazy how many "special" kids there are now. A lot IMO are because parents don't raise their kids at all anymore.

[Mudslinger]

Most of my kids come from broken homes, that is pretty much the norm with my SEBSS kids. And yes, it takes a while to get a kid in my unit. Way too much paperwork and observations!

[RiverRat1]

Most of my kids come from broken homes, that is pretty much the norm with my SEBSS kids. And yes, it takes a while to get a kid in my unit. Way too much paperwork and observations!

Well the whole dang school has been observing this one kid yelling and screaming curse words nearly every day this year. So sad they can't do anything. I feel sorry for the teacher as my wife had a kid like that in her class 4 years ago.

[Roy]

I have to ask all the John Wayne's in this thread that tell their kids to 'handle it'- what do you tell them to do next after they get the snot beat out of them when they try to 'defend' themselves and fight back?

"Problem solved" my arse.

[BitBackShot]

Everyone always assumes the bully is some easily defeatable (not a word, apparently) wuss in these threads.

I had a buddy through church that was somewhat of a bully in high school. Not sure "bully" is the right word, just a guy that took what he wanted when he wanted it. A few guys confronted him in the parking lot after school one day trying to make a name for themselves. Little gangbanger wannabes. 2 of them with bats in the background, their leader walked up and got in his face.

He knocked the first one completely unconscious with 1 punch, picked the kid up and tossed his body at the other 2 who took off running. Over the next week, the 2 that ran learned very hard lessons as well.

It's really easy to say, "My kid isn't going to be picked on, I've told him to go whoop his behind and by gosh he's gonna!" but a lot of times it's nowhere near that simple.

I'd go the route of working with the principle and trying to figure out what's really going on before taking the approach of telling your son to follow him into the bathroom. See if you can determine the nature of the beef - it's very possible your kid has also done something to **** off the other kid.

Be smart about it. Keep your cool.

[hogslayer78]

I have to ask all the John Wayne's in this thread that tell their kids to 'handle it'- what do you tell them to do next after they get the snot beat out of them when they try to 'defend' themselves and fight back?

"Problem solved" my arse.

Most bullies are looking for a kid that cowards down and runs. This is why they continue to bully the same kids. When a kid stands up for themselves, nornally the bully will move on. If a kid gets a butt whoopin for defending himself, its much better than being a coward and tucking his tail between his legs. I dont think it has anything to do with being a bunch of John Waynes either. Its called self respect and its starts at that age.

[RiverRat1]

I have to ask all the John Wayne's in this thread that tell their kids to 'handle it'- what do you tell them to do next after they get the snot beat out of them when they try to 'defend' themselves and fight back?

"Problem solved" my arse.

Apparently this has never happened to any TBH kid. We are all masters of kung fu or something and can teach our kids kung fu.

Internet rambos but now it internet kid rambos

[SabreKiller]

The other kid is bullying your son and should be handled appropriately by the school. They have a bullying policy I'm sure.

After that, your son needs to catch that kid in an alley somewhere.

[curtintex]

Most bullies are looking for a kid that cowards down and runs. This is why they continue to bully the same kids. When a kid stands up for themselves, nornally the bully will move on. If a kid gets a butt whoopin for defending himself, its much better than being a coward and tucking his tail between his legs. I dont think it has anything to do with being a bunch of John Waynes either. Its called self respect and its starts at that age.

The problem is that most people, of any age, only have self-respect until they have to sacrifice something to keep it. I had a kid giving me hell in the 8th grade. He outweighed me by about 40# and was a tough kid. The first day I fought him he whipped my ***. The next day I showed up with a black eye and he got the better of me again. The third day, he lost some heart and leaked some blood and I never had a problem with him again. My friends thought I was crazy, my Dad gave good advice and my principal was tired of seeing us both. (We both got swats after days 1 & 2). I guess if he'd have beat my *** that third day in a row I'd have showed up on day 4 ready to take another one. At our 20th Reunion, I told him we should do it again for old times sake, but he bought me a beer instead.

[Roy]

Apparently this has never happened to any TBH kid. We are all masters of kung fu or something and can teach our kids kung fu.

Internet rambos but now it internet kid rambos

Agreed!

So now we say if you don't 'defend yourself', you don't have any self respect...

Seriously though, I never had an issue with bullying growing up (no one in their right mind would attempt it, lol). However, my girlfriend's son (freshman in HS) just faced his first 'bully' yesterday and she is going out of her mind. It is a horrible, frustrating situation for any parent.

To the OP- I hope your situation gets resolved ASAP.

[Dakota7493]

Correct me if i'm wrong, but aren't these kids surrounded by teachers all day, including lunch & recess?

Don't understand why they aren't taking measures to stop bullying before it happens & addressing it when it's occurring.

I understand high-school may be different, but in middle school & elementary you'd think the adults in the schools should be able to address this.

This is almost impossible. There should be adults in the same room at least, bathroom excluded, but that doesn't mean they see it all happening. You were a kid in school once, you knew when adults weren't watching you and when you could do something you didn't want them to see. The traditional classroom setting we were in as kids is gone. There is no more sit in your desk and listen to me up at the board and drill and kill worksheets till you get the concept. You have more collaboration, getting in groups for projects and such, more moving around the room, more talking and the best of teachers can't see all or hear all that is going on.

[flyin7]

I contacted the other dad directly and let him know what I had instructed my son to do should this happen again then I contacted the principal and let him know that since he had not protected my son from the bully, my son was going to have to defend himself because the school administration wasn't willing to do their job.

[stickbowcoop]

I contacted the other dad directly and let him know what I had instructed my son to do should this happen again then I contacted the principal and let him know that since he had not protected my son from the bully, my son was going to have to defend himself because the school administration wasn't willing to do their job.

And how will you react if your son makes it violent and the other boy gives your kid a beating or worse puts your son in the hospital? I know you think your son will win, but I am sure so does the other dad. I am no stranger to fighting, it is why my dad threw me out after my mom died. But I don't feel like it is the answer now as an adult. I don't know the answer, I don't have kids, but we raised our nephew because he had a bad home life. But still my opinion probably isn't valid, and I am being serious when I say that. I feel for parents and kids today and the waters they have to tread.

[ladybluearm]

I held off on commenting as long as I could. Its not impossible if the teachers are where they are supposed to be. MY 2 grandkids went to private church school for 4 yrs, the grandson kept getting bullied on the playground and at recess, the teachers that were supposed to be watching them were all at the picnic tables with their backs to the kiddos. My daughter in law sat in the parking lot and video taped this! After many many times of the grandson telling the teachers and mom talking to the principal nothing was done, that's when she showed the video. I realize they can't watch every step of every day, but they could make an effort to do better. The gkids no longer attend this school. They are much happier.

[Mudslinger]

I held off on commenting as long as I could. Its not impossible if the teachers are where they are supposed to be. MY 2 grandkids went to private church school for 4 yrs, the grandson kept getting bullied on the playground and at recess, the teachers that were supposed to be watching them were all at the picnic tables with their backs to the kiddos. My daughter in law sat in the parking lot and video taped this! After many many times of the grandson telling the teachers and mom talking to the principal nothing was done, that's when she showed the video. I realize they can't watch every step of every day, but they could make an effort to do better. The gkids no longer attend this school. They are much happier.

Very true. When they are on the playground that is visiting time for the teachers whose kids are outside. The cafeteria is normally TA's and no teachers, that is their lunch break along with their PE break and Specials class break. Fortunately our teachers watch their kids at recess, but I have seen it like described above.