Finding God?

[JLivi1224]

Been going through a really rough patch lately. My wife told me she wants to get divorced out of the blue on Fathers Day.
Came as a shock to all our friends and despite many people trying to help, nothing has changed.. Part of our problem has been i border somewhere between agnostic and atheist depending on how mad i am at the world. She claims to be Christian but not a regular church goer. Today i bumped into a man i know who listened to my trials and we had a long discussion about church, religious devotion and how you need to put God at the center of your marriage. Well i sure never did that, and when i mentioned my discussions today and how my church going friend wanted to pray with us she blew up. Stormed out and said it was over no matter who was praying. She said given my past lack of faith this was just a ploy to win her back. Now im conflicted because the lack of faith was a problem. i was down, felt a bit of a peace during my discussions with my friend, and when i shared it, the reaction was horrible. Kinda put me back in my mad at the world place pretty quickly. All that being said, how do you find God? How did you keep the faith so to speak? Were you down and reached out?

This curiosity is God working on and in your heart. I would love to talk to you to try and help with any questions or conflicts you may have. Many people are turned off by religion, but religion is man made. Man has added to and taken away from the gospel! A true relationship with Christ, which I think you are seeking, is hindered by religion. The Lord wants you to seek Him out. You’re doing just that! It’s a miraculous, beautiful thing! To answer your question, there is no substitute for the Word of God, the Bible. Surround yourself as much as possible with believers. Keep seeking Him!

[JLivi1224]

Sorry brother. Sounds like multiple kicks to the you know what!! Crisis should/will cause us to reevaluate. As far as a relationship with God, that solely has to be a decision you make. Trying or not trying to follow God cannot be based on what others do. My prayer is that God meets you in a totally overwhelming way! As far as your wife, I am praying for healing for your marriage. If you have the heart for it, fight for it. Meet with a counselor by yourself and begin to make the changes you need to make. I will join you in praying that she will find hope and seek the changes she needs to make. Then our hope has to be that the marriage will be restored. Praying for you. Go shoot some arrows and take some time in your happy place.

Amen and amen!

[HCGedge3]

I’ll be Praying for you buddy. I Pray you will find God.

[lovemylegacy]

Hughiam, you will see as you talk to people, each testimony is different, different circumstances, different people, places, times, yet they ALL found GOD or GOD found them. The Bible says he PURSUES us. Being a hunter you should understand that. Listen to peoples testimony and understand that he loves each one of us enough to search us out, convict us, draw us to Him and keep us. That is exactly what He is doing to you.

[JLivi1224]

Hughiam, you will see as you talk to people, each testimony is different, different circumstances, different people, places, times, yet they ALL found GOD or GOD found them. The Bible says he PURSUES us. Being a hunter you should understand that. Listen to peoples testimony and understand that he loves each one of us enough to search us out, convict us, draw us to Him and keep us. That is exactly what He is doing to you.

This is absolutely correct. He also pursues us. He found me at my lowest point, and saved my life. I was a lost, mean, miserable alcoholic. He reached down and truly rescued me. I have a wife and 4 beautiful kids now, none of which would be possible without Him. I can’t help but feel great joy and hope for you! We will be praying for you.

[Hooverfb]

A lot of good advice above man. I grew up believing in God, and was raised well, but didnt necessarily take it very seriously all the time. I had a foundation for what i believed by the time i was in college, but my heart still had issues I kept and ended up putting above my faith. Ended up going through a whole existential crisis lol but at the end of the day, I knew my faith in Christ had never steered me wrong and I knew God's word was true. Seek Him and you will find Him. In he new testament, Christ even talks about how we as comparatively wicked people can give good gifts to our kids, how much more an all power perfect loving God.

As to for how your wife reacted... that's rough. It can feel like there's no point in fighting it, especially when today's world says that's the norm. I'd say start with yourself. You know that at least you're looking for God and looking for answers. She might want that, but her mindset might be that that's too hard, involves working through whatever brought her to this point etc. Most important thing to remember is you can't forcibly change her mind. What you can do is continue to seek God, and allow yourself to be changed by that. What you can do is continue to share your feelings and thoughts with her. Continue to be loving, even if she isn't. Bible says the husband is to the wife, as Christ was to the church. Christ died on a cross with totally unreciprocated love and we didn't deserve hia foregiveness. It ain't easy, but we need men of integrity, and I don't know what your wife will do, but at the end of the day you'll know you were a man who honored his commitment and acted with integrity. The other part to this not being afraid to lead in this direction you're going. She might be reacting like that now , which is humab nature, but there is a dynamic somewhat of wives seeing husbands lead the family in a direction, then at least they can't deny it and they have to consciously make the decision to not go that direction with you.

I'll be praying for you man. Went through this when my first born was just here. She had severe postpartum depression but honestly alot of it came from things she hadn't really given up and came to a head at that time. I was working 12 hours mostly at night, so I could take care of my son because she totally withdrew herself. She even made plans to leave with him back home for several months without my knowing. Finally told me she wanted a divorce. Ain't gonna say it was easy, and there was a lot of times i just wanted to hrow my hands in the air and quit. We worked through it and made it though. 99% of it was just continuing to make sure Christ was the center of my life, and thus the center of my relationship with my wife.

[Playa]

Hughiam pursue that peace you felt for no one else but yourself! Based on this statement

“Part of our problem has been i border somewhere between agnostic and atheist depending on how mad i am at the world. She claims to be Christian but not a regular church goer. ”

If you have lived with that much animosity in your heart for that long, that little bit of peace you felt must have felt great if not amazing!

I would also venture that if you felt that much anger towards the world, your marriage trouble is deeper than just the issue with your faith. We tend to lash out at those closest to us, they receive the brunt of our anger, at least that is my experience. Luckily my wife is blunt and will say “hey you are being a jerk”. I usually get defensive at 1st, but it makes me evaluate my whole disposition in life.

The Bible says seek and you will find. Pursue this, if God isn’t real, there will be nothing to find, but if He is, then He will reveal himself to you

[bigt6450]

I have always believed. but have been through some tough times in the past and had my own struggles and questions. A book that really helped me answer some of the toughest questions was called "A case for faith" by Lee Strobel. Lee is an Athiest turned Christian after his own investigation after interviewing scientists, and several scholars in the Christian community. I bought the CD's at the time to listen to in my car, I never have time to sit down and read. Good luck with everything, I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and I know that is tough to hear right now, but I am confident it will all work out for you. https://leestrobel.com/about/

Based on your recommendation I just ordered a copy of this off eBay for less than $4. I grew up in a religious family but also stopped going once I went to college. My wife is an active Catholic, and is starting to take our 19 month old son. I don’t want to restrict their faith or spiritual growth, so I’m open to exploring my beliefs again. Thank you for the recommendation.

[JLivi1224]

A lot of good advice above man. I grew up believing in God, and was raised well, but didnt necessarily take it very seriously all the time. I had a foundation for what i believed by the time i was in college, but my heart still had issues I kept and ended up putting above my faith. Ended up going through a whole existential crisis lol but at the end of the day, I knew my faith in Christ had never steered me wrong and I knew God's word was true. Seek Him and you will find Him. In he new testament, Christ even talks about how we as comparatively wicked people can give good gifts to our kids, how much more an all power perfect loving God.

As to for how your wife reacted... that's rough. It can feel like there's no point in fighting it, especially when today's world says that's the norm. I'd say start with yourself. You know that at least you're looking for God and looking for answers. She might want that, but her mindset might be that that's too hard, involves working through whatever brought her to this point etc. Most important thing to remember is you can't forcibly change her mind. What you can do is continue to seek God, and allow yourself to be changed by that. What you can do is continue to share your feelings and thoughts with her. Continue to be loving, even if she isn't. Bible says the husband is to the wife, as Christ was to the church. Christ died on a cross with totally unreciprocated love and we didn't deserve hia foregiveness. It ain't easy, but we need men of integrity, and I don't know what your wife will do, but at the end of the day you'll know you were a man who honored his commitment and acted with integrity. The other part to this not being afraid to lead in this direction you're going. She might be reacting like that now , which is humab nature, but there is a dynamic somewhat of wives seeing husbands lead the family in a direction, then at least they can't deny it and they have to consciously make the decision to not go that direction with you.

I'll be praying for you man. Went through this when my first born was just here. She had severe postpartum depression but honestly alot of it came from things she hadn't really given up and came to a head at that time. I was working 12 hours mostly at night, so I could take care of my son because she totally withdrew herself. She even made plans to leave with him back home for several months without my knowing. Finally told me she wanted a divorce. Ain't gonna say it was easy, and there was a lot of times i just wanted to hrow my hands in the air and quit. We worked through it and made it though. 99% of it was just continuing to make sure Christ was the center of my life, and thus the center of my relationship with my wife.

Spot on!

[JLivi1224]

Based on your recommendation I just ordered a copy of this off eBay for less than $4. I grew up in a religious family but also stopped going once I went to college. My wife is an active Catholic, and is starting to take our 19 month old son. I don’t want to restrict their faith or spiritual growth, so I’m open to exploring my beliefs again. Thank you for the recommendation.

That’s awesome. It’s great !

[kerrbow]

Hughiam, you and I, and everyone else were created for one thing in this world. That one thing is to have a close, loving relationship with the Father. He loves you more than you can even imagine and seeks you every moment of the day. He will put people in your life that love Him so much and are a great source of counsel, such as your friend. I can tell you that your life will still have trials and suffering no matter what. Let your wife see that Christ lives in you and she will stand in awe of the change He made in your life. As others on here have said there are people praying for you and are willing to help on this journey of yours. If you accept Him you will never be the same.

[CoolArrow]

God will provide you with what you need. Focus on you and your inner peace. Your wife unfortunately has a different agenda. Pray and you will find peace

[AJMag]

Think about the feeling of peace you said you had and build off that. Talk with your friend and others, you will be shown ways to discover God. It's not easy for any believer. We all try to live right, but it's really hard and we all fail repeatedly. We keep pursuing Him though and it pays off. My big one right now is remembering to rejoice in sufferings and be thankful, to lean on him for guidance and not try to be the controller of what happens in life. Learning to do so helps provide some peace. Being faithful and knowing that he will provide, and He's proven that time and time again. There's been hard times that we didn't know how we would make it. We trusted and we made it, as have many others. My best advice right now is don't seek religion for your wife, but for yourself. Give it a chance and see how it can help you live more at peace, but know that struggles are still going to be there as trials, but also as temptations from the devil.

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[Drycreek3189]

You're faith in God or lack of has nothing to do with your wife. Get a relationship with God if you want one. You've probably already lost the one you had with you're wife. Is your new belief, or interest in God dependent on weather or not your wife stays with you? If she leaves will you still seek God or is He just a last resort for you to try and save your marriage?

Thoughts to ponder here, and honestly. Only you can honestly answer.

[Buckley99]

Great questions/suggestions on this thread. If you are really interested in finding God, my suggestion would be to surround yourself with Godly men. Whether that means scheduling a regular lunch with a friend who is a believer or joining a men’s bible study, it’s important to surround yourself with friends that support your journey.

And to AntlerCollector’s question (which I think is a great question), your first decision has to be whether or not you want a relationship with God or whether or not you’re simply trying to save your marriage. As you ponder this question, listen to “Even If” by MercyMe.

In the meantime, we’ll be praying for you brother!