Ever considered premarital counseling?

[DarrellS]

Go ahead and marry this one. You'll learn a lot and the second one you'll know what to expect. Worked for me 20 years ago. Lol

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[Winman]

Try being a Methodist marrying a Catholic girl who has 3 uncles in the priesthood. You will get all the premarital counseling you can stand....but,we have been married for 54 years so maybe it was good.

[BLACKFINTURKEY]

We did and it was great our church provides it for a small fee. Well worth it.

[JLivi1224]

That “last resort” might have been avoided with some proactive tools for dealing with problems that could “possibly” arise. Counseling and “problems” are not mutually inclusive.


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This. It’s a good idea.

[CaptainDave]

We did as it's required in the Catholic church. Had to go to 4 classes, once per month for a few hours. Also had a sponsor couple that we had to meet with about a half dozen times. The sponsor couple had been married for a little over 20 years.

I was a bit skeptical at first, but it ended up being an overall positive experience. Like a few others mentioned, much of it is making sure both of you are on the same page regarding children, finances, in-laws, careers, etc. We learned many new things about one another and our families.

My opinion is it's worth doing and it sure as heck can't hurt. You get a large discount on the marriage license to boot. Sure, there are exceptions to every rule out there.

A very eye opening deal we heard our first day was on divorce rates.

- approximately 50% of marriages end in divorce
- That percentage drops by like 15% for marriages that are performed through a church
- The percentage drops like another 15% for couples that actively attend church

Statistics can be skewed to formulate just about any conclusion; however, it's a fact that marriages with Christ in the center have a much lower divorce rate than marriages that don't.

[Farmdog]

What sucks is when your in desperate need and the counselor is woefully unqualified to help. I was there. If your a great storyteller and the counselor is amased by your commitment it doesnt mean anything if your partner has made up her mind. Its overated. My first marriage...brief. ( death)my second..15 to 18 years depending how you see things..my third is at 10. I still have had a good life

[Farmdog]

Premarital? Oops my bad...wrong thread

[R.W.T]

I took your OP all wrong. Good for y'all for wanting to start off on the right path.

Same here

[Razorback01]

Back in 1988, we discussed with several ministers/pastors, etc. Most wanted us to do some counseling, found one that said "either you can do the marriage with me and I can set you on the path, or you can do it at the JP, I'd rather be involved with it". Almost 30 years later- we are still together. Hasn't been easy, but it has been nice.

[Sleepy]

Counselor talked about prayer and how he and his wife would sometimes stop and pray while having sex for being thankful for the opportunity. I told him we don't ever stop and pray, but she sure hollers his name a lot.

[ByronB]

My Wife and I did this. We had a great Pastor that asked great questions. Really made us think about our future. He also married us. Almost 22 years later and we are very happy together. I do irritate her now and then though.

[Pstraw]

Understand that marriage is a LIFETIME commitment. Also it's not 50-50 but 100-100.

[Buckley99]

This is 33 minutes of the best marriage advice I’ve ever heard. It will be well worth your time.

https://youtu.be/LQa9SJj1p5w

[curtintex]

Premarital counseling is a great idea. HOWEVER.....there is something in wedding cake that makes them change a little bit once they get married. There is something in prenatal vitamins that makes them change some more once they have kids. There is something in hair dye that makes them change some more in middle age. So if you think that woman in PREmarital counseling will in any way resemble the woman you wake up to 20 years later....HA FREAKING HA HA HA.

Now, that being said, the key is to recognize those changes, love her unconditionally and don't say things like, "Your butt is like the county fair....bigger and better every year". Marriage is a tough job....like lion tamer crossed with chainsaw juggler tough. But worth it.....until she kills you with fire in your sleep.


Good luck.

[HoustonHunter]

We had some really great pre marital counseling from our church prior to marriage. I think it was a weekend class with a long questionnaire. Then, our counselor focused on our weaknesses (where our answers didn’t match up). This included finances, number of kids, sex, who ran the household, etc. Lots of discovery.

As with any investment, it’s important to do your due diligence.