Whatever you choose to do I think you owe it to your kids to tell them what your exact plan is before its too late. Just so you can see how they react and what effect it will have on them. It will have consequences.
I went to college with 3 brothers and a sister. Known them since 1988. We have been great friends since. One of them lives down the street from me. Basically family watching our kids grow up together.
When they were very young their Dad ran off on their mother. Up and left Houston, moved to Kansas City with the new gal. The oldest brother never got over it since he had to take over Dad's role. The four of them became very tight and always looked after each other. Their Mom was a teacher at the time so they had a rough transition for a few years. They all turned out ok and eventually allowed their Dad back in their lives to some extent. The oldest not so much but they eventually said their peace.
Dad gets terminal cancer. Has 6 months to live. One by one they went to say their goodbyes. Oldest called a few times but never went to see him. He passes.
The 4 of them went to the funeral. A day or so later the attorney went over the will with the four of them. The wife got the house but there was a substantial amount of money that was there for the 4 of them.
Dad decided to split the cash up by three, leaving the oldest nothing. Zero.
All hell broke loose. These guys are like to fight guys. They calm down and leave. Over the next few weeks the three ($$) of them tried to come up with trying to fix this/make it right. Sister wont budge giving in anything. This goes back and forth. Spouses got involved. I got to hear all of it.
This last Christmas was the first time in 4 years they were able to get together as a family. Still at each others throats. No fun for anyone and I doubt it will ever get better.
The oldest came over for a beer afterwards. He said it was never really about the money (he does fine) it was about Dad breaking it off in his rear one last time and his siblings not getting his back and the effect it has taken on their mother. She has had to live through Dad destroying the family again.
He said if his Dad just would have told him his plan he would have been just fine with it and saved the $$ he wasted flying up there for his funeral.
I went to college with 3 brothers and a sister. Known them since 1988. We have been great friends since. One of them lives down the street from me. Basically family watching our kids grow up together.
When they were very young their Dad ran off on their mother. Up and left Houston, moved to Kansas City with the new gal. The oldest brother never got over it since he had to take over Dad's role. The four of them became very tight and always looked after each other. Their Mom was a teacher at the time so they had a rough transition for a few years. They all turned out ok and eventually allowed their Dad back in their lives to some extent. The oldest not so much but they eventually said their peace.
Dad gets terminal cancer. Has 6 months to live. One by one they went to say their goodbyes. Oldest called a few times but never went to see him. He passes.
The 4 of them went to the funeral. A day or so later the attorney went over the will with the four of them. The wife got the house but there was a substantial amount of money that was there for the 4 of them.
Dad decided to split the cash up by three, leaving the oldest nothing. Zero.
All hell broke loose. These guys are like to fight guys. They calm down and leave. Over the next few weeks the three ($$) of them tried to come up with trying to fix this/make it right. Sister wont budge giving in anything. This goes back and forth. Spouses got involved. I got to hear all of it.
This last Christmas was the first time in 4 years they were able to get together as a family. Still at each others throats. No fun for anyone and I doubt it will ever get better.
The oldest came over for a beer afterwards. He said it was never really about the money (he does fine) it was about Dad breaking it off in his rear one last time and his siblings not getting his back and the effect it has taken on their mother. She has had to live through Dad destroying the family again.
He said if his Dad just would have told him his plan he would have been just fine with it and saved the $$ he wasted flying up there for his funeral.
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