dad jokes

[mooch]

What does a guy with two left feet wear?

Flip flips.


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[kruppa24]

Driving past a cemetery my dad always did the fence joke and always asked
Dad: "do you know how many dead people are in the cemetery?"
Me: "No"
Dad: "all of them"

Guess I was late on this one.

[woodsman]

I tried using my 10 best puns to get a laugh - but no pun in 10 did....

Winning!

[Brazman]

This is my stepladder.

I never knew my real ladder...

[Pushbutton2]

I tried using my 10 best puns to get a laugh - but no pun in 10 did....

Took me a bit to get this.
It's a good one

[BrandonA]

Pull my finger

[jerp]

As I get older I am really bad about lame dad jokes. We were on a vacation last year with extended family - 10 or so people were eating breakfast. My mother in law left bread in the toaster too long - I told her I couldn't eat it because I was "black toast intolerant". I was so pleased with myself for such a clever line but everyone groaned and looked at me like I had taken a dump on the table. I guess that is the reaction you are going for with a good dad joke.

[staplehawk]

Driving past a field of Hay Bales.

Dad: "Hey!"
kids/Wife: "what?.."
Dad: Points to Hay.... "Hay".

[Muskles]

This was kinda a spur of the moment/on the spot dad joke that was unintentional, but today we were on our way to Canton. We past a field that had some large full grown long horn cattle in it with really big horns. I said "hey look at the long horns." In the next field they had younger long horn cattle with smaller horns. I said "hey look at the not so long horns." I thought it was funny, but no one else did.

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[Yelladog]

Driving past a field of Hay Bales.

Dad: "Hey!"
kids/Wife: "what?.."
Dad: Points to Hay.... "Hay".

Got my son and wife with this one. They didn't find It as funny as I did [emoji1]


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[steve corn]

A duck walks into a drug store and says"Give me a tube of Chapstick and put it on my bill".

[steve corn]

What's a pirates favorite state. Arrrrrkasas.

[BigL]

q. What do you make with epileptic lettuce?
a. A seizure salad

q. What does a nosey pepper do?
a. Get jalapeno business

q. What did the horse say when he fell down?
a. Help, I can't giddy up.

[MBV77]

dad jokes

What does a gay horse eat?

Haaaaayyyy


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[txpitdog]

The 20 minute one about "you're not a monk" is the greatest dad joke of all time.


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