hunting jokes

[Arrowslinger1]

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[boy wonder]

Join Buckmasters and.............the jokes on you!

[Abcdj]

A guy told his buddy. We have to go duck hunting. I got this dog from another friend and he is unbelievable.

The dog will run up to the tank or pond look over the dam and return. Then he will bark 3 times if there are 3 ducks, 6 times if there are six ducks. WOW says the friend. We have to go hunting tomorrow.

So they went hunting. they came up to the first tank. The dog ran up and looked over the dam. He ran back to the hunters and grabbed a stick and started shaking his head furiously. The dog owner says what the heck... this dog is nuts.

So they left that tank and moved to the next one.

The same results at the next two tank. The dog picked up a stick and shook his head around again.

The dog owner said, man I am taking this crazy dog back and getting my money back.

So he took the dog back and told the old owner what had happened and how the dog had acted.

The old owner said... OH MAN I forgot to tell you.

If he runs back to you and grabs a stick and shakes it......

That means that there are more ducks than you can shack a stick at on that tank !!!!!

I'll be here all week

[lakefork]

Glad you ask. I was on a lease in Junction, TX in 1994 with Burnadell. He professed to be the master prankster. Me and his nephew put a full body deer archery target about 120 yds from his box blind and told him we had seen a big non-typical in that area. (We added antlers to the "lease record") When I picked him up after the hunt the next morning, I ask him what he saw and he said "well after y'all told me where you saw that big buck, I thought he was more likely to be at stand #2 but I only saw a couple of doe and a nubbin' buck". We drove back to camp and when we got there his nephew ask him what he saw. Burnadel said "you know, after you told me where you saw that big buck, I figured I had a better chance at stand #2." His nephew said "were my binoculars still in that blind"? When Burnadel stuttered, we all started laughing because we knew we had him. He then told us how when it got daylight he saw the "deer" behind the feeder and started moving extra slowly to get his rifle up so as not to spook him. After viewing him through his scope, it "washed" over him that it was not a real deer and he had been pranked.

Not a joke....unless you were there.

[NewBallCoach]

A guy told his buddy. We have to go duck hunting. I got this dog from another friend and he is unbelievable.

The dog will run up to the tank or pond look over the dam and return. Then he will bark 3 times if there are 3 ducks, 6 times if there are six ducks. WOW says the friend. We have to go hunting tomorrow.

So they went hunting. they came up to the first tank. The dog ran up and looked over the dam. He ran back to the hunters and grabbed a stick and started shaking his head furiously. The dog owner says what the heck... this dog is nuts.

So they left that tank and moved to the next one.

The same results at the next two tank. The dog picked up a stick and shook his head around again.

The dog owner said, man I am taking this crazy dog back and getting my money back.

So he took the dog back and told the old owner what had happened and how the dog had acted.

The old owner said... OH MAN I forgot to tell you.

If he runs back to you and grabs a stick and shakes it......

That means that there are more ducks than you can shack a stick at on that tank !!!!!

I'll be here all week

haven't heard that one before but it's a good one

[Abcdj]

The AGGIE was stopped by the game warden because he had 14 deer and one bear on his trailer.

The warden checked ever deer and they were all tagged properly. The warden was shocked!

The bear was tagged properly too!

The warden said man that's some good shooting. Every deer was shot right between their eyes.

The Aggie said well thank ya sir!

The warden said... what about the bear though. you had to shoot him three times.

The Aggie said naw.... I only shoot him once!

When I put that there spot light in his eyes... he covered his eyes with his paws right before I shot him.

[Lynn21]

A guys squirrel dog held one leg up in the air at the base of a tree. He told his buddy that means there's one squirrel up that tree, get ready. A squirrel ran out and he shot it. The dog went to the next tree and held up two legs in the air. The guy then said yep there's two squirrels up that tree. Two ran out and they shot em. At the next tree the dog balanced himself on one leg, held his other 3 legs up in the air, and then stuck his tail up his butt. The buddy said I give up, what's all this mean? The guy says well he's tellin you there's three squirrels up this tree and one in the hole.

[Double-O-Dave]

There was a guy that was duck hunting in Texas when he was stopped by a game warden for an inspection. The hunter had shot three ducks, and he showed them to the game warden. The game warden stuck his finger up the first duck's butt, pulled it out and sniffed his finger and said: "Ah, this duck is from Louisiana. I hope you have a current Louisiana hunting license on you." The hunter reaches into his pocket, pulls out his wallet, and hands the game warden a valid Louisiana hunting license. The game warden then takes the second duck, sticks his finger up the duck's butt, sniffs it and says: "Ah, this duck is from Oklahoma. I hope you have a current Oklahoma hunting license on you." The hunter calmly reaches into his wallet and hands over a valid Oklahoma hunting license. The game warden then checks the third duck and says: "Ah, this duck is from Texas. I hope you have a valid Texas hunting license on you." The hunter calmly reaches into his wallet and hands over a valid Texas hunting license. The game warden then says: "Sir, if you don't mind me asking, where are you from that you have valid hunting licenses from three different states?" The hunter turned around, dropped his pants and said: "Why don't you tell me?"


Regards,

Dave

[WhiplashTX]

Bill and Sam are out hunting and working their way down a ravine when Bill feels an urge and goes behind a bush to do his business. All of a sudden he starts yelling and screaming "It got me.". Sam runs over and finds his buddy holding his privates and there's a rattlesnake just a few feet away. He shoots the rattlesnake and then checks and finds that Bill has truly been bit. Not knowing what to do he tries to call a doctor since they are out in the middle of nowhere. They are still in the ravine and he can't get a signal so he hikes up a hill to get better reception.

Sam: Help my friends been bit by a rattlesnake.
Doctor: You need to get him to a hospital right away.
Sam: I'll try but were hours away from a hospital.
Doctor: Then you'll have to suck the poison out or he's going to die.
Sam: Any other options?
Doctor: Nope, you need to hurry.

So Sam runs back down the hill and already finds his friend not looking well.

Bill: What did the doctor say?
Sam: Sorry man but h said your going to die.