One score (minus 1 year) ago our Generals (Rat and Wildman) brought forth on Granger WMA a new HUNT, conceived in Liberty (somewhat) to the proposition that all archers are created equal. (Lincoln~ish)
It is therefore not surprising that they get bitter, they cling to their bows and camo clothing or antipathy toward wild pigs or anti-gun sentiment or anti-food sentiment as a way to HAVE FUN! (Obama~ish)
They fit in what I call a basket of deplorables. (Clinton~ish)
Make GRXH great again! It's always been great, but you know what I mean! (Trump~ish)
Here it is, all of you Deplorable son's o' b****s; this is your time to shine, make your mark, have your vote be counted*, have your voice be heard** and LIVE THE DREAM by attending the...
Granger Ranger Xtreme Hunt 2017
Date:
Weekend after Valentine's day, since Deplorables don't know how to read a calendar, Valentine's Day is February 14th. That means our hunt starts on Friday the 17th and runs until Sunday the 19th; noon to noon. If you are still unsure, ask a girl, she can tell you when it is and then just be ready the next weekend.
Rules (more like executive orders):
1) No Food! The only way to end up in the river faster is if you ride with Rat! Bring food, get thrown in the drink!
2) Hunting and Fishing licenses re required as well as the APH permit. If you don't know what an APH permit is look it up, you have Google just like the rest of us, so stop being a baby and google it already. Or, you can just ask for an APH permit at your local licensing retailer, it's $48.
3) Hunter Orange is the LAW, wear it. Contrary to what TXUSNAVYCHIEFE says, it is the law and it is required; 144 square inches chest and back plus a lid.
4) No guns or crossbows. The only way you can use a crossbow is IF you usually use a regular bow but have a DOCTOR'S LETTER saying you can't use a regular bow. Otherwise, no crossbows, don't ask why, don't try and change our minds and don't whine; just stay away if you can't get along without a crossbow.
Join the campaign!
Have you always wanted to be a Deplorable? Do you cling to your bow, camo and anti-hog sentiments as the gospel truth? Do you want to help make GRXH Great? Are you pining to be a contributing hunter in this great endeavor?
Then by all means, come on out! Everyone is welcome, period! Keep in mind this is an adult hunting weekend, there will be large amounts of beer and spirits drank, shenanigans pulled, loud, bad language and various other nefarious pranks and stuff.DO NOT COME HERE IF YOU ARE THIN SKINNED, CAN'T TAKE A JOKE OR ARE EASILY OFFENDED!
Like I said, everyone is welcome!
Campaign HQ:
Thankfully, you will not have to travel to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. to attend this hunt.
We meet at the Primitive Camp on the banks of the San Gabriel River, at Granger Lake in Granger, Texas.
Click here for a map...
...click here for another map.
To reach the campaign HQ you will need a boat of some kind, or you can walk a gazillion miles from the Comanche Bluff Trail Head; your choice. We can also pick up people from the No. 7 primitive boat launch (if they have it reopened by that time, and let's hope they do).
*,** Concerning votes and voices, there are neither; this hunt is ruled by the Generals and what they say is law, there are no exceptions, dissenters will be run through and cast into the river or used for hog bait.
Duty Roster
Has Boat
Rat +1
Needs Ride
Looser McLooserface
So, pull out the gear, fix the rips, tears and holes from last time, update the life insurance, get the boat prepped, kiss the wife and kids (possibly for the last time) and
LET'S GET LICKEY!
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