Son thinks we're poor-need advice

[A&M 90]

Take him and show him what poor is...

Agreed. Volunteer serving food at a homeless shelter or distributing food at a food bank.

[txhoghunter73]

Beat the brakes off him.

[14JKURX]

Take him to visit a few homeless shelters for a visit in the evening and see if his attitude changes.

[stickman]

My stepdad was a policeman when we were growing up. He took every opportunity to show us what poor was, we met drug addicts, prostitutes, bums, and just about every street personality you could think of. There was never a better lesson in my book. We were neither poor nor rich but we knew exactly which each was.

[Artos]

We were in the same position & took the same angle as you did. My son didn't use the word poor, but was always bummed he couldn't keep up with the Jones like some of his buddies...he didn't get a car to drive until his senior year, which was my old 99 Tahoe. Almost as old as he was.

My advise would be to stay the course as Kenny came around and actually admitted that living frugal during his childhood was good for him right before I got him his brand new F150 & went off to college. He came to realize many of his friends didn't appreciate what they had.

I don't think you need to explain anything to him at this age...they already think they know everything & just need to deal with your rules of life. Again, stay the course and do what you think is right Dad. He WILL come around. All I said was get a job and buy the crap you want with your own $$$. That stopped it for me.

[boh347]

Volunteer him at a soup kitchen

[rtp]

Rich people stay rich by living like they are broke
Poor people stay poor by living like they are rich

Had many of these same conversations with my kids when they were in middle school and high school. Now as young adults they get it. Hang in there dad.

[JustinB]

All good advice. I think he's at "that age" where image becomes important. I like the ideas about volunteering at homeless shelters, etc

Somebody asked if he goes to private school. No, he goes to public school.

[AntlerCollector]

Show him you have enough money for a belt and know how to use it!

[curtintex]

I think showing him what poor is would help.

I'll say that this can go two ways: When my oldest girls were about 11 and 12, I got the question...."Dad, are we rich? My friend at school says we're rich.". I explained that "No, you are poor. You don't have a job, I provide your housing, your food, your clothes and everything else you have." It was a teaching moment in which I got to explain things like the evils of revolving credit, paying cash for what you want, saving, investing, benevolence, equity and other things. My wife and I have a comfortable life that allows my kids to live comfortably, but I expect them to appreciate, understand and value that someone had to work for it and plan for it. I've been broke as a joke and I've had more than enough.....Neither has ever defined me. That's what needs to be taught.

My oldest is now married and paying her own way and doing very well. My second is in school and living on a TIGHT budget, but managing it well too. My two youngest are still riding the gravy train, but that last stop is an abrupt one and I want them to be prepared.

[hopedale]

Turn off the AC in the house.

Get rid of cable, internet, cell phones, etc.

Have him take the public bus everywhere.

Buy enough ramen noodles that he can eat for the next two weeks. Maybe get the big jar of no name brand peanut butter and cereal.

Take him to the nearest good-will and pick out a nice pair of "experienced" shoes to wear every day. Tell him he can reflect on how poor your family is while walking places.

Box up everything he has in his room except for 1 or 2 items he truly likes.

And lastly, sign up to deliver news papers. O'dark thirty is his new job to help you make extra money by delivering those papers.

[18ncs]

Take him and show him what poor is...

This^^^

[Buckshot-73]

Playa and Curt are spot on.

Take the time to teach the young man about wealth and DEBT.


Dave Ramsey has some programs geared toward kids and managing money.


Live like no one else, so you can live and GIVE like no one else.

[reconman]

Teach him about being wealthy in other things that aren't materialistic too. I.e. family, health, etc.

[jerp]

My boys finally got a good appreciation for how good they have when they started going on mission trips, here in Texas but especially to small villages deep in the middle of Mexico. They did not realize that there are millions of our fellow humans who when they get up in the morning their only task is to figure out how they were going to get something to eat before the sun goes down.