What to wear as a pallbearer

[IowaHunter]

When all else fails - communicate. Talk with the other guys and make a plan.

[brianlg31]

Both times I had the honor of being a pallbearer, the family told us what they would like us to wear.

[ShockValue]

Suit and tie.

[MTNshape]

When in doubt wear a suit. You can never be overdressed for a funeral wedding etc, but you don't want to be the only guy wearing jeans.

[Zen Archery]

Ask.... and what DFWIns said...

[jer_james]

I'd go ahead and ask to make sure.

Both times for me were in a black suit.

[Leonhogboy]

Both times I had the honor of being a pallbearer, the family told us what they would like us to wear.

I agree, consult the family.

[BTLowry]

I would do as others have suggested and ask the other pallbearers and family

[boomer453]

black suit pants and jacket, white shirt, black tie. It's all about showing respect to the deceased and the family.

[CSIceman]

I'd check with the other pallbearers for sure as mentioned above. Being only 19, the suggestions to just wear your suit may require a fairly pricey purchase. I remember asking a couple people what to wear to my business fraternity interview in my Jr. year at TCU and was very casually told to "just wear one of your suits...nothing too fancy". Problem being, I did not own a suit at that time...slacks with nice shirts and a tie were as nice as I'd needed to that point in my life.

That being said, I always dress as nice as possible to show the utmost respect...I often wear that suit I bought in 2002.

[Ruark]

When in doubt wear a suit. You can never be overdressed for a funeral wedding etc, but you don't want to be the only guy wearing jeans.

True. At my mother's service, which was outside by the grave, we all agreed to not wear suits and ties because it was mid-August and just sweltering hot. She wouldn't have minded at all.

Sometimes there is a special request for certain clothes. When my Uncle Flint McCullough (75 years training cutting horses) died, both he and all his pallbearers wore jeans and white western shirts. With the nicer weather we're having now, I'd go with a suit, unless there's a special request. By all means talk to the other pallbearers.

The funeral director will give you a carnation to put on your coat. After the final graveside service, you'll take it off and place it on the casket.

[KNEE DEEP]

Wouldn't hurt to call others and ask.But the main thing is be glad the family called and asked you.Its an honor to be a pallbearer.They must think highly of you to ask you.You'll do great in whatever you wear.

[JWHunt]

Make sure its a dark suit.....

[glen]

It is an honor to be asked- Black suit - black tie - white shirt. Rent one if you don't have one or borrow one.

[ANSCAG]

Done it too many times. First one was when I was 14, uncle's funeral and dad (his brother) was having knee problems so I was asked to take his place. Cowboy funeral with starched jeans and dark western shirt. Most every other time, I've worn a dark suit, coat depends on others, with a white shirt, black tie. My grandfather's funeral, we all wore matching t-shirts over starched jeans and our (polished) work boots. He was a worker to the end and we carried on his legacy.
Ask the other bearers and above all else be humble. Very few honors match being trusted to carry someone to their final resting place.

Thank the family for trusting you with such a responsibility. And stand by them until everyone else has left, until they are ready to leave. That means more than you will understand. They will lean on you for support and your strength will help them let go.
Condolences for the loss and be brave for those around you.

This X100. I never realized the impact I had as a pallbearer til I got a note in the mail from the wife of my friend. She said me sticking around and just talking to the family members (whom I'd never met) and keeping the little kids out of their grieving parents hair met the world to their family. This was at a funeral for an older WW2 vet I had the privilege to work part time at a golf course with in HS. Don't underestimate how much it means for the family to give you that honor. I can tell you're not going about this lightly, as you're already asking advice. That's respectable.

One of my biggest regrets in my life was missing a good friends mothers funeral to go on a preplanned river trip. I've never felt so guilty in my life, and I'll never make that mistake again. To this day, I think it was the most selfish thing I've ever done.